Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Mother of a Transgendered Child

Posted by   + Show Post

Hello!

My name is Jennifer, I am 31 years old and the mother of two amazing children. My oldest child is 11 years old and really intelligent. Now, I know parents say that a lot about their children but she really is very smart. She is 11 years old and already taking high school credits and next year she will be taking college credits. She is spunky and has a mind and style all her own. She never follows the crowd and is a trend setter at her school.

My youngest is also just as awesome and unique. My youngest came and sat me down about 2 months ago. Actually, my oldest came to me first and said, "Mom, Erin and I have something that we need to talk to you about." That is when I sat down with my kids and had my youngest tell me, "Mom, I'm a girl." I had no idea what to think at first; you see, Erin had been in fact born Aaron, a boy. Now, I have seen the signs since she was very young but always would tell her that she is a boys and boys don't dress or act that way. When my kids sat me down, however, it hit me. Erin had been confiding in her sister for a while; they would dress up together in private, too afraid to tell me cause Erin did not want to disappoint me. I thought it over for a minute and thought about how I have always told my kids they could be whatever they wanted to be, that I would always love them because I am their mother. I realized I could not be upset, that no matter what, this is still my child; my child I gave birth to and have loved and still love with all my heart and soul.

Ever since Erin has came out to me and people around her, she has been a totally different child; happier and more at peace. Erin used to be an introvert and a troublemaker at home. She would throw tantrums, backtalk, and try to cause self harm, but ever since she has came out to the world, she is very lovable, very well behaved, and has so many friends. I have seen so many people point accusing fingers at me, telling me that somehow this is my fault and that I am crazy for allowing Erin to be herself instead of boy. They did not see the child before the transformation.

I want parents and everyone to think about something before pointing fingers and making accusations. Think about how I said my child was self harming before coming out. It was scary not knowing how to help my child because they felt alone. You can't tell me therapy would have been suffice because I tried therapy and hospitalization, cause I did not know at the time why Erin was self harming. Trust me, nothing worked. But ever since Erin has came out to me and has support now from therapist and me, she has done a total turn around.

As a parent, it is our duty to protect our children and love them forever. It is our duty to nurture them and encourage them. On top of all that, though, it is not our job to tell them what they can or cannot be. We need to help them find their talents and to nurture those talents. Love them unconditionally.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Replies (671-680):
workingmomtoo
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:22 PM
2 moms liked this
So ignorant, Anonymous. Did you ever think maybe 20 years ago, children just knew they were different but too scared to come forward or their PARENTS were to scared to allow them to be who they knew they were?? We are progressing SLOWLY as a society and beginning to understand it is not a choice. Ask any transgender who grew up in the 80'sl or before. I bet they will tell you their childhood was miserable because they knew who they were, yet not allowed to live it. My 6yo dd loves to play dress up with my 3yo ds. He has done it because he enjoys the attention. However, he is starting to tell her he doesn't want to-he wants to be a boy, etc. I, nor his father, have ever said anything about this play because we know he is who he is and playing dress up would not "turn" him gay or transgender. If he is, he is. As he grows, he is making his own decision to be a boy (much to the dismay of my dd-lol). Erin fid not "decide" to be a girl because of what she was exposed to. Open your mind and READ the article and then make your decision. Hopefully it won't be quite as foolish as your original decision.


Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't even read this post because I think there is to much MEDIA infiltration clogging up kids heads. When I was 11, I didn't know what this is. I BET...if we could send your daughter back in time to grow up in the 80's for example...she wouldn't be thinking this. This shit is ridiculous that kids know about this, are thinking about this and deciding who/what they are at 11. If you as a MOM can't see that she is INFLUENCED then you are crazy. Twenty some years ago...transgender issues would even cross kids' minds.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Marath03
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this


Good for you!!!  It's good to see someone on here who is using God as an example for good and not as a threat!

Quoting LadyMarissa:

God doesn't make mistakes; however, nature does!!!  God blessed you with Erin because He knew you would love her unconditionally no matter her gender.  I hope Erin understands how blessed she is to have you for a Mother!!!  My hat is off to you for handling this with the love of a true & loving Mother...unconditionally!!!  The fact that your other daughter knew they could come to & talk truthfully to you says volumes!!!  BOTH your girls look very happy & content in themselves!!!



mel4him
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this

John 8:42-47


42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. 43 Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. 44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. 45 But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me. 46 Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me? 47 He who is of God hears God’s words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 83 on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:23 PM
Don't let anyone tell you this stuff is ok. The world is going straight to hell with this corrupt garbage. There need to be more men in these boys lives. Some parents should be sterilized.

