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is this a fair visitation schedule? eta...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
This is my proposed visitation schedule for our upcoming divorce. The kids live with me full time. He gets dd6 every 1st 3rd and 5th weekend from 5pm Friday till 5pm Sunday. He gets ds who is 4 months old from 10am till 5pm on Saturdays of that same weekend. No overnight visitation with ds until he turns 1. He also gets them from 5-7pm on Wednesdays every week. Is this fair? Do you think the judge will keep it as is or change it?

ETA...

I don't want him having overnight visitation with ds because he doesn't hear him at night when he wakes up to eat. I am willing to slowly introduce overnights as soon as ds starts sleeping through the night but not before then.
I'm willing to offer more night visits during the week if he wants them but he works late most nights.
I did give him right of first refusal in regards to babysitting.
Holiday schedule is as follows: He has the kids on father's day, his birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas Eve. I have them mother's day, my birthday, Easter, and Christmas day. Other holidays will be discussed and swapped.
He may have extra days with them during school breaks including summer vacation.
We are still living together until my apartment is ready on March 1st. I'd like to get this all settled before then.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:17 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:49 AM

What woman has carried a child for only 4.5 months?


Quoting Anonymous:

So he carried them for 4.5 months, gave birth, and breast fed them?

With a 4 month old, no he's not an equal. And my husband never will be. No matter how old they get.
kidlover2
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Well... I would tell the OP that the judge will decide in the favor of as much as the parents want. If the father wants equal time, that's what he gets. But... in the case of my lovely ex-husband, he decided he no longer wanted to be a father, so I have full custody of my 3 girls and it is often a fight to get him to take them for 4 hours a week.

Quoting QueenBof6:

Since when are fathers not equal parents? And why aren't they?



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.





It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.





And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.






Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:49 AM
Okay.

My kids are healthy and happy, so I'm fine with being whatever kind of mom you think I am.


Quoting Anonymous:

You're a terrible mom with an attitude like that.



Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.



It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.



And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.





Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.







Luna091306
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:49 AM

 How are they not equal parents???? WTF?

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.

It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.

And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.


Quoting Miller0305:

50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.


 

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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:50 AM

You don't get to decide these things.  You have what you want, he has what he wants and the judge will decide what's going to happen.

What kind of schedule does he want?


Quoting Anonymous:

I replied above about why I don't want ds to have overnight visits. I have no problem offering another day. It is so short because he gets out of work at 4:30 and dd's bed time is 7:30. I did put in right of first refusal. I also will be providing all transportation until he gets a car. 
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:50 AM

No it's not fair.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Pregnancy is 9 months. So EQUAL patenting would mean he carried them 1/2 the time.

4.5 months.


Quoting Anonymous:

What woman has carried a child for only 4.5 months?



Quoting Anonymous:

So he carried them for 4.5 months, gave birth, and breast fed them?



With a 4 month old, no he's not an equal. And my husband never will be. No matter how old they get.

nataliesmom2012
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:51 AM

 50/50 is fair. What you're suggesting is not 50/50.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:51 AM

Equal parenting time starts when the child is born.  Any judge will tell you that.


Quoting Anonymous:

Pregnancy is 9 months. So EQUAL patenting would mean he carried them 1/2 the time.

4.5 months.


Quoting Anonymous:

What woman has carried a child for only 4.5 months?



Quoting Anonymous:

So he carried them for 4.5 months, gave birth, and breast fed them?



With a 4 month old, no he's not an equal. And my husband never will be. No matter how old they get.



Kerannmer
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:52 AM

Sorry, I don't play the "but I carried them and gave birth to them so I have ALL THE POWER" card. And yes, I breatfed, but that was for the health and well-being of our child, not so I could use it to say I have more rights as a parent.

I've never considered my husband to be anything but an equal. Guess I'm lucky. 


Quoting Anonymous:

So he carried them for 4.5 months, gave birth, and breast fed them?

With a 4 month old, no he's not an equal. And my husband never will be. No matter how old they get.


Quoting Kerannmer:

How is absurd to imply that fathers are an equal parent? My husband sure as hell is.  


 


Quoting Anonymous:

Yes she does.

It's absurd to imply that fathers are equal parents.

And if they aren't equal parents they should t get equal time.



Quoting Miller0305:


50/50 is fair.  You don't deserve more time just because you're the mother.



 


 



 

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