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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do I get rid of this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

My last relationship was anything but healthy. In a matter of 14 months I was dumped 6 times. The 7th and last time,I decieded enough was enough and didn' go back like I usually would. While we were together he would go to his ex's house to see his son. Yes that is all fine and dandy but come 10 or 11 o'clock at night the kid should be in bed. Well he was. My ex was just there to hang out with his ex-wife, till sometimes 2 in the morning. Ignoring my calls, texts, all of it. And these are just a few examples of the crap I put up with for WAY to long. NOW, I'm away from him...moved on. Got a good job, a place, Working on gettin all my traffic tickets taken care of. AND I've moved to a better relationship. ALthough it doesn't take alot to be better, this one is amazing. He bends over backwards for me, and he's so old fashion. Holding doors, doing the heavy work, and for the last week he's been even more amazing cause we learned I'm pregnant! But the anxiety is still there, If I can't get ahold of him, or if I feel he's being distant, I worry he's going to leave. And its completely ridiculous, cause I know he's happy with me. Its just from crap with my ex, I just want it all to stop.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AmyL3469
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:40 AM

Realize that he's different. I haven't had the best luck with anyone staying in my life, even from being a little kid. I had a hard time with this with my now husband when we started dating. We hung out once and then went a few weeks without talking because he was really busy with work, but I was worrying it was me. Turns out he had liked me for years before we hung out that time.. now we've been together for 7 years and are having our 3rd baby together.

aydensXmommy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:42 AM
Congrats on your pregnancy! Now, for the fun part. You HAVE to let that go. I know it's hard, but I have told my husband so many times that I'm NOT his exes, and I will NOT do him the same way they did him. After making him realize I am indeed ME and not them, things started getting better in our relationship. It took a while, but we did it. He just had to learn to trust again and let the past go. You can, too! Good luck! :)
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cupcake_mom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:43 AM

how long was it before you and this other guy got together after you and ex broke up? how long have you been together to be getting prego? not saying i think it wrong youre prego, i love kids, but me and my ex were only together for 3 months before i got prego with dd#1, and we deff didnt have time to get to know eachother, thats why i ended up in an abusive relationship

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:48 AM

 I had been single for about 6 months...Yes, my BF and I have not been together long at all..about 6 weeks now actually. We weren't worried about pregnancy cause he was told he couldn't have kids. Leave it to me to break that one. But baby or not, It's not like we are moving in together right away. Definently not marrying right away. Although that aspect in life happend fast and all, we are still tryin to take us rather slow...


Quoting cupcake_mom:

how long was it before you and this other guy got together after you and ex broke up? how long have you been together to be getting prego? not saying i think it wrong youre prego, i love kids, but me and my ex were only together for 3 months before i got prego with dd#1, and we deff didnt have time to get to know eachother, thats why i ended up in an abusive relationship


 

catrig
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:48 AM

You are going to have to work through your feelings.

opinionatedmom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this

 I will tell you what I was told when I was single. YOu will subconciously try to run him off. its a defense mechanism. and I did do it to a lot of guys. for some reason I am not doing it to this one. you have to learn to be happy with yourself before anyone else can be happy with you.  NOt all men are ass holes. there are good guys out there. what you are experiencing is normal. You are thinking your not worthy but you are. I have been with mine for 7 yrs but the first 2 yrs I had the exact same feeling you did.  this will pass. give it time.

cupcake_mom
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:54 AM

you just have to do like you said take it slow. be 100% honest with him. if you feel he is being distant tell him so, ask him if there is something going on with him, at work, at home etc that he might want to talk about. make sure he knows that it is not because of him that you have these feelings, if he loves you and wants to be with you he will work through this with you and support you. and maybe you need to go see a therapist, to help give you better ways of dealing with the issues you are having, and i dont mean "issues" in a bad way

Quoting Anonymous:

 I had been single for about 6 months...Yes, my BF and I have not been together long at all..about 6 weeks now actually. We weren't worried about pregnancy cause he was told he couldn't have kids. Leave it to me to break that one. But baby or not, It's not like we are moving in together right away. Definitely not marrying right away. Although that aspect in life happened fast and all, we are still tryin to take us rather slow...


Quoting cupcake_mom:

how long was it before you and this other guy got together after you and ex broke up? how long have you been together to be getting prego? not saying i think it wrong youre prego, i love kids, but me and my ex were only together for 3 months before i got prego with dd#1, and we deff didnt have time to get to know eachother, thats why i ended up in an abusive relationship




LovelyMommy24
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:57 AM

You have to realize he is not that other man. I'm sorry that guy did a lot of damage to your trust but you can't let one bad apple ruin them all. 

Sept-babies2
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:26 AM
you sounds exactly like me. I had the same thing happen to me two years ago. My ex would go see his daughter at his ex's house almost every day. Finally left. I met this great guy just how you explained above. At first i got really afraid he was going to leave me. All the time. Or if he was distant i tried so hard to figure out what was going on in his head. Anyways we got married and have been very happy since. Just give it time. Eventualy it will go away like it did for me. I also talked to my dh about it and he tries his very hardest to make sure i never feel that way.you should really try explaining the feelings you have to him and maybe it will help.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:30 AM

I honestly have told him. Explained I have huge trust issues and that I try not to take it out on him. He just smiles and tells me to "get outta there" and that he's not going anywhere. He works extra hard to make me feel secure. Which is so nice.


Quoting Sept-babies2:

you sounds exactly like me. I had the same thing happen to me two years ago. My ex would go see his daughter at his ex's house almost every day. Finally left. I met this great guy just how you explained above. At first i got really afraid he was going to leave me. All the time. Or if he was distant i tried so hard to figure out what was going on in his head. Anyways we got married and have been very happy since. Just give it time. Eventualy it will go away like it did for me. I also talked to my dh about it and he tries his very hardest to make sure i never feel that way.you should really try explaining the feelings you have to him and maybe it will help.


 

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