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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

adoption vs. abortion

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/learn-about-adoption-waiting-children.html

There are over 550,000 children in foster care in the United States.

Children of color outnumber white children in foster care. Of the children in foster care:

  • 39% were Black non-Hispanic;
  • 34% were White non-Hispanic;
  • 17% were Hispanic;
  • 2% were American Indian/Alaskan Native;
  • 1% Asian/Pacific Islander; and
  • 7% were of unknown or other racial/ethnic background.



The average (mean) age of children in foster care was 9.9 years. The average (mean) length of time that children had been in foster care was 32 months.

The United States Department of Health and Human Services estimates that as many as 127,000 children in foster care needed adoptive families. The ethnic backgrounds of these children are as follows:

  • 42% were African American
  • 32% were White
  • 15% were Hispanic
  • 1% were Native American/Alaskan Native
  • 1% were Asian/Pacific Islander
  • 8% were of unknown/unable to determine ethnic backgrounds



The average mean age of children waiting to be adopted is 7.9 years. More than 70% of the children are under the age of 11.

The mean length of time that these children have been in foster care is 44 months.

____________________________________________________________

This being said, can I ask WHY people who are against abortion always use the "give the baby up for adoption" arguement when their are already plenty of kids waiting to be adopted? why add to that number?

I am pro choice, but I just hate when a prolifer uses this arguement about people waiting to adopt and to give the baby up for adoption to one of those couples when there is already a bunch of children waiting on a home.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:24 PM
Replies (91-100):
duejan13th
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:14 AM
Bump
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 18 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:20 AM

1.  a child in foster care you have to be a glorified baby sitter for until the parent looses their rights and you can adopt them.  So you can have a kid in your home for over a year.  then mom and dad get their self together, and the kid is taken from you.  and you have to try again.  I couldn't do that.  I would be broken if i had a kid for a while and then they were taken from me.

2.  Alot of people want to adopt 3 and under kids.  A agency is a guarintee to get that.  it is harder to find a child that age in the foster system.


matofour
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:22 AM
Those are some big numbers, you forgot to mention that most of those children are deemed unadoptable. Why? Their parents rights have not been terminated, foster cares main priority is reunification.

And the other thing that drives me insane, is why is it a horrible thing to want to adopt an infant? People want to experience all parts of parenthood. Why should they give up their desire to parent an infant on up because they can't get pregnant? Just because someone can't conceive doesn't mean they should give up wanting a baby. Many people think if you can't conceive you should settle for whatever child is thrown your way.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:24 AM
1 mom liked this
It really bothers me when adoption is talked about, like it is the most selfless act a mother can make. Funny thing is, when it is all over, BM is forgotten, tossed aside and left alone to deal with the repercussions of her choice. Pl'ers act like either choice is easy and rarely give women any credit for thinking it out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:26 AM
It's not horrible to want an infant. It is horrible to expect our laws to change so more women are forced into gestation so you can have an infant.

Quoting matofour:

Those are some big numbers, you forgot to mention that most of those children are deemed unadoptable. Why? Their parents rights have not been terminated, foster cares main priority is reunification.



And the other thing that drives me insane, is why is it a horrible thing to want to adopt an infant? People want to experience all parts of parenthood. Why should they give up their desire to parent an infant on up because they can't get pregnant? Just because someone can't conceive doesn't mean they should give up wanting a baby. Many people think if you can't conceive you should settle for whatever child is thrown your way.
matofour
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:28 AM
Adoptive parents are willing to wait. Yet, people complain they don't adopt out if foster care all the time.
If adoptive parents are willing to wait, why complain they aren't adopting out of foster care.
I am not sure where anyone has asked for any laws to change to recieve an infant either.


Quoting Anonymous:

It's not horrible to want an infant. It is horrible to expect our laws to change so more women are forced into gestation so you can have an infant.



Quoting matofour:

Those are some big numbers, you forgot to mention that most of those children are deemed unadoptable. Why? Their parents rights have not been terminated, foster cares main priority is reunification.





And the other thing that drives me insane, is why is it a horrible thing to want to adopt an infant? People want to experience all parts of parenthood. Why should they give up their desire to parent an infant on up because they can't get pregnant? Just because someone can't conceive doesn't mean they should give up wanting a baby. Many people think if you can't conceive you should settle for whatever child is thrown your way.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 18 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:29 AM

Placing a child for adoption is different than having yoru child taken from you and in the foster system.

a Newborn that is placed for adoption will 99% of the time go through a agency, and will be in a loving home before they are a week old.

there are more Adoptive parents registered with agencies than babys placed each year.  this is why it takes couples some times years to adopt.  If more people had their child and placed it, then it would be easier for couples to adopt.

As for the Foster system,  you have to wait, wait for the kids parents to loose their rights before you can adopt them.  Some times kids are in your home, you fall in love with them. Then the parents get their kids back.  Why would some one want to go through that if their goal is to adopt in the end. 


Quoting Anonymous:

My questions is for the prolifers who say "put it up for adoption" but then turn around and have thier own biological children instead of adopting. Who are you to talk when you aren't doing anything to solve the problem of so many children needing a home and you are pushing for another child to be added to the strain of an already overflowing system?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 20 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:30 AM
3 moms liked this
Quoting Anonymous:

You forgot to include all the hoops people have to jump through, and the insane cost and such it is to adopt children in this country. And to be honest, I wouldn't want to adopt out of the foster care system.



We adopted two children out of the foster care system, yes it was a little bit of a long process, but worth it. The only cost to us was the court costs and we get that back when we file our taxes. I thank God everyday their bio Mom kept them, if she would have aborted, we wouldnt be a family.
uriahadel
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:30 AM
2 moms liked this
You have it all wrong. Yes I am prolife. But people who choose to carry their babies and adopt them out do not go into the foster system. The mothers choose the adopted parents and the babies are adopted at birth. You are talking about children in the foster care that were abused, neglected and abandoned by their families, children that were taken from their families to protect them. Their parents didn't care enough to give them to a good family at birth so cps had to step in and take those kids. Those are two different situations and you can't compare the two.

I was adopted at the age of nine, and my parents had to go through all kinds of things to be able to adopt me, and most people even go through more then what they had to, and it is a long process.

There are a lot of people looking to adopt babies. People don't want to go to the foster system and adopt because the children are usually older and come with a lot of issues that people aren't familiar with. They would rather adopt an infant that they can raise and know their background. There are more families out there looking to adopt babies then there are people willing to give their babies up for adoption.

The adoption at birth isn't the issue here. The issue is parents getting pregnant and killing their babies or deciding to keep their babies and end up abusing, neglecting or abandoning them later. That is the issue... there are a lot of people who are willing to adopt, and I have never known anyone looking into adoption for their newborn get turned away. They always find adopted homes for newborns. Newborns do not go into the system if the mother decided to put them up for adoption... now newborn who were addicted to drugs do because cps main goal is to reunite the child and mother again so they won't adopt that baby out until they have no other choice, and that usually takes years before that happens


Quoting Anonymous:

My questions is for the prolifers who say "put it up for adoption" but then turn around and have thier own biological children instead of adopting. Who are you to talk when you aren't doing anything to solve the problem of so many children needing a home and you are pushing for another child to be added to the strain of an already overflowing system?


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:31 AM
It's just the general sentiment of pl. that plenty of parents are willing to adopt newborns, an abortion ban would "fill the demand".

Quoting matofour:

Adoptive parents are willing to wait. Yet, people complain they don't adopt out if foster care all the time.

If adoptive parents are willing to wait, why complain they aren't adopting out of foster care.

I am not sure where anyone has asked for any laws to change to recieve an infant either.




Quoting Anonymous:

It's not horrible to want an infant. It is horrible to expect our laws to change so more women are forced into gestation so you can have an infant.





Quoting matofour:

Those are some big numbers, you forgot to mention that most of those children are deemed unadoptable. Why? Their parents rights have not been terminated, foster cares main priority is reunification.







And the other thing that drives me insane, is why is it a horrible thing to want to adopt an infant? People want to experience all parts of parenthood. Why should they give up their desire to parent an infant on up because they can't get pregnant? Just because someone can't conceive doesn't mean they should give up wanting a baby. Many people think if you can't conceive you should settle for whatever child is thrown your way.

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