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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Mother of a Transgendered Child

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Hello!

My name is Jennifer, I am 31 years old and the mother of two amazing children. My oldest child is 11 years old and really intelligent. Now, I know parents say that a lot about their children but she really is very smart. She is 11 years old and already taking high school credits and next year she will be taking college credits. She is spunky and has a mind and style all her own. She never follows the crowd and is a trend setter at her school.

My youngest is also just as awesome and unique. My youngest came and sat me down about 2 months ago. Actually, my oldest came to me first and said, "Mom, Erin and I have something that we need to talk to you about." That is when I sat down with my kids and had my youngest tell me, "Mom, I'm a girl." I had no idea what to think at first; you see, Erin had been in fact born Aaron, a boy. Now, I have seen the signs since she was very young but always would tell her that she is a boys and boys don't dress or act that way. When my kids sat me down, however, it hit me. Erin had been confiding in her sister for a while; they would dress up together in private, too afraid to tell me cause Erin did not want to disappoint me. I thought it over for a minute and thought about how I have always told my kids they could be whatever they wanted to be, that I would always love them because I am their mother. I realized I could not be upset, that no matter what, this is still my child; my child I gave birth to and have loved and still love with all my heart and soul.

Ever since Erin has came out to me and people around her, she has been a totally different child; happier and more at peace. Erin used to be an introvert and a troublemaker at home. She would throw tantrums, backtalk, and try to cause self harm, but ever since she has came out to the world, she is very lovable, very well behaved, and has so many friends. I have seen so many people point accusing fingers at me, telling me that somehow this is my fault and that I am crazy for allowing Erin to be herself instead of boy. They did not see the child before the transformation.

I want parents and everyone to think about something before pointing fingers and making accusations. Think about how I said my child was self harming before coming out. It was scary not knowing how to help my child because they felt alone. You can't tell me therapy would have been suffice because I tried therapy and hospitalization, cause I did not know at the time why Erin was self harming. Trust me, nothing worked. But ever since Erin has came out to me and has support now from therapist and me, she has done a total turn around.

As a parent, it is our duty to protect our children and love them forever. It is our duty to nurture them and encourage them. On top of all that, though, it is not our job to tell them what they can or cannot be. We need to help them find their talents and to nurture those talents. Love them unconditionally.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Replies (31-40):
AleaKat
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
This exactly

Quoting mcwife86:

well good for you :) gosh that must have been a bit confusing though huh? i know i would be fine with a child telling me they were gay but i wont lie...id be intimidated by them saying they were transgender. that brings a whole new set of circumstances to the table i haven't really dealt with before. I'm glad you have found what works for your family and that you have professionals helping you along the way. i hope Erin is at peace with who she is now and can have a happy productive life :)

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AimeeReneV
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:04 AM
2 moms liked this
Amazing story and inspiring! When you see this stories the parents usually start off saying that when their child told then they were transgender they rejected the idea, but you just went right with it and realized that the signs have been there all along! I hope your daughters realize how lucky they are to have you :) this world needs more parents like you, there just aren't enough
zipporah1122
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:04 AM
5 moms liked this

@Pepper Willow

Your daughter is so beautiful and yes it is a very scary thing for a parent to go through watching a child self harm. I have had people try to tell me she is not old enough to know this, but she is. Children know a lot more than we give them credit for.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM
5 moms liked this

Sometimes if they bash it's because they care. It IS ridiculous that kids are thinking about this issue even AT ALL and even at a young age. Hello and thanks MEDIA for filling our kids heads with issues that they shouldn't be thinking about. WTF ?


Quoting Jessica_Esqueda:

First, since you're new, I want to point out that bitches around here are freaking rude and you can probably expect some unnecessary cruelty or bashing. It's immature at best. 


that being said, I think you are an AMAZING woman and mother for doing what your little girl NEEDS you to do. Most people wouldn't accept that their child has a gender identity disorder, and would try to cure them of it. You are a beautiful person! HUGS. Also, your daughter is beautiful!



Jennyanne322
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this
I commend you on being a great parent and doing this for your child. I do have a question though. In school do they call her Erin, or do they insist on calling Aaron? Did she get to pick Erin out, or you helped? It's awesome that she has a sister that she is so open with, and that they came to you like adults. How does Erin's dad and your families feel about this?
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PepperWillow
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:08 AM
2 moms liked this

My family has been well. So far everyone is very accepting of her. It has only been a few months. I think it was easy for people who know her because she has always been a little girl on the inside, yah know? It wasn't hard for people who know us well to comprehend. 

We haven't told my in laws though because they are very difficult people who do not involve themselves much in our life. For example her Grandma sent a giant pack of army men for Christmas. She would never play with that lol. They don't really know the children and we haven't told them.

Jas is going to get medical testing to see if there is an underlying medical issue in 3 weeks. Can't wait.

thanks for asking. :)

Quoting MissMysteriouss:

She is adorable!!

How has your family been? I can imagine her being so young, that it may cause more drama.



Quoting PepperWillow:

My child is transgender as well. Only she is 5. We dealt with the self harm too. It was very scary. She is so much happier now.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:08 AM
What an insperation (sp?) you and your DD are. I commend you momma. Great job.
zipporah1122
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:08 AM
4 moms liked this

She is 10 years old and trust me, she must have really been thinking everything through before she sat me down with everything she has told me and things that might happen if she told.

msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:10 AM
3 moms liked this
Klinefelters syndrome does not make you transgender *sips coffee*

Shameful troll


Quoting zipporah1122:

yes, Erin was born with an extra female chromosone. The Dr. said one in 2000 children are born with this rarity.

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zipporah1122
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:10 AM
2 moms liked this
She picked out Erin and at school they call her Erin. Surprisingly, everyone has been more accepting of her since she came out. She actually has more friends and more of social life since she came out.


by
Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:06 AM

I commend you on being a great parent and doing this for your child. I do have a question though. In school do they call her Erin, or do they insist on calling Aaron? Did she get to pick Erin out, or you helped? It's awesome that she has a sister that she is so open with, and that they came to you like adults. How does Erin's dad and your families feel about this?

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