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Two condoms

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Two condoms walk by a gay bar. One turns to the other and says, "hey. Do you wanna get shit faced?"

Share some dirty jokes.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:55 AM
Replies (11-19):
2metalbabies
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:22 AM
1 mom liked this
I only know racist jokes.

What's the difference between Michael phelps and hitler?


















Only one can finish a race.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommamaggi
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:22 AM
3 moms liked this

Mommy whale and baby whale are swimming along happily when all of a sudden the mommy is killed by a whaling ship's harpoon (super sad face).

Baby whale vows that from that day on, every boat he sees he will tip over, and eat all the sailors aboard.

Several years go by and the baby whale is all groweded up, out for a swim with his new wifey whale when all of a sudden he spots a ship just over the horizon.

He tells his wifey whale he wants to tip the ship in memory of his mother so she reluctantly agrees because she love him and shit.

So they swim under the ship and blow really really hard from their blow holes and tip the ship.

He looks at his wife and says, "Great work honey! Now lets go eat all the sailors!"

She says, "Oh no motherfucker, you got me to do the blow job, but I will NOT swallow the seamen". 

barrelracer1699
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:24 AM

A NY woman says she is taking a vacation to TX. She says she wants to watch a real rodeo, take in some real BBQ, and have sex with a real cowboy. She comes back home and all her girlfriends start asking questions.

She says "The rodeo was so awesome, these men jump off the back of a horse running full speed on to a cows back. Then they throw the cow to the ground. The BBQ was so delicious and smelled amazing. It was cooked with a tree called mesquite." She went quite as the other girls gossiped about rodeo and BBQ. Finally someone asked "How about the sex with a cowboy? How was that?" The girl then proceed with "I didn't do that, after seeing the size of the condoms in their back pocket, NO WAY."

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:33 AM
God takes a stroll through the Garden of Eden and runs into Adam. They trade small talk for a few minutes before God asks where Eve is. Adam informs him that she is swimming in the stream. God replies, "we'll never get that smell off the fish."
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Two guys are talking about what they got their wives for Christmas. The First Guy says "I got my wife a lexus, and a diamond tennis bracelet" And the Second guy says why would you get her that? So the guy says "Well if she doesn't like the tennis bracelet she can drive the mercedes?" Okay I'm curious, what did you get your wife? The second man says "I got her a dildo and a snow blower" So the first Guy laughs and asks "Why would you get her that?" So the Man replies "When if she's not in the mood to blow she can go fuck herself"

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/
sweetieiv
by Ruby Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:49 AM
2 moms liked this
I hate to be the party pooper and all but umm I don't get it lol. Can you please explain?


Quoting barrelracer1699:

A NY woman says she is taking a vacation to TX. She says she wants to watch a real rodeo, take in some real BBQ, and have sex with a real cowboy. She comes back home and all her girlfriends start asking questions.


She says "The rodeo was so awesome, these men jump off the back of a horse running full speed on to a cows back. Then they throw the cow to the ground. The BBQ was so delicious and smelled amazing. It was cooked with a tree called mesquite." She went quite as the other girls gossiped about rodeo and BBQ. Finally someone asked "How about the sex with a cowboy? How was that?" The girl then proceed with "I didn't do that, after seeing the size of the condoms in their back pocket, NO WAY."


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
barrelracer1699
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:33 AM

 

The Skoal Can ring. Most people who chew put their chew in the back pocket and makes the "ring"

Quoting sweetieiv:

I hate to be the party pooper and all but umm I don't get it lol. Can you please explain?


Quoting barrelracer1699:

A NY woman says she is taking a vacation to TX. She says she wants to watch a real rodeo, take in some real BBQ, and have sex with a real cowboy. She comes back home and all her girlfriends start asking questions.


She says "The rodeo was so awesome, these men jump off the back of a horse running full speed on to a cows back. Then they throw the cow to the ground. The BBQ was so delicious and smelled amazing. It was cooked with a tree called mesquite." She went quite as the other girls gossiped about rodeo and BBQ. Finally someone asked "How about the sex with a cowboy? How was that?" The girl then proceed with "I didn't do that, after seeing the size of the condoms in their back pocket, NO WAY."



 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:39 AM

That does a gay guy and farmer have in common?



they both have shit on there rubbers.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:40 AM

It's a good idea to use condoms if you have a poo poo eating thing.....eating poop.  

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