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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

is this a fair visitation schedule? eta...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 168 Replies
This is my proposed visitation schedule for our upcoming divorce. The kids live with me full time. He gets dd6 every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend from 5pm Friday till 5pm Sunday. He gets ds who is 4 months old from 10am till 5pm on Saturdays of that same weekend. No overnight visitation with ds until he turns 1. He also gets them from 5-7pm on Wednesdays every week. Is this fair? Do you think the judge will keep it as is or change it?

ETA...

I don't want him having overnight visitation with ds because he doesn't hear him at night when he wakes up to eat. I am willing to slowly introduce overnights as soon as ds starts sleeping through the night but not before then.
I'm willing to offer more night visits during the week if he wants them but he works late most nights.
I did give him right of first refusal in regards to babysitting.
Holiday schedule is as follows: He has the kids on father's day, his birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas Eve. I have them mother's day, my birthday, Easter, and Christmas day. Other holidays will be discussed and swapped.
He may have extra days with them during school breaks including summer vacation.
We are still living together until my apartment is ready on March 1st. I'd like to get this all settled before then.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Miller0305
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:18 AM
7 moms liked this

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.

usmcwifey11
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Sounds fair to me. As long as he knows he's able to come see them in between visits if he wants.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:20 AM

No, it is not fair...50/50 is fair.

piratehooker
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM
My DH would totally fight me for 50:50 so idk
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QueenBof6
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this
50/50 is fair.




And yes. If I ever split with my man there will be no question, we are splitting equal custody. I would hate for him to only have "visitation" with our daughter.
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Stephd710
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I would let both the kids go for the same amount of time.  My girls started overnights with their dad when they were 2 months old. They did fine.  Unless you are breastfeeding him, I would let him have the overnights.  

cupcake_mom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:22 AM

i dont see a problem with it as long as he doesnt. i believe in giving the father as much time with his kids as he wants. there are alot of dads out there that dont want or fight for time with their kids, so if he wants to be with them, let him. not sure if the divorse is nasty or not, but if its not maybe you should talk with him and see what he was thinking. sit down with a calender so everyone is on the same page

cupcake_mom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:24 AM

even if she is breastfeeding, she can pump for the time the baby is there. my friend had wein her son earlier than she wanted to because the courts forced her to put him on a bottle and he wouldnt drink breast milk from a bottle. and i think that is messed up!

Quoting Stephd710:

I would let both the kids go for the same amount of time.  My girls started overnights with their dad when they were 2 months old. They did fine.  Unless you are breastfeeding him, I would let him have the overnights.  


LucyHarper
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:29 AM

I don't think that's fair, he's getting like 4-6 days a month and a couple hours on Wednesdays and he only sees the younger one a few hours a month. That's not fair at all. He should be allowed to have the younger one just as often as he has the older one, its not like fathers are incapable of caring for their own child overnight, he's just as able as the mother is. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:29 AM
Unless your breastfeeding a judge will require overnights with the infant for the same amount of time as the 6 year old.

Also since the time for the weekday visit is so short, you will probably be required to offer another day.


Also right of first refusal is a good stipulation to have. Basically if you or your ex has to work or something comes up you get to decide if you would like to have the kids or let them go to a babysitters for that time.
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