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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I believe to be pregnant with a lion [THE TWINS ARE HERE! TROLLCAT] *2014 update

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I recently discovered i was pregnant, i found out i was pregnant by having tests done for a urintary tract infection. The medicine they gave me for the UTI makes your urine turn orange, so the day after finding out i was preggo i had orange urine AND now my tummy keeps growling at me. Thats a pretty good sign to me.

I believe i am pregnant with a lion. I am not fit to be a mother to a lion.

I would like to give up Timon the Lion for adoption, but when i contacted New Beginings adoption agency, they were very racist towards Timon and i refuse to work with such racist assholes. They said i should contact a zoo, and made it sound like Timon was some kind of wild rabid animal, instead of my loving son.

Does anybody have any advice on where to find perspective adoptive parents who are open to children of other colors?

What should i be eating? I want Timon to be a healthy lion.

I have looked into lion pregnancies and they are pregnant for 110 days. 

I am 2 months pregnant, which is 60 days so i don't have much longer to go. 

I have been thinking about sticking to a meat diet, and for some odd reason i have been getting cravings for gummy bears and the neighbors cat. I believe Timon is trying to express himself, however as a grown lady i would look beyond stupid to go chase a cat or pounce on a gummy bear. 

If i give Timon up for adoption, would i be able to keep his name as Timon? I got it from Lion King.


http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_long_are_lions_pregnant




Timon and Tamale were born at 7pm mountain time. Exactly 59 minutes ago

Timon looks like one bad ass motha f'ing liion! He has a penis.

No, not matter how much you beg me i will not post a photo of his lion penis.

Tamale looks more like a innocent lion, the kind you want to bake for thanksgiving dinner. But don't demasculine her, shes still a bad ass lion


Timon TrollCat Freakshoe (Named after his father, TrollCat)

and 

Tamale Hot Freakshoe (Hot Tamale, cause her dadda TrollCat one sexy ass hot tamale!)


The twins are now 1! Like ohmygod!

This is Timon

and this is Tamale

You are all invited to their first birthday! 

The menu is fried kitten toes and banana custard.

We ask that you each donate 1 child to help with the cost of feeding the lion babies. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:53 AM
Replies (41-50):
maria1613
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:34 AM
Screw that. I would be begging for a c section. No way would I want to push a lion out of me

Quoting maryjmom:

I hope for sake they do an episiotomy ( ? Spelling) cause when them claws come out, it's gonna hurt like a bitch!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:37 AM
1 mom liked this
Timon is a horrible lion name. He was a meerkat in the lion king
maryjmom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Could you just imagine a natural birth with a lion? Can you say * massive epidural *?

Quoting maria1613:

Screw that. I would be begging for a c section. No way would I want to push a lion out of me



Quoting maryjmom:

I hope for sake they do an episiotomy ( ? Spelling) cause when them claws come out, it's gonna hurt like a bitch!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:38 AM
Give birth in a zoo
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ramonafrog
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:38 AM
What if you have a whole litter?... Like more than one lion baby...
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:39 AM
Uhh, i didn't think of that.

Quoting ramonafrog:

What if you have a whole litter?... Like more than one lion baby...
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:39 AM
Racist

Quoting Supervane:

Give birth in a zoo
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:42 AM
Guess so lol

And maybe name him Mufasa if its a boy and Nala if its a girl


Quoting Anonymous:

Racist



Quoting Supervane:

Give birth in a zoo

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:43 AM
Frosted Flakes

Everyday
ramonafrog
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:48 AM

maybe that's why your belly is so noisy...

Quoting Anonymous:

Uhh, i didn't think of that.

Quoting ramonafrog:

What if you have a whole litter?... Like more than one lion baby...


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