Really,really need to vent. Warning. Lots of bad words.
And everyone I know is asleep so lucky you!!!
So my husband and I are seperated right now. We're talking about working things out, sometimes things are good, a lot of times they aren't. I'm not actually sure why we don't just throw in the towel... Maybe holding out hope that when he gets a better job he'll be happier. So in the meantime I have our daughters full time, I work, and I go to school full time. He works about 35 hours of graveyard a week. He's hoping to get rehired with his old job which would be fantastic but it hasn't happened yet. Our daughters spent the night at his place tonight and the plan was for me to come down after work and spend the night as well. Well someone asked me to cover their shift and since I am really trying to get out of debt and get a nice chunk of money saved up I said yes. Well apparently this means that I don't care about my family at all and I obviously don't care about fixing my relationship. How fucking dare I pick up a shift at work? He didn't seem to mind me working extra hours when he stayed home for the last year and a half pretending that he was working on his degree, but was actually playing fucking Zelda while my poor daughters babysat themselves all day while I was at work. No- he was just fine with me woking extra then, but if he has to watch the girls overnight alone- well heaven forbid that I try to make a little extra money. Oh and I worked late tonight for someone. I worked late and I'm coming in on my day off. How do I even sleep at night? Well at least when my daughters sleep at night they have pajamas and beds and blankets- none of which he contributed to. Why the fuck am I even keepig up this charade of wanting to work it out with this asshole? In 5 months he's given me $200 to help with our children. $200. Give me a fucking break. But he can buy fucking dvd's and cookies. Do you know the last time I had a fucking cookie? I'd really like one dammit.
Shit. SOrry for rambling there but I needed to get that out. I feel a little better now, but I'll probably feel loads better when I finally make the decision to divorce the son of a bitch.