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is this a fair visitation schedule? eta...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
This is my proposed visitation schedule for our upcoming divorce. The kids live with me full time. He gets dd6 every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend from 5pm Friday till 5pm Sunday. He gets ds who is 4 months old from 10am till 5pm on Saturdays of that same weekend. No overnight visitation with ds until he turns 1. He also gets them from 5-7pm on Wednesdays every week. Is this fair? Do you think the judge will keep it as is or change it?

ETA...

I don't want him having overnight visitation with ds because he doesn't hear him at night when he wakes up to eat. I am willing to slowly introduce overnights as soon as ds starts sleeping through the night but not before then.
I'm willing to offer more night visits during the week if he wants them but he works late most nights.
I did give him right of first refusal in regards to babysitting.
Holiday schedule is as follows: He has the kids on father's day, his birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas Eve. I have them mother's day, my birthday, Easter, and Christmas day. Other holidays will be discussed and swapped.
He may have extra days with them during school breaks including summer vacation.
We are still living together until my apartment is ready on March 1st. I'd like to get this all settled before then.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:17 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Ds still gets up in the middle of the night and stbxh doesn't hear him and even if he does he won't get up with him. I'm not going to make my son starve so stbxh can sit him in his swing in front of the tv for an extra day... He doesn't spend any time with him as it is because "babies just sit there."

Quoting Stephd710:

I would let both the kids go for the same amount of time.  My girls started overnights with their dad when they were 2 months old. They did fine.  Unless you are breastfeeding him, I would let him have the overnights.  

Stephd710
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:31 AM

I didnt breastfeed so I had no issue with my girls going overnight.  That sucks that happened to your friend!  I think circumstances are different if the baby is being breastfed.  


Quoting cupcake_mom:

even if she is breastfeeding, she can pump for the time the baby is there. my friend had wein her son earlier than she wanted to because the courts forced her to put him on a bottle and he wouldnt drink breast milk from a bottle. and i think that is messed up!

Quoting Stephd710:

I would let both the kids go for the same amount of time.  My girls started overnights with their dad when they were 2 months old. They did fine.  Unless you are breastfeeding him, I would let him have the overnights.  




Megan11587
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:32 AM
No. It's not fair. Should be 50/50.
Stephd710
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:33 AM

One thing you will have to learn early on to save yourself a headache is :  you have no control over how your ex parents the children while he is with them.  Unless there is serious danger to the child that is CPS worthy, you have no say over what happens at his house.  It took me awhile to stop obsessing too and its understandable but you will just have to let it go.  Do you think he is going to let him starve?  If you really feel that he may, then you need to report it or nothing is going to happen.  


Quoting Anonymous:

Ds still gets up in the middle of the night and stbxh doesn't hear him and even if he does he won't get up with him. I'm not going to make my son starve so stbxh can sit him in his swing in front of the tv for an extra day... He doesn't spend any time with him as it is because "babies just sit there."

Quoting Stephd710:

I would let both the kids go for the same amount of time.  My girls started overnights with their dad when they were 2 months old. They did fine.  Unless you are breastfeeding him, I would let him have the overnights.  



cupcake_mom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:33 AM

me too! specially if the child WONT take a bottle.

Quoting Stephd710:

I didnt breastfeed so I had no issue with my girls going overnight.  That sucks that happened to your friend!  I think circumstances are different if the baby is being breastfed.  


Quoting cupcake_mom:

even if she is breastfeeding, she can pump for the time the baby is there. my friend had wein her son earlier than she wanted to because the courts forced her to put him on a bottle and he wouldnt drink breast milk from a bottle. and i think that is messed up!

Quoting Stephd710:

I would let both the kids go for the same amount of time.  My girls started overnights with their dad when they were 2 months old. They did fine.  Unless you are breastfeeding him, I would let him have the overnights.  





catrig
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:35 AM

It sounds reasonable to me.

captaincw322
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:35 AM
Bump. I would offer him that, plus another day. Or make Wednesday from after school till 7.
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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:37 AM

It's standard, but not fair.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:38 AM
Yes she does.

It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.

And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.


Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:39 AM
My dh has already told me if we ever divorce i would get the kids
I think its fair
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