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What is his role in all of this?

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In your opinion, what should be the role of the father in the early months of a child's life?  

I have newborn twins, and I am curious what responsibilities most dads have.  Tell me a little about your husband's role in your child's babyhood.  What did he do?  How did you feel about his role?


**I would really like to get an accurate picture of how most couples handle new baby responsibilities, so please include any relevant information that explains your personal situation.  IE: "I did everything on my own because he was deployed." or "My husband took care of as many feedings and diaperings as me, but he was unemployed at the time."

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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:56 PM
Replies (11-20):
imultracool
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:10 PM
For the first two weeks dh took off work to stay home and help me. I had bad ppd. We took turns staying up with her for the every two hour feedings. Dh went back to work after the two weeks and I took over for the most part. But dh would watch the baby while I napped. He's always been really helpful with the kids. He knows he has just as much responsibility in raising them as I do. I also make sure he has time to relax and everything though.
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Tooth_Inspector
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:10 PM
My ex husband avoided all fatherly duties but my current husband and I had a baby 6 months ago and we are parenting together, the way it should be. He is a stay at home dad mon-Thursday as I have 3 day weekends. He gets up at night when I'm working and I take that shift on my days off. He does laundry and cleaning and I catch up when I can. He makes the meals, I do the dishes. We work together on everything. He gets my oldest ready for school, packs her lunches, and takes her. He's amazing.
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NoahandEliza
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:11 PM
Everything I did. We rotated night feedings and when he was home, it was daddy/baby time. He rarely did bath time, but that's because I prefer they bathe in the morning and he wasn't home. He was awesome about understanding they were OUR babies, not just mine to take care of. Still is.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this
I do pretty much everything. Monday - Friday he is either sleeping or working. He sleeps most of the weekend too, because he stays up too late at night messing around on the computer. I was a single mother once, and honestly, that was a lot easier.
CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:13 PM

I pretty much did everything on my own early on because DD wasn't around but was away in training.  It was really difficult and truthfully, I feel like him and DD missed bonding time. 

StacyO722
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:13 PM

 I did most of the care giving. I'm a SAHM, so I was home almost all of the time. He had to get up in the morning to go to work, I didn't, so I did the night time feedings. He did feed the baby, and make up bottles if needed. He would change the baby or basically do anything needed if he was around. And weekend mornings were his. He would wake up with her and be in charge till I got up a couple hours later than normal :) He still takes weekend mornings to have daddy/daughter time and she's 3 1/2. They really enjoy that 1 on 1 time together.

1likeme
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:14 PM
My Ex was involved as much as he could be but all three were different. When I had our first child (my second) I had complications so for the first six weeks he did most of the care for our son. With our second I felt great and we tag teamed most of the care except for the feedings because I was able to BF exclusively. With our third he was deployed the first nine months and when he returned he did help but not as much as he did with the first two. He bonded with all three just fine but he came back very self centered and just didn't help me much. With our first two he took six weeks of FMLA.
smushy79
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:15 PM

 Dh and I alternated feedings throughout the night. Same thing with diaper changes. He actually did a majority of the baths because I was scared and I knew he would have a better handle on the baby, lol.  He is close to our kids.

AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:15 PM

My husband helped me with the feedings, he helped me with the diapers. He got up in the middle of the night with them on occasion. 

Derari
by :::Achtung::: on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:16 PM

He would hold the baby a lot so I could rest, or nap. He helped change diapers all the time, he didn't like the poopy ones so he commented on that in the beginning but that went away quickly. I liked doing everything for the babies so not sure what Ose there was for him to do. He did more around the house when the kids were infants.

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