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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm a WAHM not a SAHM!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
There's a difference. I refuse to fall under the stereotype SAHM. I'm not lazy as I do more than a SAHM!!

I'm not against a SAHM. I just believe in making my fair share.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Replies (841-850):
Gretchensgirls
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:28 PM

LOL I agree!

sidesplittinglaughter

Quoting mommy_me:

 Oh wow.

Stirring the ''shit pot'' huh?

Bored tonight?

SAG awards are on if you need something to do


holding cloth bagMaddy & Abby's Mom

Gretchensgirls
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm certain she does feel better and isn't she setting a great example for her children? Sure honey, it's OK to bully, just try to sound superior when doing so.

sarcasm

Quoting Turtle207:

Wow. Do you feel better now? Does trying to bully and belittle someone else make you feel better about yourself?

Is that all YOU have to add to society? And is that what you teach your kids to add to society? What a joke. God help us.


Quoting Anonymous:

Ok martha stewart...your contribution is awesome by doing dishes and laundry.. keep thinking you are adding anything to society.




Quoting Anonymous:


That still doesn't make me lazy.  Just because you work and I don't doesn't mean I am lazy.  Thats not how that works.  It just means that my DH makes enough money that I can concentrate all my efforts on making his life, our kids' lives, and our home as comfortable as possible.



Quoting Anonymous:

And some of us work 10 hour days and do all the housework at home and take care of our children. No kudos for you.








Quoting Anonymous:

I am a sahm and I am not lazy.  I do my share.  I cook, clean, teach our children, all while DH is at work.  I work 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.  He works 10 hour days 4 days a week.  I don't ask him to do much when he is home.  I don't think Sahms are lazy at all.











Anonymous
by Anonymous 157 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:39 PM

Stay at Home Dads are Lazy. At least my ex was, couldn't be bothered to cook or clean but I work full time and oh right you never stop being a parent now do you. He left and he blew off his visit to go winter camping and to learn how to ice climb. Yep, really cool dad. 

squocket
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:25 PM

I didn't single  you out for any reason other than your post happened to be one of the ones I read. You sounded intelligent and so I thought it was a good opportunity to shed some light on a common misconception that working moms have about their lives. I have heard many moms, not just yourself, claim that they do all a stay at home mother does simply because they do all the same things (cooking, cleaning, laundry...etc.). What they seem to overlook is that a stay at home mother also interacts all day (and sometimes night) with her kids. Essentially she does the job a daycare provider would do for a working mom. Here it is about time spent rather than number of things done. I feel this is the biggest difference between SAHMs and WAHMs and over-looking it under-values what a SAHM and also a daycare provider does. I don't think you were intentionally uner-valuing anyone, but that doesn't mean that it is okay to just throw ignorant statements around.


Quoting xolilmamato3:

What I don't get is why you are even starting with me? Out of the ton of responses you had to make it clear I'm not a sahm. I was just saying I don't get a break being a working mom. I didn't say I was a sahm. Yea you are right, 3 nights a week my husband gets up in the middle of the night if there is a problem. And 3 days a week for 4 hours I'm not around my 2 year old, because I nap during the day. Feel better now? I'm done talking about this topic.


Quoting squocket:

Why wouldn't I quote you if I wanted to respond?

Anyway, I am sorry if you were under the impression that I was trying to say that I do more than you. I thought that I had made it clear in my first comment that that was not my intention.(Also, why would you assume anything about the amount of work I do? I gave you no information regarding that)


I maintain what I said about asking you to refrain from saying that you do everything a SAHM does. My intention was not to imply that you don't do a huge amount of work. What I am trying to show is that part of being SAHM is being available for your children 24/7 (this is not me saying that you aren't available for you children). By working outside the home, you are not there for nighttime needs nor are you able to care for your youngest for a large portion of his/her day. I am not judging you for this or saying that it is wrong. All I am saying is that a SAHM would handle any needs her children had at night and would be caring for the baby because that is what she has agreed that she will do. It is not that either one is doing something wrong. It is that both mothers are doing different things and when you say you are doing the same things a SAHM does, you are neglecting to consider what a SAHM would be doing during the times you are out of the house/unavailable. These things are different from what you are doing. That is all I was trying to say.



Quoting xolilmamato3:

Are you out of your mind? What exactly more do you do than me being a sahm? I sleep maybe 6 hours during the day, because that is my sleep time. I still do all my household chores, everything with my kids being that I'm sleeping when two are in school. So does that mean in 3 years when all 3 are in school I'll be a sahm? I won't refrain from anything, because I do everything you do and support my family financially. I have a very different circumstance, because I work overnights. I still do every school event and hw and baths and doctors appointments and dance and girl scouts and cleaning and cooking and anything else a mother does! Oh and 2-3 of those 6 hours my baby is napping. I literally am with them all the time and at work while they are sleeping. Not to mention I work 3 nights a week, since I work 12 hour shifts, so the other 4 days I'm there 24/7. You really have a set of balls thinking I don't do what you do and more! Essentially I am a full time working and sahm, because of my hours. Actually now that I'm typing this I prob have it harder than most moms. And if you don't quote me I won't be responding to any replys, because I don't have time to search through all these posts.





