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is this a fair visitation schedule? eta...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
This is my proposed visitation schedule for our upcoming divorce. The kids live with me full time. He gets dd6 every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend from 5pm Friday till 5pm Sunday. He gets ds who is 4 months old from 10am till 5pm on Saturdays of that same weekend. No overnight visitation with ds until he turns 1. He also gets them from 5-7pm on Wednesdays every week. Is this fair? Do you think the judge will keep it as is or change it?

ETA...

I don't want him having overnight visitation with ds because he doesn't hear him at night when he wakes up to eat. I am willing to slowly introduce overnights as soon as ds starts sleeping through the night but not before then.
I'm willing to offer more night visits during the week if he wants them but he works late most nights.
I did give him right of first refusal in regards to babysitting.
Holiday schedule is as follows: He has the kids on father's day, his birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas Eve. I have them mother's day, my birthday, Easter, and Christmas day. Other holidays will be discussed and swapped.
He may have extra days with them during school breaks including summer vacation.
We are still living together until my apartment is ready on March 1st. I'd like to get this all settled before then.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:17 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:40 AM
You have zero control over what he does with his parenting time. It's a hard lesson to learn but one you will have to get used too.

He is their father and deserves a chance. He might surprise you on his parenting skills when it comes down to it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Ds still gets up in the middle of the night and stbxh doesn't hear him and even if he does he won't get up with him. I'm not going to make my son starve so stbxh can sit him in his swing in front of the tv for an extra day... He doesn't spend any time with him as it is because "babies just sit there."



Quoting Stephd710:

I would let both the kids go for the same amount of time.  My girls started overnights with their dad when they were 2 months old. They did fine.  Unless you are breastfeeding him, I would let him have the overnights.  

Kerannmer
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:42 AM

How is absurd to imply that fathers are an equal parent? My husband sure as hell is.  


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.

It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.

And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.


Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.



 

QueenBof6
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Since when are fathers not equal parents? And why aren't they?

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.



It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.



And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.




Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:44 AM
I replied above about why I don't want ds to have overnight visits. I have no problem offering another day. It is so short because he gets out of work at 4:30 and dd's bed time is 7:30. I did put in right of first refusal. I also will be providing all transportation until he gets a car.

Quoting Anonymous:

Unless your breastfeeding a judge will require overnights with the infant for the same amount of time as the 6 year old.



Also since the time for the weekday visit is so short, you will probably be required to offer another day.





Also right of first refusal is a good stipulation to have. Basically if you or your ex has to work or something comes up you get to decide if you would like to have the kids or let them go to a babysitters for that time.

CheesyKitty
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:44 AM
My husband is 100% as equal a parent as I am. I would never say otherwise and I was/will soon be a sahm.


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.



It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.



And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.




Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.



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Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:45 AM
No. Absolutely not fair.

Every other weekend and a couple hours a week? No way!

Why won'te the baby be doing overnights also?

I would change it that he gets them every weekend except the last weekend of the month. He also should get them 3 nights a week from school letting out until 6:30. He should get every other holiday and half of school vacations. That includes summer break.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:45 AM

You're a terrible mom with an attitude like that.


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.

It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.

And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.


Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.




Luna091306
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:47 AM

 If he can provide a good stable home and he is a good father, I agree with this. I think this is always ideal, but I know it's not always possible.

Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.

 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:48 AM
So he carried them for 4.5 months, gave birth, and breast fed them?

With a 4 month old, no he's not an equal. And my husband never will be. No matter how old they get.


Quoting Kerannmer:

How is absurd to imply that fathers are an equal parent? My husband sure as hell is.  




Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.

It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.

And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.



Quoting Miller0305:


50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.





 


LovelyMommy24
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:49 AM

I do not have experience with this so I'm not much help but it sounds good to me. Is there a reason you don't want the baby staying the night until he's 1? The judge might ask about that.

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