Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

is this a fair visitation schedule? eta...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
This is my proposed visitation schedule for our upcoming divorce. The kids live with me full time. He gets dd6 every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend from 5pm Friday till 5pm Sunday. He gets ds who is 4 months old from 10am till 5pm on Saturdays of that same weekend. No overnight visitation with ds until he turns 1. He also gets them from 5-7pm on Wednesdays every week. Is this fair? Do you think the judge will keep it as is or change it?

ETA...

I don't want him having overnight visitation with ds because he doesn't hear him at night when he wakes up to eat. I am willing to slowly introduce overnights as soon as ds starts sleeping through the night but not before then.
I'm willing to offer more night visits during the week if he wants them but he works late most nights.
I did give him right of first refusal in regards to babysitting.
Holiday schedule is as follows: He has the kids on father's day, his birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas Eve. I have them mother's day, my birthday, Easter, and Christmas day. Other holidays will be discussed and swapped.
He may have extra days with them during school breaks including summer vacation.
We are still living together until my apartment is ready on March 1st. I'd like to get this all settled before then.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:17 AM
Replies (161-168):
lowencope
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:39 PM
Idk sounds ok if he's ok with it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 27 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:31 AM
Hope your not in az they'd laugh at you
Anonymous
by Anonymous 28 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:58 AM

I'd offer him to have, in even numbered years, Labor Day Weekend, Thanksgiving Weekend, Christmas Vacation, Spring Break, Easter Weekend, Memorial Day Weekend, Independence Day/Weekend, the Birthday/Birthday Weekends of the children, and any other five day consecutive break from school. For the first half of the Summer Vacation, he will excercise your parenting timeshare schedule, and you will exercise his. Every year he shall exercise parenting time during Father's Day Weekend, and his birthday/birthday weekend. Every year the mother shall exercise parenting time during Mother's Day Weekend and her birthday/birthday weekend. Throughout the school year, the father will exercise parenting time on alternating weekends from 5pm Friday until 5pm Sunday. The Father shall exercise weekday parenting time from 5 pm until 7pm every Wednesday. In the event that the minor children do not attend school, the local school schedule of the mother's school district will be used to determine what defines terms, such as "Christmas Vacation," "Spring Break," and "Summer Vacation." Both parents are entitled to two-weeks of uninterrupted parenting time during their respective halves of Summer Vacation for the purposes of out-of-town vacations. Each parent must provide the other parent with two week prior written notice of the intent to vacation, as well as any itinerary or flight information. In the event that any of the minor children are under the age of three, the father may not exercise any overnight parenting time with said child. On any day that would normally end in overnight parenting time with an older child, the father may exercise parenting time with a child under the age of three from 10am until 5pm. In addition, until the minor child reaches the age of three, the mother will provide the father access to visit with the child in her home on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays from 5pm until 7pm. If the father plans to exercise these entitled visits, he must provide two weeks written notice of his intent to visit. Should he fail to provide two weeks written notice, the mother is under no obligation to provide him access to her home.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 28 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:04 AM

Yes, if he contests it and hires a lawyer, you could both have to pay for a GAL or custody evaluator/social investigator/parenting coordinator to interview you both several times, observe you both interacting with your children in a laboratory play setting, and visit both of your homes. Afterwards, a report with recommendations will be written. If you two are still unable to reach an agreement after paying a mediator to try to help you, you go to trial where a judge will make the decision.

Quoting Anonymous: Who gets to decide if he's capable then? Someone who doesn't know him?
Quoting Anonymous: its not up to you to decide if he is capable of having his son over night. You are just their mom.. 
kitchen.ninja
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:05 AM
No not fair.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Fallaya
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:22 AM
I agree.


Quoting captaincw322:

Bump. I would offer him that, plus another day. Or make Wednesday from after school till 7.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 29 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:27 AM
My husband is an equal parent as was my father and many of thd men I know. Maybe you only know people who procreate with losers who aren't involved in their childrens' lives.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.



It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.



And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.




Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 30 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:37 AM
Well my stbxh was not an "equal parent". Unless you would co.sider equal parenting as asking the kids to do everything for him so he didnt have to get up, sending them to their rooms so he could watch his R or MA rated tv shows whenever he wanted, missing important days with them because he was on a trip with his gf which I didnt know about at the time. We moved in july. Even though he has had plenty of opportunities to visit them since november, he has spent all of maybe 10 days with them if that, which he cut short to go on a week long vaca with his gf. When we get divorced I will have custody regardless. He lives in a rv with his brother, goes out every weekend, wont get a job because he wants to live off unemployment, and hasnt made effort to see them. He seldom calls or texts, and no I would not agree to 50/50 because I would never make my kids switch schools through the school year. I think custody and visitation should be determined on a case by case basis, not just 50/50.

Quoting QueenBof6:

Since when are fathers not equal parents? And why aren't they?



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.





It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.





And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.






Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN