Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i told my x he can not see ds

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

my x is an abusive drunk. he has been in and our of ds's life for years. there is a lot of other issues thats he just ignores. a few weeks before Christmas we talked and I laid it out for him as simply as i could. if he wants to be involed he needs to do a few things. First pay some kind of child support, i dont care if it's 20 bucks a week but take responsibility. Second he needs see him on a consistentbasis. the court order says he gets him every other weekend but my ds can not sleep over where he lives and will go months with out trying to see him. The last thing was to call. He has never called ds just to talk or see if he was ok or needed anything. I have never said he could not call and when ds is with him I call him.

So when he called last week to see if he could take ds for the day I said no. I told him again if he wants to see him he needs to pay support and be consistent! He hung up and I have not heard from him sense. I am so glad that I have sole custody and final decision making power. I will be going back to court soon to propose that he gives up all rights and stop the support order. if he does not want to be a father I will make it very easy for him.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Replies (11-14):
sheymann
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:06 PM

Depending on your state only the father can give up his rights to the child.

That being said, visitation and CS are to seperate orders. However, if you say no because there is no safe place for him to sleep or live, the court won't do anything about it. They also probably won't care considering he rarely sees his son and doesn't make an effort, but be careful.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:09 PM

 support is not the only issue! but just so you know I have FINAL DESION MAKING! if i dont want him to go and god knows I have a lot of reasons i do not need to use support as one of them. This is just what I told my x he has to do. I dont want some pos in and out of my kids live! you can not be a parent once a year when you feel like it. It takes money and your time which he never gives anyway.

Every situation is different and dealing with the courts as long as i have you learn a few things. I am not in the wrong and the courts can not touch me. my son is well awear of everything that happens and that it is not his fault. he knows his dad is a drunk and he is better off without him. sad but true.

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

They do not! Sorry!  Show me a state and verification that visitation hinges on PAYMENT! 

I have 2 kids I support and I don't cry to my ex for money!


Quoting Anonymous:

 they do and they dont. Its been six months and ll i expect is for him to do something! I have more then just that reason for saying no. I dont want some pos in and out of ds's life. my x works under the table and can afford to get drunk he should be able to support his kid. we have gone through the courts for years and I have no fear. where we live they really dont do anything except write the court order. which is why we are in such a pickle.

Quoting Anonymous:

Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:10 PM
I know what you mean.
When I was divorcing my ex, he paid us nothing, left us with nothing. I got back on my feet by myself, still allowed him visitation and when he finally went back to court(for something really stupid), the court found out he wasn't paying anything and ordered him to start paying.

I now put 3/4 of the child support away every month for the girls college. The rest I use for prescriptions for one child(major medical issues) and for food for the kids.


Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

I hate women who throw fits and combine money with visitation with the kid.

In the end she loses anyway. And most likely the child will end up resenting her. Which can you blame them.

I don't get child support and I let my sons email their actual father ... He is Germany otherwise I would allow visits as well.  

Quoting Anonymous:

Child support and visitation can not go hand in hand. If he takes you back to court, you will like foolish in the eyes of the judge.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:40 PM

bump

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN