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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Mother of a Transgendered Child

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My name is Jennifer, I am 31 years old and the mother of two amazing children. My oldest child is 11 years old and really intelligent. Now, I know parents say that a lot about their children but she really is very smart. She is 11 years old and already taking high school credits and next year she will be taking college credits. She is spunky and has a mind and style all her own. She never follows the crowd and is a trend setter at her school.

My youngest is also just as awesome and unique. My youngest came and sat me down about 2 months ago. Actually, my oldest came to me first and said, "Mom, Erin and I have something that we need to talk to you about." That is when I sat down with my kids and had my youngest tell me, "Mom, I'm a girl." I had no idea what to think at first; you see, Erin had been in fact born Aaron, a boy. Now, I have seen the signs since she was very young but always would tell her that she is a boys and boys don't dress or act that way. When my kids sat me down, however, it hit me. Erin had been confiding in her sister for a while; they would dress up together in private, too afraid to tell me cause Erin did not want to disappoint me. I thought it over for a minute and thought about how I have always told my kids they could be whatever they wanted to be, that I would always love them because I am their mother. I realized I could not be upset, that no matter what, this is still my child; my child I gave birth to and have loved and still love with all my heart and soul.

Ever since Erin has came out to me and people around her, she has been a totally different child; happier and more at peace. Erin used to be an introvert and a troublemaker at home. She would throw tantrums, backtalk, and try to cause self harm, but ever since she has came out to the world, she is very lovable, very well behaved, and has so many friends. I have seen so many people point accusing fingers at me, telling me that somehow this is my fault and that I am crazy for allowing Erin to be herself instead of boy. They did not see the child before the transformation.

I want parents and everyone to think about something before pointing fingers and making accusations. Think about how I said my child was self harming before coming out. It was scary not knowing how to help my child because they felt alone. You can't tell me therapy would have been suffice because I tried therapy and hospitalization, cause I did not know at the time why Erin was self harming. Trust me, nothing worked. But ever since Erin has came out to me and has support now from therapist and me, she has done a total turn around.

As a parent, it is our duty to protect our children and love them forever. It is our duty to nurture them and encourage them. On top of all that, though, it is not our job to tell them what they can or cannot be. We need to help them find their talents and to nurture those talents. Love them unconditionally.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Replies (21-30):
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:58 AM
4 moms liked this

She is a beautiful soul.  I have a close friend who waited 40 years to be who she was (also transgender MtoF).  She feels she missed out on so much, and it breaks my heart.  I am glad you are intelligent and loving enough to know that this is a true disorder of the mind.  If we are born with physical abnormalities, I don't understand why it is so difficult for people to understand that mental abnormalities are just the same.  She is wired to be a woman, those feelings won't just "go away".  You are such an amazing Mom!

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:59 AM
43 moms liked this

My child is transgender as well. Only she is 5. We dealt with the self harm too. It was very scary. She is so much happier now.

by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:59 AM
1 mom liked this

Have you had genetic testing done? Erin totally looks like a girl.

by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:00 AM
12 moms liked this
The fact that you except your childs candidness with you says a lot about your character as a parent. Im glad to read a post like this because it shows everbody is not stupid about it. And i have already has to talk to my kids about teasing my youngest ds. He loves princesses, loves twirly skirts with lots of shimmer, and tappy shoes. He has been known to wear them out in public. I told my other kids this is how logan feels comfortable it is not ok for you to call him names because of it. I love my babies for who they are not for what the sheep of america have deemed they become. As do you:)
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM
8 moms liked this

yes, Erin was born with an extra female chromosone. The Dr. said one in 2000 children are born with this rarity.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:01 AM

Quoting peanutsmommy1:

What a wonderful mom she has, and I applaud you for telling your story and trying to de-stigmatize having a transgendered child

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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this
How old?
I do commend you! You seem like a wonderful mother it's just I guess odd to me that a child that young could make such a drastic life changing choice like that.

Do you know what led to it?
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM
She is adorable!!

How has your family been? I can imagine her being so young, that it may cause more drama.

Quoting PepperWillow:

My child is transgender as well. Only she is 5. We dealt with the self harm too. It was very scary. She is so much happier now.

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by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM
24 moms liked this

I didn't even read this post because I think there is to much MEDIA infiltration clogging up kids heads. When I was 11, I didn't know what this is. I BET...if we could send your daughter back in time to grow up in the 80's for example...she wouldn't be thinking this. This shit is ridiculous that kids know about this, are thinking about this and deciding who/what they are at 11. If you as a MOM can't see that she is INFLUENCED then you are crazy. Twenty some years ago...transgender issues would even cross kids' minds.

by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:03 AM
4 moms liked this
Le sigh.
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