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Am I in the wrong here or is he overreacting??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ok so DF and I got stationed to a new place. He has a few friends here. I have none.


About a month ago DF got a DUI and it got spread throughout the spouses through his "best friends" wife. She gossiped. Yadda yadda yadda.


Now I'm here. I want to go and get my hair cut. I am on the bases spouses fb page. I wanted to ask if anyone had a certain person they went to. I wanted reccomendations . I don't want to go to someone and get my hair effed up.


Well that fired him up. He yelled at me and said I shouldn't be asking them for anything. They spread lies about him and whatever.


This is how I see it. HIS friends' wife talked crap about him. She spread shit. He has to deal with it. NOW I can't make friendly with the other military wives CAUSE HE SAID SO. This is no fair. I wanted to ask a simple question. I just want a decent hairdresser.


I feel this is just ridiculous but he went to bed and slammed shit along the way. I moved across the country to be with him. WTF????

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:33 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:44 AM

Exactly how I feel. HE messed up. NOT ME. HIS friends wife gossiped to other wives here. I shouldn't be penalized for that but apparently I'm wrong. BTW I do understand what he did wrong before people jump to the assumption that I am defending him. I know he did wrong.

Quoting Hierophant85:

He fucked up, not you. You shouldn't be punished because people gossiped about something that happened to be true.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:47 AM

He made one bad decision. He has paid for it and still is. I am not one to give up on my family unless it invovles abuse or something of the sort. I just think he is in a funk and letting others influence him. Just looking for advice is all.

Quoting Anonymous:

move back...unless you like this treatment, it's here to stay, sadly...


Lydlou02
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:48 AM
It may not be bothering you, but his bad choices are the root of his problem. It certainly seems to be bothering him that he's being judged for his lapse.

I hope you make good friends.


Quoting Anonymous:

The DUI isn't what is bothering me. It's just his whole mentality of "Well I'f I can't do it then you can't"  or making me feel guilty.

Quoting Ninjascreenname:

He's being an ass. Its not your fault he got a DUI.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:50 AM


um, trying to control WHO you can talk to or see IS mental/emotional abuse....red flags, honey

Quoting Anonymous:

He made one bad decision. He has paid for it and still is. I am not one to give up on my family unless it invovles abuse or something of the sort. I just think he is in a funk and letting others influence him. Just looking for advice is all.

Quoting Anonymous:

move back...unless you like this treatment, it's here to stay, sadly...




TaralynnStewart
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:51 AM
How are they spreading lies? Did he or did he not get a DUI? Tell him to grow up and think before he decides to drink and drive again.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:51 AM


Quote:

 NOW I can't make friendly with the other military wives CAUSE HE SAID SO. 

red flags in this statement here..if he makes you feel like that, he is abusing you
Lydlou02
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:51 AM
I think she means his behavior sounds controlling, even possibly emotionally abusive.
IMO as long as you can look him in the face and say "whatever, I do what I want" or the equivalent, then you're fine.


Quoting Anonymous:

He made one bad decision. He has paid for it and still is. I am not one to give up on my family unless it invovles abuse or something of the sort. I just think he is in a funk and letting others influence him. Just looking for advice is all.

Quoting Anonymous:

move back...unless you like this treatment, it's here to stay, sadly...


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:51 AM
Tell him to live with his mistake and get over it! He should have known being military, anything you do gets talked about! We are military and I've heard all kinds of shit. But, I personally don't ask the other wives anything. When I see someone in town that has great hair I ask them where they get it done. I do agree, your husband is being an ass. You didn't do anything wrong so don't feel guilty. You know that old saying misery loves company.... Well that's your husband.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:52 AM

He sounds like a controlling hypocrite.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 6:53 AM

Thank you. I can definitely see it from his point of view. I can't imagine what he is going through. However I wouldn't neglect (that may not be the appropriate word) my spouse to engage and get to know other spouses that may be a support network in the near future.

Quoting Lydlou02:

It may not be bothering you, but his bad choices are the root of his problem. It certainly seems to be bothering him that he's being judged for his lapse.

I hope you make good friends.


Quoting Anonymous:

The DUI isn't what is bothering me. It's just his whole mentality of "Well I'f I can't do it then you can't"  or making me feel guilty.

Quoting Ninjascreenname:

He's being an ass. Its not your fault he got a DUI.



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