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Send your kid to daycare he said...ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My sons pedi advised us to send our LO to daycare so he can develop social skills. He was 13 months at the time. I feel like I'm depriving him of that but everyone around me says he is doing great and is best at home with me. We are living comfortably enough for me to stay home with my LO and I want to know how many mamas did NOT send their children to daycare or anything of that sort and had kids with fine social skills. Should add he does not have any cousins and is the first born of his generation. We're waiting on family to bring more kids into the family.

ETA: I looked into some of the options mothers gave. The local YMCA closed in may of 2012 here, and our library does have story time. I found a Montessori play group, and contacted them. I had no idea this post would become featured. It's going to take me a while to reply but thank to you all of you mamas who remained respectful.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2013 at 3:44 AM
Replies (851-860):
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:09 PM

I have 3 children: 9, 5 and 9mos. None of them have ever been in daycare. My mother-in-law actually critized me when my oldest was little for not having them in daycare because of the socialization. It's absolute nonsense. Kids who stay home with their mothers have a sense of confidence and security that you just don't see in kids who have been at a sitter/daycare. I have even had teachers say they can tell when kids have stayed home with parents because they are more secure in themselves. You are absolutely right to stay home with your baby if you're able. They grow up so fast, you don't want to miss a moment! Imagine them taking their first steps at a sitter, or sitting up for the first time. We ship them off to school soon enough in this country, keep them close while you can! BTW, I would get a new doctor. First of all, he's absolutely wrong; second, it's none of his business if you stay home with your baby.

by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:19 PM

The state? lol didnt know you spoke for a state, must be why you hide behind your anon button.  Silly girl, nothing Ive said has been fake.  I still have not once said that daycare in itself is essential, but socialization? Yes, even for a 13 month old, socialization is incredibly important, and the more the better. "waiting for family members to bring more kids into the family" is nowhere near good enough.  But hey, by all means, hide behind your fake degree and your anon button and set your child back.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh please the state disagrees with you hence my degree and experience. This was about a THIRTEEN month old, he is nowhere near grade school age. That is why I was thoroughly wondering what was my pedi even thinking. I feel sorry for your family, people like you who have attitudes that you're just so right and have your I am all mindset in fact have problems. I pray your daughter becomes nothing like you. Seeing the obvious, does a 13 month old need daycare to going and ranting about a fake fact. I took courses and graduated them that state the opposite of your opinion. I'm sorry you have insecurities about not staying home but you totally took this post and twisted it. You think you know more than a child psychologist. You don't wont and that's why you look ridiculous .

Quoting luckystars2012:

No, its not just my opinion.  It is a plain and simple fact that kids who do not have  good socialization before kindergarten are much more likely to have a hard time adjusting to kindergarten.  You are absolutely 100% ignorant and shouldnt even be allowed near children if you really cant see how shocking it is for a child to go from hanging our with mommy all day and the occasional playdate or storygroup, to suddenly being with 15 other kids in a huge new building with strange adults all day every day.  

As for the rest, it was more of your chihuahua sounding baseless garbage.  Does your mommy know you are playing on the internet again?  Its probably past your bedtime.


"Lots of children spend the majority of their day in daycare from six weeks up to five years of age. This means that these children really get to interact with other kids and adults of all ages as well as become accustomed to spending the day with one set of people and the afternoons and night with their parents. As a result day care has some definite benefits for the child who is about to start kindergarten.

Learning how to socialize can be difficult for some children who are used to being with mommy or daddy all day long and are not accustomed to sharing or playing with other kids. However, those kids who attend daycare all day long quickly learn what sharing means and that playing with other kids can be a whole lot of fun. As a result these children develop friendships and enjoy spending time with them. This means kids have a social life all their own and appreciate developing these skills and a set of friends they can talk to and play with.

Kids who do not attend daycare before kindergarten may not develop friendships as easily and may be more introverted. They may have a hard time transitioning from play with mommy and daddy to play with several children of the same age. Because of this daycare before preschool, even if it is just a couple a days per week can really prepare your child socially for kindergarten."


"Kindergarten used to be all about developing social skills. These days, it’s about learning to read and getting ready to tackle academic subjects in 1st grade.  Still, an important piece of kindergarten is to teach children to work together, share, accept each other’s differences, solve problems by communicating, and enjoy playing with each other.