Quoting squocket:

You sound extremely busy and I am not here to tell you that your job isn't hard or that you get a break while at work, but I would like to ask you to refrain from saying that you do everything a SAHM does because you don't. You are at work part of the day. A sitter takes care of your youngest so that you can sleep. Your life is completely different from that of a SAHM.




Quoting xolilmamato3:

The people that are saying that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world make me laugh! I'm guessing you are not a nurse that works overnights?! My day/night goes something like this...leave for work 7pm, work until 7am, come home and get 2 of my 3 kids ready for school, sleep around 9am while the sitter hangs out with my lil one, get back up 3pm and get the kids off the bus, do hw, cook dinner, give baths, get back to work. Not to mention when there are trips or a special events my nap is interrupted by attending these events. Went to their thanksgiving party and christmas party at 2 different schools and have a field trip next month. Got one in dance and girl scouts too. So where exactly is my so called break? You mean at work when I'm taking care of other people's babies? Half the time too busy to even talk to people around me! I would do anything to stay home with my kids, but that would mean I'd have to move to another state away from family since Long island is super expensive! I'm not calling anyone lazy or lucky. But don't tell me I get a break, since I work. I bust my damn butt and do everything a sahm does. I don't have a maid or chef. I clean, cook, care for my kids and work full time.













kaisermama
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:49 PM

 I TOTALLY agree... im a SAHM and its a full time job with overtime and no benefits. but i love it and you don't have time to be lazy. we farm and ranch and my husband is working nonestop year around with no set hours and i can only help him when kids are somewhere or its nice outside. In our area childcare is pretty much none existant and what is is expensive for what no jobs there our in our SMALL town. i love my job and i hate when sahm's are put down. even if you said "im not against sahm im just not as lazy" for main chick... ugh i could go on and on but i won't

Quoting Anonymous:

There's a difference. I refuse to fall under the stereotype SAHM. I'm not lazy as I do more than a SAHM!!

I'm not against a SAHM. I just believe in making my fair share.


 

GoyaBean82
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:06 AM

I have news for you, darling. A "SAHM" IS a "WAHM". This is true because taking care of any child or children....is WORK, in itself. It is a very physically and mentally AND emotionally exhausting job. 



 And I do happen to be a Stay At Home Mother who also happens to work her own home-based business from home as well. So..I see both sides. And I was also JUST a SAHM, only.....and had no help from the father. 

So, you go ahead and "refuse to fall under the sterotype of a SAHM".....and that is just pretty stupid of you; because the statistics show that all of the work that a SAHM does,  taking care of kids, cleaning, laundry, cooking, taking care of the home and much more... (if put into what they were monetarily worth) - it came out to six figures (Forbes in 2001 stated that) and then this year was a different number, as it changes from time to time I imagine.....but as you can see, the media, as well as highly publicised magazines, news reports, statistics and so forth (i.e. many well-known and affluent sources & people) , these days, are looking at SAHM in a very GOOD light-and comparing them to other WORKING people. 

So........................yeah.....

GoyaBean82
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:12 AM

In other words...these days, the "stereotype" of a SAHM mothers, for the most part, is taking a turn in a positive direction.....giving us all a lot more credit than we used to get in the past-the credit we finally deserve!!


Of course, there STILL is the common idiot who thinks we are lazy and do nothing. 

GoyaBean82
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:20 AM

And I must add, after reading some of the comments here...This is NOT a damn "pissing match" for goodness sakes. We all have some sort of work to do-no matter what "form" it comes in.

We all need to be strong w/out pitty stories. Because, in truth, we all have them. Sad things. Struggles, trials & tribulations. To the nurse above...we get it. You dont have to explain your whole daily routine because ya know what...there are many people out there who could "beat you" in your daily "struggle" . Meaning, may have is WORSE than you.

 Me for one. I have like 5 autoimmune diseases (Lupus for one) which keep me really sick most of the time. Just getting out of bed in themorning is a difficult feat for me. Im losing my hair, the father of my child has become addicted to coke, I have no help from my family- most deceased-or worthless in value to me)..and the list goes on and on. 


So, lets just say that its not a contest here. We all have struggles. And Im sure we all do our best-the best we know how. Have respect for other mothers. I mean, really...cmon' people....

daddysbrat
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:10 AM

If somebody or some company is not writing you a paycheck then YOU ARE A STAY AT HOME MOM. So get over it.

xolilmamato3
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:31 AM
Nothing I said was ignorant at all. Actually I was responding to all the ignorant statements that working moms some how get a break that sahm's don't. I never once put down a sahm or even called myself one. You seem like you have an issue with yourself and your purpose that you have to defend what you do as a sahm. I've done it before and all I'm saying is if I had a choice I would be a sahm in a heartbeat. I'm def more stressed now working full time. I also have a very different schedule that makes my interaction and time with my children greater than most working moms. My kids are 2, 5 and 8. They don't wake up at night unless maybe one is sick. In which btw I usually stay home for that. Working 3 nights a week also contributes to the fact I'm there a lot more. I have nothing more to say about this. You took me defending the fact that I don't get a break at work and saying that I do all the things you do as a sahm as something to shed light on? I've been on the other side. I know what you do. Let me ask you one last question, have you ever worked full time after you had children? If not please back off your computer and don't compare us or the quality of time we both spend with our kids. Come back in 20 years too and post how well adjusted your kids are. I'm sure your next point will be to argue that you are doing a better job staying home than I am working...I posted somewhere else on this thread about everyone having different situations and not judging. The OP just wanted to start an argument. I'm done with this one.


