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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Upset & REALLY don't know how to handle this situation

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

I car pool with a friend since her daughter and my son are in the same kindergarten class. A few weeks back when I picked them up from school, friend's daughter got in the car and told me that my son and a few other boys were showing each other their private parts under the table at school. Upon further investigation it sounded to me like they never actually showed private parts or pulled pants down, just sticking their butts out and givingn little "pelvic thrusts" under the table. Either way, extremely inappropriate and very upsetting, especially considering I've talked to my son about privates and not sharing, and letting me know if anyone shares with him, etc. since as long as we could communicate. I just really thought I had it pounded in his head. So I had a good long talk with him about it. He says he did it because the other boys were doing it, so we talked about not being a follower when you know that something is wrong, and he KNOWS that is wrong. I thought we had a good talk and he had a good understanding, so I left it alone. This morning before school he made some sort of comment about him and a friend at school showing each other their underwear. He said they just like to show each other how cool they are. LIke, "I have guitars" "well I have power rangers" type thing. Am I over reacting? Is this extremely inappropriate behavior or is this something young kids do? They're not pulling down their pants, but they are showing each other their underwear????  THEN, he tells me a different kid always crawls under the stall when he's going to the bathroom and he has to tell him to get out, and that the same kid sticks his bare butt under the door while they're going to the bathroom to show him his butt. This situation with this particular kid will definitely be addressed with the teacher, especially since my son is telling the kid to stop. Coming into the bathroom while he's peeing??? Come on! I've just never dealt with anything like this and any advice on it, and especially advice on how to address this with his teacher would be greatly appreciated. Am I over-reacting?? Would you be upset?? They are just in kindergarten, so maybe that's what kindergartners do, but I feel like it's inappropriate, and I'm very disappointed in my son. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AmyD43
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:55 AM
Kids will be kids. Talk to the teacher but they are just innocent little kids
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:58 AM
I would tell your son its inappropriate, but not make a huge deal out of it. Boys will be boys.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:59 AM
My dd did something similar when she was in kindergarten. She poked her head under the stall while in the bathroom just to talk to her friend in the stall next to her. Kids will be kids. Obviously ya have to talk it through with your son and the teacher should know about the other boys' behavior so she can address it with his parents. However, I don't think it's anything to get too worked up about, they are still so young and have a lot of learning to do about personal boundaries.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:01 AM

sounds typical....in daycare they did the same thing

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Eh...Sounds like normal Kindergarten behavior to me. Boys will be boys ; )
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:04 AM
I remember comparing panties with my bff. We had the same lunchbox or something stupid, then, we just started comparing everything else we had that wad similar. Turns out, we had the same Minnie mouse or whatever panties on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:04 AM

Thanks ladies! I feel a little better now. I know it's inappropriate, but at this age, I'm not so sure. I just didn't want to be all worked up about it if it's a normal, common thing. Obviously, Im still going to make my son aware that it is not ok. I think showing each other their "cool" underwear is not a big deal, but invading bathroom privacy... not ok.

LoveMyLos
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:06 AM

i would like to know what these teachers are doing while all this shit is going on? ridiculous.

M0M0F03
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:06 AM

I would talk to the teacher, but boys love to talk about farts, poop and butts...I don't think thet ever grow out of it!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:06 AM

As the mother of two boys, let me tell you that life is going to be interesting. Yes, address the kid crawling under the stalls. The other, pretty normal. As the kids get older, don't be surprised to hear about peeing contests to see who can pee the greatest distance. I had a professor of adolescent psychology (man) who had all of the males in the class (older students because it was a graduate class) because he talked about "jack off" contests when the guys were older. Few men admit it, but I have been told by a few that it does happen. When my son was in the 5th grade, there was a boy who thought it was funny to pee on the other boys' feet. I won't begin to go into all I saw in high school. I do think you hold your son to a higher standard. I worked with my son on "come backs" for the bullies and they knew the standards I had for their behavior. But, don't shame him...

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