For some kids, it’s their first chance to interact with other children all day long and to be part of a learning community. It can be an extremely difficult adjustment, especially for children who are used to spending every day at home, whether with Mom or another close caregiver.  Less socialized children in general have a much more difficult time, compared to those who have been involved in group social activities on a regular basis. "

Quoting Anonymous:

You're not using logic whatsoever or facts just your opinion. Go ahead and try that anon factor all you want. This is my first time posting anon and I'm glad, people like you are a waste of oxygen

by Anonymous 98 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:50 AM

Luckystars 2012,

You seem to be carrying around a lot of anger toward society to have to bash people's opinions with such childish comments!

I happen to be a homeschooling mom of 2 (very social and well adjusted) elementary school children. I have 2 Master's Degrees, lots of teaching experience, group as well as private, and have seen first hand that what the kids in our county learn at public school is well below the level of education my children receive at home, in all fields! And in truth, they get more social interaction with people of all ages (kids as well as adults) than most kids in public school ever have a chance, because they don't have to spend 7 hours being quiet listening to a teacher and being bored out of their minds. The 10 to 15 minutes of recess that kids get daily at public school, often only with kids of their own grade, is hardly enough to make it superior as far as getting social interaction goes. My kids are in several activities and group classes, and go to play groups with other homeschooled children (of all ages). 

So instead of throwing insults around, do some research, talk to some people who truly can compare and then make a more educated decision about the facts! 

I'm not saying that everybody should homeschool, I'm simply pointing out the facts that homeschooled children can (and most of the time do) get a very good education, while being very well prepared socially for living in society!

Quoting Anonymous:

I have experience more than volunteering in my child's classroom. I have never been on welfare, I own my home, paid off 2 cars, have a nice 401k, have a bachelors in psychology. I sound as though I'm doing pretty well in life. I'm responding without so much as trying to act higher and and resort to attempts at insults. Which are obviously false. I stay home with my LO because of my work experience and seeing things I personally don't feel comfortable with. When I send him to school I will be working with children again who are troubled and need pyschology treatment. I'm sorry that I don't see it your way, but my 7 years plus educational experience will always benefit this argument more than your child and your measly 15 hours. Talk to someone who doesn't have a background in kids. My SO currently runs a school of his own, helping less fortunate adults earn their contractors licenses so they can make an honest living and possibly begin businesses. And guess what? We were both home schooled children. With a lot of friends and obviously not flipping burgers.

Quoting luckystars2012:

Actually no, the only women who have really disagreed for the most part are women experience in the matter, who have never had daycare, don't have school.aged kids, don't work in classrooms, or a mix of the three.

Your replies have no substance or fact behind them, you're just yammering like a Chihuahua and thinking it means anything. Your lack.of education and experience is painfully obvious and laughable. How many forms of welfare are you/have you been on?

Quoting Anonymous:

From what I've been able to see, your view is a bit of a minority when it comes to the women on this post. Many, many said the opposite of you. I've never had kool aid and don't intend to. You can claim all that you want, but the way you reason in your posts it would seem you aren't educated whatsoever. You speak and and act in a childish manner.

Quoting luckystars2012:

Lmao somebody's been drinking the koolaid.

For every so called study saying home schooled kids are more intelligent or test higher or go further, there'sone to improve it and prove the opposite.

My view isn't "outdated", if anything it's more modern because I understand what kind of education kids need to in today's society.

Oh and I went to public school, and I also have a bachelors degree and am working toward my masters.

Quoting Anonymous:

You're still at this. Studies show home schooled kids test 33% higher on their peers standardized testing. As a matter of fact I have a friend who was homeschooled and just graduated with a bachelors in biology and Minored in sociology. I see a lot more potential. I am sending DS to a certain private school when that time comes. You are just so negative it's sad. I've hardly seen my replies as I've been with my family this weekend and busy with my son today. You really need to see beyond your outdated point of view.

Quoting luckystars2012:

Sure, if you wAnt your kids to be behind socially and academically,by all means intentionally teach them less than what they need to learn. This is not 1950. People need a wider and broader set of skills in order successfully compete in today's adult world, and that starts with a good solid education. it has nothing to do with not wanting children ( which, bybthe way, is one of most ignorant things I've seen on cm in awhile) and everything to do with loving your children enough to make sure they get a great education that will make them valuable in today's world-not a half assed circa 1980 education that will leave them flipping burgers.

Quoting Anonymous:

Another good reason to homeschool and let your kids be kids and grow up at their own pace, without rushing them! It seems like parents can't wait to get their kids out of their house! The sooner the better. If you don't want children around, don't have children!

Quoting Anonymous:

Todays kinder isn't was 40 years ago. My dds kinder class is learning DIVISION, for crying out loud. There is a whole list of criteria they have to be able to do by the end of k or they don't go to first grade.

It's not a bag of beans. A bag of beans is throwing your kid who has never been in a classroom social setting into a school that to them is massive and saying "ok, go to school". I see it almost daily when I'm in my dds classroom, these kids who have no.idea how to act or handle the 10-15 kids they are suddenly surrounded by for hours at a time. The school year is more than.half over and some of these kids are just now beginning to adjust.

It doesn't have to be daycare, but kids.need social classroom setting experience before starting regular school.

Quoting Anonymous:

And this whole idea of kids having to be "ready" for being in a classroom to be "able" to go to Kindergarten, brings up a whole different bag of beans. Isn't (or wasn't it supposed to be) the whole concept of Kindergarten to prepare kids to be ready for classroom learning in 1st grade?!?!?! What happened to that? I some European countries, there are 2 or 3 years of Kindergarten, to get them ready by 1st grade.

So there comes preschool, so now you (and some others) are saying you have to send your BABY to daycare to prepare them for preschool?!?!?!?! What's next, prepare the embryo for class? 

Seriously, the whole thing is just ridiculous! Daycare was invented for parents who need others to watch their kids while they go to work, and don't have the financial means to pay for a private caregiver. Daycare is not a school, nor is it a preparation for school! At best, your baby will be fed and kept safe by total strangers while at daycare, and you pay good money for it too.

There have been numerous studies that show that babies and toddlers thrive best (in all aspects, including social) when they can stay home with mom. Now, am I bashing mothers who drop their babies off at daycare because they have to work? No, of course not! Times are tough, and we all have to do what's best to care for our families the best we can. But if you don't have to, advising to put your baby in daycare to prepare him or her for school? That's a joke!!!!!!!!!!

Quoting luckystars2012:

No, I said that children who enter kinder without any experience in a classroom social setting ate mire likely to have big issues socially in that setting. Which is true. Whether a kid gets the experience from daycare, preK, weekly art classes at the Y, whatever- the experience is still important.

You can stand by what you said all you want. Since you have no experience in the subject, what you said doesn't really have any value.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:13 AM
Noooooo. Daycare is for those who need it. You don't
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by Anonymous 109 on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:27 AM

Our son is in speech therapy and they just tested him and he's delayed socially now as well. They will come to our house to help develop those skills for like $10 a month 4x a month. (We're poor though so we couldn't afford Montessori.)

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:22 AM

It's all up to what you feel is right. My husband and I are both military members, who work all sorts of hours. So we need a nanny, we can't really put our daughter in daycare (she's 19mo old). I substitute social skills learning with the neighbors, church, grocery stores, parks, etc. We get out enough that she shes how to interact with others and can play with out as well. I've even looked at the local moms meet-ups to see if there's times that will work with our schedule. She's learning how to share, which is an important time for most kids lives at her age. She won't get the social skills unless you supplement play time with others as well. 

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:25 AM

Btw, everyone's a critic these days. Everyone feels they know best and are an expert in all subjects. Do what you feel is right in your heart, it is your child. No child will be perfect, every mom/dad, mom/mom, dad/dad have there ups and downs and challenges. At the end of the day it's your child and you know best.

by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:05 AM
I know that there is library story times, I'd it that you don't want to be without Kathryn baby? It's like all the suggestions are being shit down. Do what you feel is right but the library has story time, just go to that.
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by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:05 AM
We don't send our 2 to daycare my oldest started prek at 4 though
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I don't recommend day care unless you have to use it. It does lead to a type of socialization, but any teacher can tell you it is easy to spot day care children. For some outgoing children it is fine, but shy children for example are overwhelmed at an early age when they can't handle the crowds. Children need to bond with care givers and reading skills are build on the lap of an adult. In school they tell teachers, " since we can't hold them all here is how we adapt the process." Needless to say it doesn't work for every child so why rush them out of the best learning situation.

People advertise for play groups in the paper and on sites like Craigslist. You might find a Mother's Day out or Drop in program in your area day care and church schools. Do what makes you happy and your child will be happy. (My 2 year old cried the whole time even with her 4 year old brother beside her so I pulled her out. The next year I signed her up for an other try and she threw herself in the floor screaming because she couldn't stay the day I signed her up. Go figure. Kids do what they are comfortable with and we can't force them to do what they are not ready for. Always thank a doctor for his input, they mean well. Mine told me on my third doctor visit with my 3rd child to go sit in the mall and let them run so I could get some rest; he thought I looked terrible;) Can't you see doing that now days? You would get rest alright, while in jail for child endangerment.

Good Luck

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