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I know its not rational but... ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Okay, I'll try to keep it short.  Dh works in a resturant.  I found a girls bracelet in his pants pocket.  He's a manager and he says that while at work, she's a cook, and he reminded her no bracelets w. charms - but she had on gloves so she asked him to take it off. he did and put it in his pocket to give it back to her before she left, but he forgot.  I didn't give it back to him.  I was going to take it and pawn it.  I hid it for a while then put it in the change pocket of my wallet so I wouldn't forget next time I was out, but I did.  Then I got a new purse and left my wallet in the old one.  Then I lost the old one.  I knew it was somewhere in the house so I didn't really worry about it.  I just found it tonight and the bracelet is gone.  I'm sure he found it and gave it back to her.  I'm super pissed.  I know I sound stupid, this is just how I feel, I'm just at my wits end.  ugh.


So when dh got home last night we talked about all of this.  He admitted that he had found the bracelet but that he hadn't given it back to her, and he gave it back to me.  Due to some of the ladies advice on here I told him to give it back to her.  I still don't feel good about the whole thing and I love how some of you are coming off (need to post anon more often, get to see new sides to people)  I want to thank the few that were able to keep it kind, and not be ugly/hateful/completely unproductive.  I'm sure the rest of you have never done anything wrong or stupid, never overreacted or acted outta pocket for any reasons.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:39 PM
Replies (131-140):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:12 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Why did you go anon?

And if it came off while they were fucking how did it end up in his pocket? And wouldn't it be broke? His explanation is much more rational than tours


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

You are a bitch. That would be stealing.

why'd you post anon?  yea, I can be a bitch, but I'm not one in general.  I'm not perfect by far and don't claim to be.  I think they we're messing around and thats how he got her bracelet.  I'm not saying I was right, obviously its not something I feel really good about, but I really don't feel terribly bad either if thats how he got it.


which is why I posted with the title 'I know its not rational but'.  as I explained to another poster, I went anon bc I'm terribly embarrassed about the whole thing.  But if I was just replying to some one else's f'd up situation, I wouldn't post anon just to be negative, or even to be positive.

Grumpylilpixy
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:13 AM
Yeah you have a lot of issues.Get help
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:14 AM
I always post anon.

But you're obviously terribly insecure. You should really see a therapist. And I don't mean that rudely either.


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

Why did you go anon?



And if it came off while they were fucking how did it end up in his pocket? And wouldn't it be broke? His explanation is much more rational than tours





Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

You are a bitch. That would be stealing.

why'd you post anon?  yea, I can be a bitch, but I'm not one in general.  I'm not perfect by far and don't claim to be.  I think they we're messing around and thats how he got her bracelet.  I'm not saying I was right, obviously its not something I feel really good about, but I really don't feel terribly bad either if thats how he got it.



which is why I posted with the title 'I know its not rational but'.  as I explained to another poster, I went anon bc I'm terribly embarrassed about the whole thing.  But if I was just replying to some one else's f'd up situation, I wouldn't post anon just to be negative, or even to be positive.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:16 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I always post anon.

But you're obviously terribly insecure. You should really see a therapist. And I don't mean that rudely either.


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

Why did you go anon?



And if it came off while they were fucking how did it end up in his pocket? And wouldn't it be broke? His explanation is much more rational than tours





Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

You are a bitch. That would be stealing.

why'd you post anon?  yea, I can be a bitch, but I'm not one in general.  I'm not perfect by far and don't claim to be.  I think they we're messing around and thats how he got her bracelet.  I'm not saying I was right, obviously its not something I feel really good about, but I really don't feel terribly bad either if thats how he got it.



which is why I posted with the title 'I know its not rational but'.  as I explained to another poster, I went anon bc I'm terribly embarrassed about the whole thing.  But if I was just replying to some one else's f'd up situation, I wouldn't post anon just to be negative, or even to be positive.


I am very insecure in my marriage.  He's hurt me alot but I was hoping we could work thru all of it, I just don't know that I can get over the lies and trust him again.  I've been in therapy.

LeahJ
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:41 AM
1 mom liked this
Ok. Sure. Even assuming that's true, what a horrible, nasty thing to accuse someone of. Which brings me back to my original point: poor dh having to apologize to his co worker for the bat shit crazy wife.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Would i ask the crazy wife? No. Because I have always worked with professionals and if my boss had been holding onto it for me, i would expect HIM to get it back for me. I certainly wouldn't go jumping into the middle of dealing with his bat shit crazy wife. I'm just the employee. That hot mess is HIS to deal with.



Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Can you imagine her poor dh at work the next day? Having to apologize to the cook for his bat shit crazy wife? Damn.





Quoting Anonymous:

This adds a whole new level of crazy to this.










Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting glitterteaz:

You know if you had a reason to be the least bit concerned you could of took it back to her yourself to see if she looked the least bit guilty or if she was just happy to have it back

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Always1222:

Hmm...well it sounds more like your concern was that he got the bracelet in a different way then he said. Is that why you wanted to pawn it? If he did get it through cheating or something of the like I could understand, however if you guys have a strong relationship then I don't understand....Hope it all works out though.

yes!! thank you! he has cheated in the past, and even recently been doing some things a married man shouldn't be doing w. a coworker (innapropriate texting) and I know alot of people would say I should just leave but I decided to try and work things out.  Its hard building trust though after repeated issues.  


I talked to her after I got the bracelet to ask her if anything was going on between them two. I was thinking of maybe giving her the bracelet back then but I jsut didn't believe her.  




well the next day he still didn't know I had it.  But if you were the female, and your boss got your bracelet as described,then told he lost it or his crazy wife got it, would you ask wife about it ? 

When I talked to her we had a calm conversation.  I wasn't up in her face , calling her names or accusing her of anything.   

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:47 AM


Quoting LeahJ:

Ok. Sure. Even assuming that's true, what a horrible, nasty thing to accuse someone of. Which brings me back to my original point: poor dh having to apologize to his co worker for the bat shit crazy wife.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Would i ask the crazy wife? No. Because I have always worked with professionals and if my boss had been holding onto it for me, i would expect HIM to get it back for me. I certainly wouldn't go jumping into the middle of dealing with his bat shit crazy wife. I'm just the employee. That hot mess is HIS to deal with.



Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Can you imagine her poor dh at work the next day? Having to apologize to the cook for his bat shit crazy wife? Damn.





Quoting Anonymous:

This adds a whole new level of crazy to this.










Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting glitterteaz:

You know if you had a reason to be the least bit concerned you could of took it back to her yourself to see if she looked the least bit guilty or if she was just happy to have it back

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Always1222:

Hmm...well it sounds more like your concern was that he got the bracelet in a different way then he said. Is that why you wanted to pawn it? If he did get it through cheating or something of the like I could understand, however if you guys have a strong relationship then I don't understand....Hope it all works out though.

yes!! thank you! he has cheated in the past, and even recently been doing some things a married man shouldn't be doing w. a coworker (innapropriate texting) and I know alot of people would say I should just leave but I decided to try and work things out.  Its hard building trust though after repeated issues.  


I talked to her after I got the bracelet to ask her if anything was going on between them two. I was thinking of maybe giving her the bracelet back then but I jsut didn't believe her.  




well the next day he still didn't know I had it.  But if you were the female, and your boss got your bracelet as described,then told he lost it or his crazy wife got it, would you ask wife about it ? 

When I talked to her we had a calm conversation.  I wasn't up in her face , calling her names or accusing her of anything.   

I didn't accuse her of anything.  And yeah, cheating is horrible and nasty - and still happens.  Since I can't believe him I figured I would just ask her, woman to woman.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:49 AM


Quoting LeahJ:

Ok. Sure. Even assuming that's true, what a horrible, nasty thing to accuse someone of. Which brings me back to my original point: poor dh having to apologize to his co worker for the bat shit crazy wife.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Would i ask the crazy wife? No. Because I have always worked with professionals and if my boss had been holding onto it for me, i would expect HIM to get it back for me. I certainly wouldn't go jumping into the middle of dealing with his bat shit crazy wife. I'm just the employee. That hot mess is HIS to deal with.



Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Can you imagine her poor dh at work the next day? Having to apologize to the cook for his bat shit crazy wife? Damn.





Quoting Anonymous:

This adds a whole new level of crazy to this.










Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting glitterteaz:

You know if you had a reason to be the least bit concerned you could of took it back to her yourself to see if she looked the least bit guilty or if she was just happy to have it back

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Always1222:

Hmm...well it sounds more like your concern was that he got the bracelet in a different way then he said. Is that why you wanted to pawn it? If he did get it through cheating or something of the like I could understand, however if you guys have a strong relationship then I don't understand....Hope it all works out though.

yes!! thank you! he has cheated in the past, and even recently been doing some things a married man shouldn't be doing w. a coworker (innapropriate texting) and I know alot of people would say I should just leave but I decided to try and work things out.  Its hard building trust though after repeated issues.  


I talked to her after I got the bracelet to ask her if anything was going on between them two. I was thinking of maybe giving her the bracelet back then but I jsut didn't believe her.  




well the next day he still didn't know I had it.  But if you were the female, and your boss got your bracelet as described,then told he lost it or his crazy wife got it, would you ask wife about it ? 

When I talked to her we had a calm conversation.  I wasn't up in her face , calling her names or accusing her of anything.   

I love how you seem to assume I'm 'batshit crazy' instead of possibly I have good reason not to trust dh.

LeahJ
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:14 AM
You may have every reason in the world not to trust your dh. And if that's the case then you and your dh deal with the problem, or divorce, or whatever the case may be. You do not drag an innocent co worker into your paranoia and steal her property. THAT is the problem. Over reacting and dragging someone into your issues is the problem.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Ok. Sure. Even assuming that's true, what a horrible, nasty thing to accuse someone of. Which brings me back to my original point: poor dh having to apologize to his co worker for the bat shit crazy wife.



Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Would i ask the crazy wife? No. Because I have always worked with professionals and if my boss had been holding onto it for me, i would expect HIM to get it back for me. I certainly wouldn't go jumping into the middle of dealing with his bat shit crazy wife. I'm just the employee. That hot mess is HIS to deal with.





Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Can you imagine her poor dh at work the next day? Having to apologize to the cook for his bat shit crazy wife? Damn.







Quoting Anonymous:

This adds a whole new level of crazy to this.













Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting glitterteaz:

You know if you had a reason to be the least bit concerned you could of took it back to her yourself to see if she looked the least bit guilty or if she was just happy to have it back

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Always1222:

Hmm...well it sounds more like your concern was that he got the bracelet in a different way then he said. Is that why you wanted to pawn it? If he did get it through cheating or something of the like I could understand, however if you guys have a strong relationship then I don't understand....Hope it all works out though.

yes!! thank you! he has cheated in the past, and even recently been doing some things a married man shouldn't be doing w. a coworker (innapropriate texting) and I know alot of people would say I should just leave but I decided to try and work things out.  Its hard building trust though after repeated issues.  


I talked to her after I got the bracelet to ask her if anything was going on between them two. I was thinking of maybe giving her the bracelet back then but I jsut didn't believe her.  





well the next day he still didn't know I had it.  But if you were the female, and your boss got your bracelet as described,then told he lost it or his crazy wife got it, would you ask wife about it ? 

When I talked to her we had a calm conversation.  I wasn't up in her face , calling her names or accusing her of anything.   

I love how you seem to assume I'm 'batshit crazy' instead of possibly I have good reason not to trust dh.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
LeahJ
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:18 AM
Sigh. There's just so much wrong with that statement.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Ok. Sure. Even assuming that's true, what a horrible, nasty thing to accuse someone of. Which brings me back to my original point: poor dh having to apologize to his co worker for the bat shit crazy wife.



Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Would i ask the crazy wife? No. Because I have always worked with professionals and if my boss had been holding onto it for me, i would expect HIM to get it back for me. I certainly wouldn't go jumping into the middle of dealing with his bat shit crazy wife. I'm just the employee. That hot mess is HIS to deal with.





Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LeahJ:

Can you imagine her poor dh at work the next day? Having to apologize to the cook for his bat shit crazy wife? Damn.







Quoting Anonymous:

This adds a whole new level of crazy to this.













Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting glitterteaz:

You know if you had a reason to be the least bit concerned you could of took it back to her yourself to see if she looked the least bit guilty or if she was just happy to have it back

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Always1222:

Hmm...well it sounds more like your concern was that he got the bracelet in a different way then he said. Is that why you wanted to pawn it? If he did get it through cheating or something of the like I could understand, however if you guys have a strong relationship then I don't understand....Hope it all works out though.

yes!! thank you! he has cheated in the past, and even recently been doing some things a married man shouldn't be doing w. a coworker (innapropriate texting) and I know alot of people would say I should just leave but I decided to try and work things out.  Its hard building trust though after repeated issues.  


I talked to her after I got the bracelet to ask her if anything was going on between them two. I was thinking of maybe giving her the bracelet back then but I jsut didn't believe her.  





well the next day he still didn't know I had it.  But if you were the female, and your boss got your bracelet as described,then told he lost it or his crazy wife got it, would you ask wife about it ? 

When I talked to her we had a calm conversation.  I wasn't up in her face , calling her names or accusing her of anything.   

I didn't accuse her of anything.  And yeah, cheating is horrible and nasty - and still happens.  Since I can't believe him I figured I would just ask her, woman to woman.  

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
BelleVernonGirl
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:24 AM

Please God I hope you're a troll...

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