• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mother of a Transgendered Child

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM
  • 1459 Replies
179 moms liked this


My name is Jennifer, I am 31 years old and the mother of two amazing children. My oldest child is 11 years old and really intelligent. Now, I know parents say that a lot about their children but she really is very smart. She is 11 years old and already taking high school credits and next year she will be taking college credits. She is spunky and has a mind and style all her own. She never follows the crowd and is a trend setter at her school.

My youngest is also just as awesome and unique. My youngest came and sat me down about 2 months ago. Actually, my oldest came to me first and said, "Mom, Erin and I have something that we need to talk to you about." That is when I sat down with my kids and had my youngest tell me, "Mom, I'm a girl." I had no idea what to think at first; you see, Erin had been in fact born Aaron, a boy. Now, I have seen the signs since she was very young but always would tell her that she is a boys and boys don't dress or act that way. When my kids sat me down, however, it hit me. Erin had been confiding in her sister for a while; they would dress up together in private, too afraid to tell me cause Erin did not want to disappoint me. I thought it over for a minute and thought about how I have always told my kids they could be whatever they wanted to be, that I would always love them because I am their mother. I realized I could not be upset, that no matter what, this is still my child; my child I gave birth to and have loved and still love with all my heart and soul.

Ever since Erin has came out to me and people around her, she has been a totally different child; happier and more at peace. Erin used to be an introvert and a troublemaker at home. She would throw tantrums, backtalk, and try to cause self harm, but ever since she has came out to the world, she is very lovable, very well behaved, and has so many friends. I have seen so many people point accusing fingers at me, telling me that somehow this is my fault and that I am crazy for allowing Erin to be herself instead of boy. They did not see the child before the transformation.

I want parents and everyone to think about something before pointing fingers and making accusations. Think about how I said my child was self harming before coming out. It was scary not knowing how to help my child because they felt alone. You can't tell me therapy would have been suffice because I tried therapy and hospitalization, cause I did not know at the time why Erin was self harming. Trust me, nothing worked. But ever since Erin has came out to me and has support now from therapist and me, she has done a total turn around.

As a parent, it is our duty to protect our children and love them forever. It is our duty to nurture them and encourage them. On top of all that, though, it is not our job to tell them what they can or cannot be. We need to help them find their talents and to nurture those talents. Love them unconditionally.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:47 AM
107 moms liked this

I commend you!  You are a testament to good parenting.  

by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:47 AM
11 moms liked this

Beware, you will be torn to shreds, your parenting skills will be attacked, and your children will be attacked.

I like your post, and great work on loving your kids, but beware.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:47 AM
32 moms liked this
She's a very pretty little girl; and a very lucky one to have an understanding and supportive family. :-)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Stacey on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:49 AM
4 moms liked this

 Thank you for sharing.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:49 AM
10 moms liked this
I have a friend who just completed the surgery f/ male to female. I commend you on your unconditional love of your child. That's how it should be.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:49 AM
86 moms liked this

First, since you're new, I want to point out that bitches around here are freaking rude and you can probably expect some unnecessary cruelty or bashing. It's immature at best. 

that being said, I think you are an AMAZING woman and mother for doing what your little girl NEEDS you to do. Most people wouldn't accept that their child has a gender identity disorder, and would try to cure them of it. You are a beautiful person! HUGS. Also, your daughter is beautiful!

by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM
12 moms liked this

What a wonderful mom she has, and I applaud you for telling your story and trying to de-stigmatize having a transgendered child

by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM


by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM
6 moms liked this

She's beautiful! She is very lucky to have a mom like you! I want to cry reading your story. I am glad her friends are accepting. I think this new generation is going to be so open minded! :)

Are you planning on helping her with hormone treatments when puberty hits since it's right around the corner?

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM
7 moms liked this

well good for you :) gosh that must have been a bit confusing though huh? i know i would be fine with a child telling me they were gay but i wont lie...id be intimidated by them saying they were transgender. that brings a whole new set of circumstances to the table i haven't really dealt with before. I'm glad you have found what works for your family and that you have professionals helping you along the way. i hope Erin is at peace with who she is now and can have a happy productive life :)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)