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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

what do i say?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

a friend owes me about $500. he talks about it constantly too-- telling me that he'll pay me as soon as he can, etc.

i'm not stressed about it. if he feels obligated to pay me, then pay. if not, then dont. when i gave the money up, i gave it with no strings attached- not expecting money back in return.

but he KEEPS talking about it, telling me that he feels bad that he owes me money, that he'll pay me soon, etc... but at the same time, he's putting $150/week away in his savings.

i tell him, dont worry about it. i dont care for the money- just focus on yourself... but right now, i'm getting frustrated with him bringing it up, even after i tell him not to worry about it.

he hasnt paid me anything since the beginning of Dec (again- i dont care about the money, but if he feels he's in debt to me, i wont turn it away)... i dont ask him for the money-- and i tell him to NOT worry about it.

how else can i tell him to not stress on it? i mean, if he feels obligated to pay, or wants to pay- then do so whenever he can. dont constantly bring it up cuz its never in my mind like that. when he does bring it up, i get a little flustered b/c he'll say that he's saving and in my mind, i think 'if you really cared, you'd put at least $50 in for me, to repay me'.... but any other time, it doesnt matter to me.



(only reason i bring it up now, is b/c he texted me saying that he feels bad about how much he owes me)

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Then say stop feeling bad and pay it back
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:21 PM

Well, obviously he cares deeply about this debt... if he really wants to pay you back, then set up an easy payment plan for him so he can pay you back and won't continue stressing it to you... at least that's what I would do! 

deenakate
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:21 PM
I never loan money I give it. I never put that wedge between a friendship.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:21 PM
That would be annoying. I have no advice. If he wanted to pay you back so badly that money going into savings would go to you until you're repaid.
brittany208
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:22 PM

Just say--well why don't we set up some kind of payment plan? give me 50$ a week (or whatever) and you'll have it paid off in no time! I bet he doesn't really want to pay you, he is just acting like he wants to. BUT he needs to. its the right thing to do--especially if he has money to put into savings. So if you have an agreement, he can know that he is doing something, even if he can't do everything right now. Then hopefully he won't have to talk about it anymore. Bc there wont be anything to say.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:22 PM
I "lent" my friend $150. I knew I would never see it. She doesn't talk about it either. Lol. I won't ask her for it.
eesmommy
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:22 PM
Tell him if he is so stressed about it why not the two of you work out a payment plan... $5 a week would at least ease his mind.
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Stephd710
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:23 PM

Say "Look, youre stressing me out yo.  If you feel that bad, then ok, I'll take the money, if you dont want to or cant pay me then shut up about it!" 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

same here. i GAVE it to him. he needed to have his car fixed- his only livelihood to get to work (the buildings arent on the busline) so i gave him the money for him to fix his car. i know he hates being in debt to people, but i also know his position- at the time, he had a ton of debt, still paying off his parents who refused to help, etc. a couple months after i gave it to him, he started giving me money- $20 here and there, etc.. i'd ask why and he said to pay me back. i asked if he was sure, that he can just use it for himself- save up and stuff... but he insisted i keep it, sometimes just leaving it on the counter when he'd leave.

i just wish he understood that the money isnt expected to be repaid.

Quoting deenakate:

I never loan money I give it. I never put that wedge between a friendship.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:28 PM

he started paying months ago. last time was in Dec- but then he didnt have as many hours at work, then christmas happened... his reasons why he wasnt paying me back. i'm actually really happy that he's got a savings set up! its about time! i've been telling him to do that for 4 years now! lol the money that he did repay me, its actually just sitting in an envelope and i plan on giving it back to him- or seeing if he'll accept it. he needs it more than me.

Quoting brittany208:

Just say--well why don't we set up some kind of payment plan? give me 50$ a week (or whatever) and you'll have it paid off in no time! I bet he doesn't really want to pay you, he is just acting like he wants to. BUT he needs to. its the right thing to do--especially if he has money to put into savings. So if you have an agreement, he can know that he is doing something, even if he can't do everything right now. Then hopefully he won't have to talk about it anymore. Bc there wont be anything to say.


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