Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband has a baby with another woman **EDIT** **EDIT**

 I just found out today that my soon-to-be-ex husband has a child with another woman. Him and this woman dated for about two months in the spring of last year. She contacted me a few months ago saying she was pregnant by him and that she didnt want him to know(they had split by this time). I didnt really believe her. Well, today she contacts me and tells me that she had the baby this morning. She sent me a pic. Needless to say, the baby looks just like my kids. She said that now she does not care wether he knows that its his baby or not. I dont know what to do. I have four kids with this asshole. They are 5, 6, 7, and 6 months. How the hell do I tell my kids that they have a baby sister? And that I dont know if they can see her or not. I told him that he needs to explain it because it is not my deal. I am not the parent to this baby. He said that he only cares what his new girlfriend thinks and not anyone else and that he will explain it to the kids "when they are old enough to understand". WHAT SHOULD I DO???

 

EDIT

She wants the baby to have a relationship with my kids. I have contacted a divorce lawyer, but I havent had a chance to let her know about this yet. This woman and baby live VERY close to me and my kids. My kids will see this baby somewhere eventually, then what? BTW the asshole says the baby isnt his (which he said about all four of mine till the dna tests came back)

EDIT #2

He demanded dna tests after baby number 4 was born. I left him when I was pregnant with her. After she was born I filed for CS. The asshole wanted dna tests to "make sure they were his kids"

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:16 PM
Replies (21-30):
Mommyoffour456
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:33 PM

 In her defense, we had already seperated when they got together. He only pays attention to the older three kids anyway.

Quoting addyangel:

I would let your kids meet their sibling. It isn't any of the kids' fault that their father is an a-hole who procreated out of wedlock with a homewrecker. I'd say if he's acting like this about the new child he probably isn't going to be in the new child's life as much and isn't going to be a man and take the steps himself to let his kids know each other.

 

Nikki286
by Tosya on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:33 PM
1 mom liked this

why were you with him after he denied your first one or even two kids?? that amount of trust in you should have been a red flag. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:34 PM
My kids have a half sib, and they don't know. My kids are only nine and seven. Sadly my ex also ran off and not caring for this little girl. I do plan on telling my kids when they are around 13 or 14. Me and the other child's mom don't get along. Never have..
But that's a choice you gotta make on your own. And you gotta plan for all the questions they will ask.
Mommyoffour456
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:35 PM

 He demanded dna tests on the kids after baby number 4 was born.

Quoting Nikki286:

why were you with him after he denied your first one or even two kids?? that amount of trust in you should have been a red flag. 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:35 PM
Why did marry and STAY WITH a man that denied your kids were his?
Did the other girl know he was married when she dated him?
Either way, that is your kids sibling. Despite it all, the bsby is innocent in this, let her have a relationship with her brothers & sisters.
marie2409
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Oohhh wow. Sounds like somebody wanted out of paying child support. Men are so fuckin' dumb!

Quoting Mommyoffour456:

 No. That asshole demanded a dna test on all four kids AFTER number 4 was born. I left his ass when I was pregnant with her.


Quoting marie2409:

LOL your HUSBAND demanded a dna test on your first child and you chose to have 3 more with him? As he continued to not believe they were his kids? Damn!!

 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
KyrinM
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell her, that if indeed her daughter is a half sister to your kids, then yes of course they can know her.  Their worthless father doesn't need to be involved really.  It isn't the little girl's fault she was born, but I wouldn't deny her knowing her brothers & sisters.  It sounds like you are reasonably friendly with her, & perhaps despite the situation you can be friends.  One of my best friends growing up was a girl that I met when we found out her BF was also my BF & the BF had failed to tell either of us.  LOL!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Not really...


Quoting DyerMaker:

Let your divorce attorney know this. Since you are still legally married, it can hurt him in court tha he fathered a child out of wedlock, and while still technically married to you.


addyangel
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Lol, he's still an a-hole though it sounds like!

It also sounds like you might actually be able to get along with this woman if you don't harbor any ill feelings towards her for what happened. It would be good for all the kids involved, especially since the new baby and your youngest are so close in age. Screw him, you should both get as much CS from him as you can and laugh at him behind his back with the other momma!


Quoting Mommyoffour456:

 In her defense, we had already seperated when they got together. He only pays attention to the older three kids anyway.


Quoting addyangel:

I would let your kids meet their sibling. It isn't any of the kids' fault that their father is an a-hole who procreated out of wedlock with a homewrecker. I'd say if he's acting like this about the new child he probably isn't going to be in the new child's life as much and isn't going to be a man and take the steps himself to let his kids know each other.

 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Flobrooks
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:37 PM

This fool you were married to demanded DNA tests for your kids and you still had four.  I would have kicked his butt out the first time he wanted a test for the first kid, yet you had three more.  Be sure you get a good child support order with the divorce, and contact the courts every time he misses a payment.  He needs to be neutered, five kids already. Yours came first, others get the leftovers, they can blame their Moms for making bad decisions.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)