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Send your kid to daycare he said...ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My sons pedi advised us to send our LO to daycare so he can develop social skills. He was 13 months at the time. I feel like I'm depriving him of that but everyone around me says he is doing great and is best at home with me. We are living comfortably enough for me to stay home with my LO and I want to know how many mamas did NOT send their children to daycare or anything of that sort and had kids with fine social skills. Should add he does not have any cousins and is the first born of his generation. We're waiting on family to bring more kids into the family.



ETA: I looked into some of the options mothers gave. The local YMCA closed in may of 2012 here, and our library does have story time. I found a Montessori play group, and contacted them. I had no idea this post would become featured. It's going to take me a while to reply but thank to you all of you mamas who remained respectful.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:44 AM
Replies (821-830):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 106 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:41 PM

My children never went to daycare, but I, too, was criticized for NOT sending them!  By their school (public).  However, they are now 14 and 12 years old and I do NOT regret my choice.  My 14 year old does have social issues, but is Asperger .... daycare wouldn't have helped - and probably I would have dealt with their throwing him out, or their calling me in all the time for issues.  Don't need that.  Anyhow - he does have maturity and social skills that lag, but otherwise, is EXTREMELY intelligent - this is NOT just "mom saying so", nor intelligent for a kid with special needs ... no, I mean in multiple honors classes in school, hardly studies, can memorize like crazy, had lead roles in school plays, plays in the school orchestra and sings in chorus and the ensemble chorus.   My younger son is doing very well - NO social problems at all, he's the sweetest kid ever, and also does well in school and is very mechanical (can build things very well) and also plays in the school band and orchestra.   Never in daycare.   Dear mama, look into your heart and you will find the answer - if you don't want your LO in daycare, don't do it.  If you see a reason to do so, then do so.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 98 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:00 PM

And this whole idea of kids having to be "ready" for being in a classroom to be "able" to go to Kindergarten, brings up a whole different bag of beans. Isn't (or wasn't it supposed to be) the whole concept of Kindergarten to prepare kids to be ready for classroom learning in 1st grade?!?!?! What happened to that? I some European countries, there are 2 or 3 years of Kindergarten, to get them ready by 1st grade.

So there comes preschool, so now you (and some others) are saying you have to send your BABY to daycare to prepare them for preschool?!?!?!?! What's next, prepare the embryo for class? 

Seriously, the whole thing is just ridiculous! Daycare was invented for parents who need others to watch their kids while they go to work, and don't have the financial means to pay for a private caregiver. Daycare is not a school, nor is it a preparation for school! At best, your baby will be fed and kept safe by total strangers while at daycare, and you pay good money for it too.

There have been numerous studies that show that babies and toddlers thrive best (in all aspects, including social) when they can stay home with mom. Now, am I bashing mothers who drop their babies off at daycare because they have to work? No, of course not! Times are tough, and we all have to do what's best to care for our families the best we can. But if you don't have to, advising to put your baby in daycare to prepare him or her for school? That's a joke!!!!!!!!!!


Quoting luckystars2012:

No, I said that children who enter kinder without any experience in a classroom social setting ate mire likely to have big issues socially in that setting. Which is true. Whether a kid gets the experience from daycare, preK, weekly art classes at the Y, whatever- the experience is still important.

You can stand by what you said all you want. Since you have no experience in the subject, what you said doesn't really have any value.



mermaid13dragon
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:01 PM

OK, if not daycare, then some sort of class. You know, baby swimming, baby gymnastics etc so he can be around other children....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 107 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:06 PM

I have never bought that whole idea that they need daycare to learn socialization.  You are there with your child, they are learning.  My kids did not go and are fine.  It is up to you of course but I have never seen the need.  Every child I've ever known who has not gone to daycare has done just fine.  I've seen several examples of the opposite though.  I've known many children who have gone to daycare and are some of the most rude and obnoxious children I've ever met.

