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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i told my x he can not see ds

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

my x is an abusive drunk. he has been in and our of ds's life for years. there is a lot of other issues thats he just ignores. a few weeks before Christmas we talked and I laid it out for him as simply as i could. if he wants to be involed he needs to do a few things. First pay some kind of child support, i dont care if it's 20 bucks a week but take responsibility. Second he needs see him on a consistentbasis. the court order says he gets him every other weekend but my ds can not sleep over where he lives and will go months with out trying to see him. The last thing was to call. He has never called ds just to talk or see if he was ok or needed anything. I have never said he could not call and when ds is with him I call him.

So when he called last week to see if he could take ds for the day I said no. I told him again if he wants to see him he needs to pay support and be consistent! He hung up and I have not heard from him sense. I am so glad that I have sole custody and final decision making power. I will be going back to court soon to propose that he gives up all rights and stop the support order. if he does not want to be a father I will make it very easy for him.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:47 AM
Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.
LovelyMommy24
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:48 AM
All you had to do was say the word abusive... got it.
jillbailey26
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Is he still drinking and abusive?

Like a PP said, child support and visitation are two separate things.  One has no bearing on the other.  You cannot keep his son away from him for simply not giving you money.  However, if he is still drinking and he is still abusive, it becomes a safety issue.  That, I can understand.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:55 AM

 they do and they dont. Its been six months and ll i expect is for him to do something! I have more then just that reason for saying no. I dont want some pos in and out of ds's life. my x works under the table and can afford to get drunk he should be able to support his kid. we have gone through the courts for years and I have no fear. where we live they really dont do anything except write the court order. which is why we are in such a pickle.

Quoting Anonymous:

Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.

 

Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:59 AM

I hate women who throw fits and combine money with visitation with the kid.

In the end she loses anyway. And most likely the child will end up resenting her. Which can you blame them.

I don't get child support and I let my sons email their actual father ... He is Germany otherwise I would allow visits as well.  

Quoting Anonymous:

Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.


I am a friend, a wife,a daughter but the best title I have by far is Mother .













Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:00 PM

 he says he is clean but i know he is still drinking. he lives in a very small town and i hear it all. one night we went there to go to dinner with my parents and we saw my x drunk outside a bar yelling at cars. he saw us, with my ds, and yelled at us! I dont care about the money I want him to be responsible. He has never has to be a parent and I dont think he wants too.  Plus he lives with his child molester father so i dont want ds at his house. I 100% feel i am in the right.

Quoting jillbailey26:

Is he still drinking and abusive?

Like a PP said, child support and visitation are two separate things.  One has no bearing on the other.  You cannot keep his son away from him for simply not giving you money.  However, if he is still drinking and he is still abusive, it becomes a safety issue.  That, I can understand.

 

Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:01 PM

They do not! Sorry!  Show me a state and verification that visitation hinges on PAYMENT! 

I have 2 kids I support and I don't cry to my ex for money!


Quoting Anonymous:

 they do and they dont. Its been six months and ll i expect is for him to do something! I have more then just that reason for saying no. I dont want some pos in and out of ds's life. my x works under the table and can afford to get drunk he should be able to support his kid. we have gone through the courts for years and I have no fear. where we live they really dont do anything except write the court order. which is why we are in such a pickle.

Quoting Anonymous:

Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.



I am a friend, a wife,a daughter but the best title I have by far is Mother .













Mocking.Jay
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:02 PM
Look at you, sanctimommy!

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

They do not! Sorry!  Show me a state and verification that visitation hinges on PAYMENT! 

I have 2 kids I support and I don't cry to my ex for money!


Quoting Anonymous:

 they do and they dont. Its been six months and ll i expect is for him to do something! I have more then just that reason for saying no. I dont want some pos in and out of ds's life. my x works under the table and can afford to get drunk he should be able to support his kid. we have gone through the courts for years and I have no fear. where we live they really dont do anything except write the court order. which is why we are in such a pickle.


Quoting Anonymous:

Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.



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surromama
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:02 PM
Most, if not all, courts will not allow a parent to sign over their rights and stop paying support unless there is another person adopting the child and taking over those rights. The child support is for the child so they want someone else taking over that responsibility.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:03 PM

 i agee but my situation is different. read the post and my replies if you want to understand. my x lives 30 minutes from us and never sees ds or calls by his own choose. I will not send ds unless there is consistent all around. One big thing is he needs to have his own place.

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

I hate women who throw fits and combine money with visitation with the kid.

In the end she loses anyway. And most likely the child will end up resenting her. Which can you blame them.

I don't get child support and I let my sons email their actual father ... He is Germany otherwise I would allow visits as well.  

Quoting Anonymous:

Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.


 

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