Quoting squocket:

I didn't single  you out for any reason other than your post happened to be one of the ones I read. You sounded intelligent and so I thought it was a good opportunity to shed some light on a common misconception that working moms have about their lives. I have heard many moms, not just yourself, claim that they do all a stay at home mother does simply because they do all the same things (cooking, cleaning, laundry...etc.). What they seem to overlook is that a stay at home mother also interacts all day (and sometimes night) with her kids. Essentially she does the job a daycare provider would do for a working mom. Here it is about time spent rather than number of things done. I feel this is the biggest difference between SAHMs and WAHMs and over-looking it under-values what a SAHM and also a daycare provider does. I don't think you were intentionally uner-valuing anyone, but that doesn't mean that it is okay to just throw ignorant statements around.



Quoting xolilmamato3:

What I don't get is why you are even starting with me? Out of the ton of responses you had to make it clear I'm not a sahm. I was just saying I don't get a break being a working mom. I didn't say I was a sahm. Yea you are right, 3 nights a week my husband gets up in the middle of the night if there is a problem. And 3 days a week for 4 hours I'm not around my 2 year old, because I nap during the day. Feel better now? I'm done talking about this topic.





Quoting squocket:

Why wouldn't I quote you if I wanted to respond?

Anyway, I am sorry if you were under the impression that I was trying to say that I do more than you. I thought that I had made it clear in my first comment that that was not my intention.(Also, why would you assume anything about the amount of work I do? I gave you no information regarding that)


I maintain what I said about asking you to refrain from saying that you do everything a SAHM does. My intention was not to imply that you don't do a huge amount of work. What I am trying to show is that part of being SAHM is being available for your children 24/7 (this is not me saying that you aren't available for you children). By working outside the home, you are not there for nighttime needs nor are you able to care for your youngest for a large portion of his/her day. I am not judging you for this or saying that it is wrong. All I am saying is that a SAHM would handle any needs her children had at night and would be caring for the baby because that is what she has agreed that she will do. It is not that either one is doing something wrong. It is that both mothers are doing different things and when you say you are doing the same things a SAHM does, you are neglecting to consider what a SAHM would be doing during the times you are out of the house/unavailable. These things are different from what you are doing. That is all I was trying to say.




Quoting xolilmamato3:

Are you out of your mind? What exactly more do you do than me being a sahm? I sleep maybe 6 hours during the day, because that is my sleep time. I still do all my household chores, everything with my kids being that I'm sleeping when two are in school. So does that mean in 3 years when all 3 are in school I'll be a sahm? I won't refrain from anything, because I do everything you do and support my family financially. I have a very different circumstance, because I work overnights. I still do every school event and hw and baths and doctors appointments and dance and girl scouts and cleaning and cooking and anything else a mother does! Oh and 2-3 of those 6 hours my baby is napping. I literally am with them all the time and at work while they are sleeping. Not to mention I work 3 nights a week, since I work 12 hour shifts, so the other 4 days I'm there 24/7. You really have a set of balls thinking I don't do what you do and more! Essentially I am a full time working and sahm, because of my hours. Actually now that I'm typing this I prob have it harder than most moms. And if you don't quote me I won't be responding to any replys, because I don't have time to search through all these posts.








Quoting squocket:

You sound extremely busy and I am not here to tell you that your job isn't hard or that you get a break while at work, but I would like to ask you to refrain from saying that you do everything a SAHM does because you don't. You are at work part of the day. A sitter takes care of your youngest so that you can sleep. Your life is completely different from that of a SAHM.





Quoting xolilmamato3:

The people that are saying that being a sahm is the hardest job in the world make me laugh! I'm guessing you are not a nurse that works overnights?! My day/night goes something like this...leave for work 7pm, work until 7am, come home and get 2 of my 3 kids ready for school, sleep around 9am while the sitter hangs out with my lil one, get back up 3pm and get the kids off the bus, do hw, cook dinner, give baths, get back to work. Not to mention when there are trips or a special events my nap is interrupted by attending these events. Went to their thanksgiving party and christmas party at 2 different schools and have a field trip next month. Got one in dance and girl scouts too. So where exactly is my so called break? You mean at work when I'm taking care of other people's babies? Half the time too busy to even talk to people around me! I would do anything to stay home with my kids, but that would mean I'd have to move to another state away from family since Long island is super expensive! I'm not calling anyone lazy or lucky. But don't tell me I get a break, since I work. I bust my damn butt and do everything a sahm does. I don't have a maid or chef. I clean, cook, care for my kids and work full time.



















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