Millertime77
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Well my son goes to daycare because we cannot afford for either one of us to stay home-I only wished I could.  so-lucky you!! In our town, there is a "Moms as an occupation" club.  Are there any of those in your area or surround areas?  because a mother I know belongs to that group and they have weekly playgroups for the kids.  you might want to research one of those-or even create a group for your area.  Good luck momma! :)

Scottishbrat33
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:30 PM
  1. l never sent my kids to daycare.I did what you are doing going to play groups .It's a great way to make friends.I also took my youngest to classes at the Girls club.Your little one is so young.These other things are fun to do but the precious time with your baby is gonna fly like the wind.Try to balance the activties aganst the time you have with your son.These are years you will cherish.I say these things because I look at my childern and I wonder where the time went. Good Luck
Anonymous
by Anonymous 108 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Todays kinder isn't like.it was 40 years ago. My dds kinder class is learning DIVISION, for crying out loud. There is a whole list of criteria they have to be able to do by the end of k or they don't go to first grade.



It's not a bag of beans. A bag of beans is throwing your kid who has never been in a classroom social setting into a school that to them is massive and saying "ok, go to school". I see it almost daily when I'm in my dds classroom, these kids who have no.idea how to act or handle the 10-15 kids they are suddenly surrounded by for hours at a time. The school year is more than.half over and some of these kids are just now beginning to adjust.



It doesn't have to be daycare, but kids.need social classroom setting experience before starting regular school.



Quoting Anonymous:

And this whole idea of kids having to be "ready" for being in a classroom to be "able" to go to Kindergarten, brings up a whole different bag of beans. Isn't (or wasn't it supposed to be) the whole concept of Kindergarten to prepare kids to be ready for classroom learning in 1st grade?!?!?! What happened to that? I some European countries, there are 2 or 3 years of Kindergarten, to get them ready by 1st grade.

So there comes preschool, so now you (and some others) are saying you have to send your BABY to daycare to prepare them for preschool?!?!?!?! What's next, prepare the embryo for class? 

Seriously, the whole thing is just ridiculous! Daycare was invented for parents who need others to watch their kids while they go to work, and don't have the financial means to pay for a private caregiver. Daycare is not a school, nor is it a preparation for school! At best, your baby will be fed and kept safe by total strangers while at daycare, and you pay good money for it too.

There have been numerous studies that show that babies and toddlers thrive best (in all aspects, including social) when they can stay home with mom. Now, am I bashing mothers who drop their babies off at daycare because they have to work? No, of course not! Times are tough, and we all have to do what's best to care for our families the best we can. But if you don't have to, advising to put your baby in daycare to prepare him or her for school? That's a joke!!!!!!!!!!




Quoting luckystars2012:

No, I said that children who enter kinder without any experience in a classroom social setting ate mire likely to have big issues socially in that setting. Which is true. Whether a kid gets the experience from daycare, preK, weekly art classes at the Y, whatever- the experience is still important.





You can stand by what you said all you want. Since you have no experience in the subject, what you said doesn't really have any value.









Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
HOTMOMMY2
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:12 PM

I would say any story time and playgroups.  Mommy and me time.  If there is a headstart in your area they may be albe to help you find some groups to join.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 98 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:55 PM

Another good reason to homeschool and let your kids be kids and grow up at their own pace, without rushing them! It seems like parents can't wait to get their kids out of their house! The sooner the better. If you don't want children around, don't have children!


Quoting Anonymous:

Todays kinder isn't like.it was 40 years ago. My dds kinder class is learning DIVISION, for crying out loud. There is a whole list of criteria they have to be able to do by the end of k or they don't go to first grade.



It's not a bag of beans. A bag of beans is throwing your kid who has never been in a classroom social setting into a school that to them is massive and saying "ok, go to school". I see it almost daily when I'm in my dds classroom, these kids who have no.idea how to act or handle the 10-15 kids they are suddenly surrounded by for hours at a time. The school year is more than.half over and some of these kids are just now beginning to adjust.



It doesn't have to be daycare, but kids.need social classroom setting experience before starting regular school.



Quoting Anonymous:

And this whole idea of kids having to be "ready" for being in a classroom to be "able" to go to Kindergarten, brings up a whole different bag of beans. Isn't (or wasn't it supposed to be) the whole concept of Kindergarten to prepare kids to be ready for classroom learning in 1st grade?!?!?! What happened to that? I some European countries, there are 2 or 3 years of Kindergarten, to get them ready by 1st grade.