Quoting Anonymous:

I totally agree and it's a shame that more people cater to the foolishness of this instead of being honest. It's the filthy mother buffoons who want to call you names instead of protecting children.



Quoting Marath03:


Haha this is a joke right? Right? Cause this is just too freakin hilarious to be real. Maybe you need an exorcism. No one thinks this way anymore. This country is becoming more and more open to the transgendered, lesbian, gay, bi etc. community. 



Quoting Anonymous:

Does she or he or it have a penis?? Well if the answer is yes then she has been watching to much of that MTD and the music that's played on it like Lady GaGa and Madonna and Britney kissing each other on the music awards...20 years ago this would have never happened because there would not be all this crap ruining these poor kids mind....now you better get a handle on this A.S.A.P a good old fashioned spanking is what I would recommended you do....do NOT listen to these other woman on her...listen to me...I care about your child and the life of hell they will have to live...you must show her discipline and no better way to do it then how they did it when I was a little girl growing up....take it from grandma here ....these other ladies on this site are to young to give you guidance they have grown up in the days of the devil.....here is what you must do to rid your child from SATAN!!!! Take her in the room and give her a good spanking, get to your church this Sunday and if you don't attend one then make sure to find your nearest Catholic church, take away all the televisions in the house and I am not sure if she has been possessed by the devil so you might want to have a exorcism done.AND PRAY, PRAY PRAY!!!





Pooobaihr
by Platinum Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:25 PM
3 moms liked this
She doesn't need those hormones. Erin has an extra X chromosome, so she grows breasts naturally. She may also have an ovary.

Quoting Anonymous:

So how is this going to work in school since anatomically, Erin is male? They will make her go to male gym class and male bathrooms. Are you going to get her on breast growing hormones and have gender reassignment surgery? Are her peers just as accepting?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommieJJ03
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I get your point


Quoting DieMyDarling:

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying u would kick someone's ass if u truly mean it lol. I'm sure she'd never speak to anyone like that in person...where as I represent myself accurately online. I will and have kicked bully butt.




Quoting mommieJJ03:

You know what it does piss me off, and make me sick. I have three kids I love them dearly no matter what I don't bash kids and I pray others wouldn't either but we don't live in that world. Sad but true. My only point was there has got to be some other way we speak to the hateful ignorant bigots. Other than threats






Quoting DieMyDarling:

I'd totally be down for meeting her in real life to do so. Really, there are only 3 things that anger me to that level and its people who mess with children, my family, and my money. I hate bullies, I am not a bully, but i can defend myself and never just stand idly by if someone is being treated badly/bullied. If you could see 90% of my posts I think you'd get a better idea of how kind I actually can be and am. But I'm sorry, I cannot stand people who bully (especially!!) children and other women. It's infuriating and I wasn't just addressing her calling me a bad parent, she said I should take the mothers sons balls he's not going to use. Does that not disgust you? Does it not upset you that she would speak about them like that? I know hate doesn't drive out hate, but sometimes people are so dumb they need a good ass whopping to learn how to shut up and keep horrible things like that to themselves. God help us if there comes a day when everyone gets so passive that they won't even stand up for someone being unjustly hated on. It's one thing to be a lover, it's another thing to do nothing.








Quoting mommieJJ03:

You are who you are and we are adults.....but really




knocking someone's teeth out for calling you a bad parent, that is just useless plus it's the internet no one takes threats seriously. Now it will be ok, your right about that have a good day.










Quoting DieMyDarling:

*yawn*











It says plenty about me. It says ill get foul mouthed with someone if they call me a bad parent for supporting a transgendered child and their mother. I'd do more, too. That person couldn't get on my level if her life depended on it. People yell and say bad words in real life, it's going to be okay.












Quoting mommieJJ03:

The fact that you have actually resorted to using such






hateful language doesn't say much about you. Whenever someone is ignorant or spiteful it does nothing to get in their level.














Quoting DieMyDarling:

Hey bitch, I have plenty of spine. In the real world if u said that to my face I'd knock your teeth out. You're the one bashing children online. I'm a fantastic mother so you can take your hate and shove it up your pathetic Internet bullying ass. I'm not a yes man to anyone and if you knew me in real life it'd be obvious at first glance. Now go try to insult someone who cares, and I say try because I don't take a damn thing an ignorant hateful bitch that hates on children and mothers has to say seriously.







