What is his role in all of this?

[LuLuThatsWho]

In your opinion, what should be the role of the father in the early months of a child's life?  

I have newborn twins, and I am curious what responsibilities most dads have.  Tell me a little about your husband's role in your child's babyhood.  What did he do?  How did you feel about his role?

**I would really like to get an accurate picture of how most couples handle new baby responsibilities, so please include any relevant information that explains your personal situation.  IE: "I did everything on my own because he was deployed." or "My husband took care of as many feedings and diaperings as me, but he was unemployed at the time."

[Love060708kids]

My husband is in the Army; he would help with diaper changes when the baby was little, feedings were up to me because I nursed them.  He cooked dinner, if he was able to be home.

My youngest baby is 2 now, so it's been easier.  We've been enjoying watching them grow up since I had my tubes tied :)

[conejoazul]

My husband struggled to get attached initially when DS was born, but you would only know it if you knew him well enough personally to see his turmoil at becoming a dad again in his 40´s. To watch his actions though, you wouldn´t have sensed it: he helped with diaper making and diaper changes, then became an ECing dad by the time DS was 12 weeks old. He baby-wore using his own Daddy pouch sling and became known as the baby-wearing daddy around town.  Now that DS is older, DH is very active in his meal and snack times ( we´re EBF, so bottles aren´t an issue).  I wouldn´t leave you with the impression that he loves all of it, though.  He still thinks babies are a lot of work and DS stresses him out, but he has taken on a bigger role with DS than what he originally felt comfortable with.

[happinessforyou]

I was a SAHM both times when our 2 kids were little. DH worked fulltime. I was home with the kids. He did everything I did as soon as he came home.

We alternated nights every other night so we could at least get 1 full night sleep. If the kid got up 3 times on his night he got up with the kid every time. On my night I got up every time. KWIM???

[queen_k0302]

My dh changed diapers and if she woke up at night, he tended to them. He also helped with cleaning and shopping. Dh did things 50/50. We know each others weaknesses and strengths. My babies rarely woke up at night. I can not wake from a dead sleep for nothing. He don't function will in the morning while i do. If one needed help the other just stepped up. It just worked without even really discussing it. He gets 2 days off per week and i get one of those. We work good as a team.

[Anonymous]

My husband was only around dd for five weeks then he deployed, returning when she was 8 months. He took up where he left off

With dd2 he was very hands on because he was home much more. He does bedtime and helps with dinner but honestly prefers that I do baths and diapers

[Anonymous]

i did almost everything, because he himself was still a kid.










my bad.

[usmcwifey11]

I did it all because he was deployed.

When he came home, he was very involved.

[LuLuThatsWho]

So you would consider it unreasonable for a mother of 5 week old twins to be breastfeeding with no help with pumped bottles, home alone with the babies from 7am-7pm Monday-Friday with the addition of a 2 year old on Tuesday and Thursday, shuttling the 2 and 4 year olds back and forth to school with the twins in tow, packing all backpacks and lunches, giving all 4 kids baths, preparing all meals, doing all laundry, doing all housekeeping, grocery shopping, going to doctor's appointments with all kids alone, and doing roughly 95% of nighttime feedings, diapering, soothing, etc.. ???

Quoting Miller0305:

My husband did it all: feedings, even in the middle of the night, diapers, etc.  You name it, he did it even though I was on maternitiy leave and he worked.  Now with twins, your husband for sure needs to step it up and help you.

[weaveress]

Mine didn't do much. It irritated the crap out of me. I didn't expect him to feed the baby(s) as I was breastfeeding. but changing them, snuggling them, just holding them. I expected him to do that. 

[LuLuThatsWho]

I wish I knew what you mean.  At my house, when a baby cries, I get up. :(

Quoting happinessforyou:

I was a SAHM both times when our 2 kids were little. DH worked fulltime. I was home with the kids. He did everything I did as soon as he came home.

We alternated nights every other night so we could at least get 1 full night sleep. If the kid got up 3 times on his night he got up with the kid every time. On my night I got up every time. KWIM???