I don't understand why he treats me this way (small update in OP)
I have been married for 8 years and have 3 young kids. My DH is a total asshole. he treats me like crap, calls me names, curses at me in front of the kids, etc. we just had a fight over nothing and he told me he was going to choke me and stab me. he is useless around here, contributes NOTHING to this marriage (he doesn't work, doesn't help around the house, etc. my older child is crying saying "I don't like when you guys fight" - this is not the life I envisioned for myself or my kids. I am so lost !!!
EDIT - so I wrote him a little note (it is easier for me to write my thoughts out. every time I try to talk to him, it truns into a fight - I listed my 3 non-negotiables (things that have to change if we are to stay together) - I folded the page so that these 3 things were on the inside. I wrote a little note on the front. I was brusing my teeth this morning. he read the front page and then threw it out without even reading the list. I was so hurt - he obviously has no desire to fix this. I am done, my rings are off and he is out of my life.