Losers like you are a dime a dozen. I'm bored with you...run back to the hell you live in, I'm going to get back to my awesome life filled with positivity and love and happiness. You're disgusting, congrats on being ugly on the inside,
















Quoting Anonymous:

 at least my kids live in the real world and not Narnia...I have the balls to guide and parent my kids...maybe you should take the balls her SON  is obviously  never going to use and use them to be a parent, not a yes-man


















Quoting DieMyDarling:

I know right?! They don't even have enough pride in their hateful convictions to use their damn screen names. *eye roll* spineless bitches, fuck em. I feel sorry for their children.










Quoting ProudMommy51006:

All of you anons are pieces of work. Let me tell ya











Quoting Anonymous:

Blah, blah, blah.













Quoting ProudMommy51006:

Everything in life isn't always black and white. It's not always as easy as, a penis. There is so much more that goes into gender than a body part. Chromosomes, hormones, etc.















Quoting Anonymous:

If the boy is born with a penis he is a boy PERIOD.






















 









Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Because they are scared of being called "intolerant". These people are delusional. I agree it is very irresponsible and I honestly think half the reason this mom did this is for the praise that she will get for being "supportive" and "strong" and "tolerant". Oh please.

Quoting Anonymous:

Prove it scientist. You can call me what you want but that little boy is gonna catch more he'll and torture beyond what you say about me and there is no one that can save him from that. It is irresponsible and there is no one on the planet who can say so. Any child, especially 11, can not make their own choices. Why is everyone denying the facts?

Quoting Anonymous:

Its in the childs genes. DO YOU PEOPLE JUST NOT UNDERSTAND THE WAY THE BODY WORKS?!



Ridiculous. You are a fucking moron!



Quoting Anonymous:

This is just sad. I cry for your son. My heart bleeds for your son. People here are too dishonest to say that what you have allowed is irresponsible. When your son grows an Adams apple then what? I think some of you are. Too scared to say her son needs a good male role model. Where is his father? Is everyone here drunk?


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 85 on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:28 PM
3 moms liked this
These children are born with an extra FEMALE chromosome.

Their is so many children who go through this life that no one ever even knows! People have surgery. Take hormones or testosterone, which will help the voice change, hair grow or not grow.

No one will probably ever even know this girl Erin was ever even born as a male! If she learns how to tuck her penis before surgery too, she'll be fine.

If someone dresses and acts like a girl, how would you know what genitals they have?

Quoting Anonymous:

Prove it scientist. You can call me what you want but that little boy is gonna catch more he'll and torture beyond what you say about me and there is no one that can save him from that. It is irresponsible and there is no one on the planet who can say so. Any child, especially 11, can not make their own choices. Why is everyone denying the facts?



Quoting Anonymous:

Its in the childs genes. DO YOU PEOPLE JUST NOT UNDERSTAND THE WAY THE BODY WORKS?!





Ridiculous. You are a fucking moron!





Quoting Anonymous:

This is just sad. I cry for your son. My heart bleeds for your son. People here are too dishonest to say that what you have allowed is irresponsible. When your son grows an Adams apple then what? I think some of you are. Too scared to say her son needs a good male role model. Where is his father? Is everyone here drunk?
workingmomtoo
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow. I feel sorry for all of your future patients you are going to eff up. You need to stay in school a bit longer. As a "professional", you would really tell this mother to force her child to be something they are not? Do you suggest "pray the gay away" therapy, too. I am scared for your patients. Promise me you will stay far away from LGBT community.


Quoting Anonymous:

As a psychology major( I graduate this semester), I would advise you at that age- you are REALLY fucking that child up. Even though your intentions are good, you really are setting that kid up for a huge reality check in the future.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mel4him
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:33 PM
1 mom liked this

The child is still a boy. This mom needs to speak to her son's doctor and have them treat the condition, not allow him to dress as a girl.

The appearance of an extra (or even more) X chromosome in males is known as Klinefelter syndrome. Symptoms include learning disabilities, problems with impulse control, lower levels of testosterone than the average male, and infertility. This abnormality occurs in about 1 in 700 boys.

Quoting Pooobaihr:

She doesn't need those hormones. Erin has an extra X chromosome, so she grows breasts naturally. She may also have an ovary.

Quoting Anonymous:

So how is this going to work in school since anatomically, Erin is male? They will make her go to male gym class and male bathrooms. Are you going to get her on breast growing hormones and have gender reassignment surgery? Are her peers just as accepting?


John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN