Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mother of a Transgendered Child

Posted by   + Show Post

Hello!

My name is Jennifer, I am 31 years old and the mother of two amazing children. My oldest child is 11 years old and really intelligent. Now, I know parents say that a lot about their children but she really is very smart. She is 11 years old and already taking high school credits and next year she will be taking college credits. She is spunky and has a mind and style all her own. She never follows the crowd and is a trend setter at her school.

My youngest is also just as awesome and unique. My youngest came and sat me down about 2 months ago. Actually, my oldest came to me first and said, "Mom, Erin and I have something that we need to talk to you about." That is when I sat down with my kids and had my youngest tell me, "Mom, I'm a girl." I had no idea what to think at first; you see, Erin had been in fact born Aaron, a boy. Now, I have seen the signs since she was very young but always would tell her that she is a boys and boys don't dress or act that way. When my kids sat me down, however, it hit me. Erin had been confiding in her sister for a while; they would dress up together in private, too afraid to tell me cause Erin did not want to disappoint me. I thought it over for a minute and thought about how I have always told my kids they could be whatever they wanted to be, that I would always love them because I am their mother. I realized I could not be upset, that no matter what, this is still my child; my child I gave birth to and have loved and still love with all my heart and soul.

Ever since Erin has came out to me and people around her, she has been a totally different child; happier and more at peace. Erin used to be an introvert and a troublemaker at home. She would throw tantrums, backtalk, and try to cause self harm, but ever since she has came out to the world, she is very lovable, very well behaved, and has so many friends. I have seen so many people point accusing fingers at me, telling me that somehow this is my fault and that I am crazy for allowing Erin to be herself instead of boy. They did not see the child before the transformation.

I want parents and everyone to think about something before pointing fingers and making accusations. Think about how I said my child was self harming before coming out. It was scary not knowing how to help my child because they felt alone. You can't tell me therapy would have been suffice because I tried therapy and hospitalization, cause I did not know at the time why Erin was self harming. Trust me, nothing worked. But ever since Erin has came out to me and has support now from therapist and me, she has done a total turn around.

As a parent, it is our duty to protect our children and love them forever. It is our duty to nurture them and encourage them. On top of all that, though, it is not our job to tell them what they can or cannot be. We need to help them find their talents and to nurture those talents. Love them unconditionally.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Replies (121-130):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:01 PM

 


Quoting ElizabethGracie:

Where in the world did she come up with the name Dimitri?

Isn't that the guy in the Anastasia story? If so, that's where she got it. She also loves the story of Gulliver's Travels and wants to play "Gulliver." She is happiest when I am pretending to tie her up, like the Lilliputians tied up Gulliver. When she was 2 1/2, she loudly proclaimed she was a boy, in Target when I was buying her first bedding set. However, she now also wears dresses, wants to wear fancy shoes, and so she seems to go back and forth!

 

trl12081208
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:04 PM
There is a girl her age named Jazzy on YouTube. She may relate.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
KariC33
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:04 PM
2 moms liked this

Wow... You seriously made my day! :) I love seeing mothers like you , that dont judge their children even though they make decisions we would never except, youre an amazing woman, you never judged your child and supported her all the way im very happy to see we actually still have people with hearts and a real soul out there. Thank you very much for sharing i love hearing experiences like this ! Keep it up and never stop being the excellent parent you are.
bow down

catrig
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:04 PM
2 moms liked this
I am glad that you are letting your child be herself. My spouse was born as a male, but identifies as female. I've seen that internal struggle. It does a lot of damage trying to fit in a mold. She is so much happier now. People occassionally.....smh... I've had people say that they hope he goes back to being a man, and I guess, to them this is totally out of left field. I just wish people would use their filter more.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
steffycc
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:06 PM
1 mom liked this

I commend you for being  a supportive parent.  Both your girls are beautiful. 

Now I have a 3 year old girl she hangs out with boys mostly and loves all things superhero, playing with cars and trains and all sorts of "boy" things.  But she also is my little princess she loves everything princess, hello kitty, loves to dress up in her princess dresses and will twirl and twirl around the house with her high heels (plastic shoes)  I dont think anything of it she calls herself a girl and is happy being that. 

 I feel like their is a difference obviously OP your daughter feels like a girl and wants to be a girl.  I think people know at a young age who they are meant to be they know what they feel inside.  And again I commend you for being supportive in her decision.  Yes there will be people who will not accept her but by you being there that alone will help her through life and be able to handle those negative closed minded people.   

Sj218
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:08 PM
2 moms liked this
Good job mamma! Way to be your child's support and advocate. I'm very proud of you!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
blancavazquez
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:09 PM

You are such an AMAZING mom! your girls are beautiful. 
may I ask what did erin use to do when she was little that gave you hints?  

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:09 PM

 : )

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:16 PM
3 moms liked this
What makes you think she knew what transgender was? Maybe she just felt like a little girl, and not a boy. Who are you to think it's okay for a child to hide their feelings? We never heard about it in the 80's because people Tried to hide it. It's not that it wasn't happening, it's that no one wanted to discuss it.

Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't even read this post because I think there is to much MEDIA infiltration clogging up kids heads. When I was 11, I didn't know what this is. I BET...if we could send your daughter back in time to grow up in the 80's for example...she wouldn't be thinking this. This shit is ridiculous that kids know about this, are thinking about this and deciding who/what they are at 11. If you as a MOM can't see that she is INFLUENCED then you are crazy. Twenty some years ago...transgender issues would even cross kids' minds.

jj4ij
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:19 PM

 Bump to read later...

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured