hes never totally gotten over it, he was devastated and angry, very very angry. he wanted and loved that baby and he always felt robbed of his chance to have his child. before she self aborted, he offered to take the baby and raise it alone. she refused.
well he always wondered if it was a boy or girl, what s/he wouldve looked like, been like, things like that, things a parent naturally wonders about a child they never got to meet.
well we were taking a nap today and when we woke up he started crying, i asked him what was wrong and he said "nothings wrong, im just happy, i saw my first baby in a dream, she was so beautiful."
he told me how the dream went, and it was very sweet. but he said he couldnt remember her name, she told him but it had slipped his mind because he was just so happy to see her.
i had a hunch i knew what her name was, i geuss out of instinct, but i just really felt like her name was Alana. but i didnt tell him what i thought it was because i didnt want to jeopardize the chance of the memory coming back to him. you know like if you mention some thing it blocks out some thing else, i didnt want that to happen.
well after a while he said "i remember now, she said her name was alana"...my eyes got huge and my mouth literally fell open. I KNEW HER NAME!!! i swear neither of us has ever discussed the name Alana before, we know no one named Alana. it just came to me, out of the blue.
do you think it means anything? we believe this was Alanas way of letting him know shes ok and is watching out after him.