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What is his role in all of this?

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In your opinion, what should be the role of the father in the early months of a child's life?  

I have newborn twins, and I am curious what responsibilities most dads have.  Tell me a little about your husband's role in your child's babyhood.  What did he do?  How did you feel about his role?


**I would really like to get an accurate picture of how most couples handle new baby responsibilities, so please include any relevant information that explains your personal situation.  IE: "I did everything on my own because he was deployed." or "My husband took care of as many feedings and diaperings as me, but he was unemployed at the time."

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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:56 PM
Replies (21-30):
Love060708kids
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:16 PM

My husband is in the Army; he would help with diaper changes when the baby was little, feedings were up to me because I nursed them.  He cooked dinner, if he was able to be home.

My youngest baby is 2 now, so it's been easier.  We've been enjoying watching them grow up since I had my tubes tied :)

conejoazul
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:17 PM

My husband struggled to get attached initially when DS was born, but you would only know it if you knew him well enough personally to see his turmoil at becoming a dad again in his 40´s. To watch his actions though, you wouldn´t have sensed it: he helped with diaper making and diaper changes, then became an ECing dad by the time DS was 12 weeks old. He baby-wore using his own Daddy pouch sling and became known as the baby-wearing daddy around town.  Now that DS is older, DH is very active in his meal and snack times ( we´re EBF, so bottles aren´t an issue).  I wouldn´t leave you with the impression that he loves all of it, though.  He still thinks babies are a lot of work and DS stresses him out, but he has taken on a bigger role with DS than what he originally felt comfortable with.

happinessforyou
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:18 PM

I was a SAHM both times when our 2 kids were little. DH worked fulltime. I was home with the kids. He did everything I did as soon as he came home.

We alternated nights every other night so we could at least get 1 full night sleep. If the kid got up 3 times on his night he got up with the kid every time. On my night I got up every time. KWIM???

queen_k0302
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:18 PM
My dh changed diapers and if she woke up at night, he tended to them. He also helped with cleaning and shopping. Dh did things 50/50. We know each others weaknesses and strengths. My babies rarely woke up at night. I can not wake from a dead sleep for nothing. He don't function will in the morning while i do. If one needed help the other just stepped up. It just worked without even really discussing it. He gets 2 days off per week and i get one of those. We work good as a team.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:19 PM
My husband was only around dd for five weeks then he deployed, returning when she was 8 months. He took up where he left off

With dd2 he was very hands on because he was home much more. He does bedtime and helps with dinner but honestly prefers that I do baths and diapers
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:19 PM
i did almost everything, because he himself was still a kid.










my bad.
usmcwifey11
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:21 PM
I did it all because he was deployed.

When he came home, he was very involved.
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LuLuThatsWho
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:22 PM

So you would consider it unreasonable for a mother of 5 week old twins to be breastfeeding with no help with pumped bottles, home alone with the babies from 7am-7pm Monday-Friday with the addition of a 2 year old on Tuesday and Thursday, shuttling the 2 and 4 year olds back and forth to school with the twins in tow, packing all backpacks and lunches, giving all 4 kids baths, preparing all meals, doing all laundry, doing all housekeeping, grocery shopping, going to doctor's appointments with all kids alone, and doing roughly 95% of nighttime feedings, diapering, soothing, etc.. ???


Quoting Miller0305:

My husband did it all: feedings, even in the middle of the night, diapers, etc.  You name it, he did it even though I was on maternitiy leave and he worked.  Now with twins, your husband for sure needs to step it up and help you.



weaveress
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:25 PM

Mine didn't do much. It irritated the crap out of me. I didn't expect him to feed the baby(s) as I was breastfeeding. but changing them, snuggling them, just holding them. I expected him to do that. 

LuLuThatsWho
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I wish I knew what you mean.  At my house, when a baby cries, I get up. :(


Quoting happinessforyou:

I was a SAHM both times when our 2 kids were little. DH worked fulltime. I was home with the kids. He did everything I did as soon as he came home.

We alternated nights every other night so we could at least get 1 full night sleep. If the kid got up 3 times on his night he got up with the kid every time. On my night I got up every time. KWIM???



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