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What is his role in all of this?

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In your opinion, what should be the role of the father in the early months of a child's life?  

I have newborn twins, and I am curious what responsibilities most dads have.  Tell me a little about your husband's role in your child's babyhood.  What did he do?  How did you feel about his role?

**I would really like to get an accurate picture of how most couples handle new baby responsibilities, so please include any relevant information that explains your personal situation.  IE: "I did everything on my own because he was deployed." or "My husband took care of as many feedings and diaperings as me, but he was unemployed at the time."

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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:56 PM
Replies (41-50):
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:38 PM
Quoting LuLuThatsWho:

My dad never did and I wasn't close to him until I was 16. My friends husband did nothing at all but ignore the baby until she walked and talked and they are super close now. Dh and ds have always been like that. He's closer to dh than me. He would rather snuggle and hajg out with dh.
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:41 PM

DH was very hands on when our son was little. He still is for the most part.

by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:44 PM
I have one child. I was a stay at home mom for the first year. My Dh still took turns with everything baby related when he was home. He tried to clean but I did put my foot down about that. He needed to bond with our child, cause that's what ds is, OUR child, ya know?
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:48 PM

 he didn't really do too much with our first. with our second he has seemed to come around a little bit, helping with feedings and what not. but for some reason he refuses to change our daughter's diaper lol

by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:51 PM

With number one, He was working 12 hours a day, and when he'd come home he'd grab out daughter and put her on his chest and lay with her till they both fell asleep. I would take a shower and have about an hour of mommy time before she'd wake up to eat. (breastfeeding) I'm a very heavy sleeper, so It was rare that I'd wake up if she was whimpering. He is a very light sleeper, so he would wake up immediately. He would grab her, cuddle her, and put her on my boob. As she got older, she was very attached to her daddy, and he was always taking care of her. I never had a problem.

With #2, our boy, he had his own business, and worked from 6 in the morning to 7 at night. Once he got home, it was the same... he had to be carrying his baby, and his daughter was right at his side. (she was 6) You'll rarely see him change a diaper, but he's always with his babies. 

He didn't feed either of them with a bottle either. They wouldn't take a bottle, but he teach them to drink out of a cup. 

by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:51 PM
My husband works out of town Mon - Fri. He helps by doing extra housework when the babies are small. He doesn't get "hands on" until they're big enough to play with. My youngest is 2 months old & this past weekend, my husband interacted with him quite a bit. Diapers, baths, changing clothes are all on me.
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:52 PM
My hubs was working 65 hour weeks when both my kids were babies.

He would come home and jump into dad mode....whatever I needed a hand with he was always willing to help out.
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by Sapphire Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:53 PM
My fiancé and I don't have kids yet but I know the majority of the care taking will fall on me because he works out of town a lot.
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:54 PM
My dh wakes up with our ds and does morning feedings. He also does most of the cooking and cleaning because im finishing school and hes unemployed at the moment
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:54 PM
During rotations, which was two weeks every month, I did everything myself. My husband was hardly ever home, he was out in the box of Fort Irwin.
When he was home, he'd help out a little on the weekends, and hardly ever during the week.
I'll admit, we fought a lot. I wanted him to do more, he didn't understand how tired I was, and I didn't understand how tired he was. It took a long time to actually understand each other, but by then we were on a better routine.
Now, two years later, he his more than happy to help out, except changing diapers. He'll only do that if he has no other choice.
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