So there comes preschool, so now you (and some others) are saying you have to send your BABY to daycare to prepare them for preschool?!?!?!?! What's next, prepare the embryo for class? 

Seriously, the whole thing is just ridiculous! Daycare was invented for parents who need others to watch their kids while they go to work, and don't have the financial means to pay for a private caregiver. Daycare is not a school, nor is it a preparation for school! At best, your baby will be fed and kept safe by total strangers while at daycare, and you pay good money for it too.

There have been numerous studies that show that babies and toddlers thrive best (in all aspects, including social) when they can stay home with mom. Now, am I bashing mothers who drop their babies off at daycare because they have to work? No, of course not! Times are tough, and we all have to do what's best to care for our families the best we can. But if you don't have to, advising to put your baby in daycare to prepare him or her for school? That's a joke!!!!!!!!!!




Quoting luckystars2012:

No, I said that children who enter kinder without any experience in a classroom social setting ate mire likely to have big issues socially in that setting. Which is true. Whether a kid gets the experience from daycare, preK, weekly art classes at the Y, whatever- the experience is still important.





You can stand by what you said all you want. Since you have no experience in the subject, what you said doesn't really have any value.











luckystars2012
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:12 PM
Sure, if you wAnt your kids to be behind socially and academically,by all means intentionally teach them less than what they need to learn. This is not 1950. People need a wider and broader set of skills in order successfully compete in today's adult world, and that starts with a good solid education. it has nothing to do with not wanting children ( which, bybthe way, is one of most ignorant things I've seen on cm in awhile) and everything to do with loving your children enough to make sure they get a great education that will make them valuable in today's world-not a half assed circa 1980 education that will leave them flipping burgers.


Quoting Anonymous:

Another good reason to homeschool and let your kids be kids and grow up at their own pace, without rushing them! It seems like parents can't wait to get their kids out of their house! The sooner the better. If you don't want children around, don't have children!



Quoting Anonymous:

Todays kinder isn't like.it was 40 years ago. My dds kinder class is learning DIVISION, for crying out loud. There is a whole list of criteria they have to be able to do by the end of k or they don't go to first grade.





It's not a bag of beans. A bag of beans is throwing your kid who has never been in a classroom social setting into a school that to them is massive and saying "ok, go to school". I see it almost daily when I'm in my dds classroom, these kids who have no.idea how to act or handle the 10-15 kids they are suddenly surrounded by for hours at a time. The school year is more than.half over and some of these kids are just now beginning to adjust.





It doesn't have to be daycare, but kids.need social classroom setting experience before starting regular school.






Quoting Anonymous:

And this whole idea of kids having to be "ready" for being in a classroom to be "able" to go to Kindergarten, brings up a whole different bag of beans. Isn't (or wasn't it supposed to be) the whole concept of Kindergarten to prepare kids to be ready for classroom learning in 1st grade?!?!?! What happened to that? I some European countries, there are 2 or 3 years of Kindergarten, to get them ready by 1st grade.

So there comes preschool, so now you (and some others) are saying you have to send your BABY to daycare to prepare them for preschool?!?!?!?! What's next, prepare the embryo for class? 

Seriously, the whole thing is just ridiculous! Daycare was invented for parents who need others to watch their kids while they go to work, and don't have the financial means to pay for a private caregiver. Daycare is not a school, nor is it a preparation for school! At best, your baby will be fed and kept safe by total strangers while at daycare, and you pay good money for it too.

There have been numerous studies that show that babies and toddlers thrive best (in all aspects, including social) when they can stay home with mom. Now, am I bashing mothers who drop their babies off at daycare because they have to work? No, of course not! Times are tough, and we all have to do what's best to care for our families the best we can. But if you don't have to, advising to put your baby in daycare to prepare him or her for school? That's a joke!!!!!!!!!!





Quoting luckystars2012:

No, I said that children who enter kinder without any experience in a classroom social setting ate mire likely to have big issues socially in that setting. Which is true. Whether a kid gets the experience from daycare, preK, weekly art classes at the Y, whatever- the experience is still important.







You can stand by what you said all you want. Since you have no experience in the subject, what you said doesn't really have any value.
















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