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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

No, I'm not embarrassed.

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      http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/17961023/Pray_for_my_baby_final_update 

READ and re-read if you don't get it. The picture I posted in this link is not the same picture my DF posted on FB that upset me. He can post pictures of his son all he wants I just did not want the picture where he has blood and tubes all over him posted. 


        Recently my LO had major surgery (refer to my link for more info on that) and we of course took a picture of him after just to have a picture of him with all his tubes and wires. My DF posted the picture on FB and I asked him to take it down. He later asked me if I was embarrassed of our child's current condition. I told him no I was not, I just felt it was not something to publicly display on FB. My dad ended up sharing it before my DF took it down. I explained to him there are about 400 or more people idk who are not close to us seeing that picture. It's a heart breaking picture of an infant in recovery. I told him I have no problem with showing the picture to select people but not the world. Do you agree with my decision to request they both remove the picture. Does it mean anything bad on my part to not want to display it like that?

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:09 PM
Replies (381-390):
angelmj
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:58 AM

Thank you :D 

Quoting BellaByrdie:

Like I said I do understand where your coming from. I wouldnt want a pic like that posted either. And as long as you would show him the same respect in regards to what gets posted about your little one then I don't see it as wrong.

By the way I hope you little one keeps getting better and better. I don't know who you are but god does so I'll light a candle for you.


Quoting angelmj:

He could have said no if he wanted to. I never demanded it be taken down I just asked. And he does have the power to say what he finds okay and not okay to post. I have taken things down -mostly pictures of him- at his request.




Quoting BellaByrdie:

I both agree and disagree. I wouldn't want that type of pic shared but it is his child too. And your father could have made it so that only select people can see the picture. But that is his son too. And while its good that he respects your wishes. I wonder did you talk to him about why he put it up there in the first place. He has the right to share his journey with his child just like you do. And dictating that he can't post something should also give him veto powers on the pics you post of him too.




debiq63
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:12 PM

Dearest  angelmj, if there's one thing that irks the heck out of me is when other people step in and presume to be able to dictate what decisions  others should make in their lives. YOU are the mother of this child and it is YOUR decision whether or not a photo should be shared with the world, not anyone else's! Yes, I agree with many of the other posters in that his heart was in the right place and there's nothing wrong with wanting to share something in order to elicit prayer and good will from others, but YOU are the mother and as soon as you felt any bit of discomfort about it the photo should have been removed, IMMEDIATELY, cased closed, done deal, enough said!

While I agree with many of the posters in that certain types of photos just shouldn't be displayed on FB, what they seem to be forgetting is that it's NOT the subject matter that's really the issue here but the fact that YOU the mother was not comfortable with it and that alone should have ended any debate about it immediately! How DARE anyone try and argue with you about whether or not a photo of your child should be posted! In the mean time, all my best to you and your family, my prayers and best wishes to your little one and prayers for speedy recovery! 

azeventdiva
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:04 PM

 I was responding to the woman who said her child was taped by a local news station at his daycare while his diaper was being changed


Quoting Sweet_Carol_126:

 

What TV station?  They posted it on FB (Facebook).  If the father took the photo he had a right to post it on facebook.  Grandpa saw it posted and reposted it to his status since it was his grandchild.  I don't think this was on TV or in the news or anything like that.  People are permitted to post their own photos on FB. 

If she wanted it down and asked them, they did take it down.  I don't see any harm done at all.  She wasn't embarrassed by it but just didn't want him on there looking helpless and injured. 

Quoting azeventdiva:

The TV station should of gotten some kind of release from you or SOMETHING. I would be looking into some kind of suit against the station if I were you.

 

 


 

Kool_Aide
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:07 PM

I don't understand being upset about it being posted on Facebook, but you posted it here on CM in your other post and made it public for the entire world to see. How are you any different if not worse according to your concern?

MommyMarcoux
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:27 PM

I understand your opinion about the picture. However, it is possible his view is very different. My daughter had open heart surgery when she was born. We took all of the pictures we could, partially because we were not sure she would make it and didn't want any time wasted. She came through and is now a healthy toddler. Those pictures of her in such a sad state are now a testament to all that she has overcome. She went from fighting for her life to growing into one of the happiest and sweetest little energizer-bunny-like toddlers alive. I am more proud of her than I can put into words. I do not think of those pictures as something to hide for only select people to see. Perhaps your "DF" thinks of it in more of this way than in the way you do. Now, please do not think that I am saying your view is wrong. It isn't. You are free to have whatever feelings that come to you about it and they are totally justified. I am simply saying that if he sees it differently, his feelings are justified, too. I can understand why he might have mistaken your wish for more privacy as a sign of embarrassment. For someone who has a view closer to the one we took with my daughter, being told that it was inappropriate could trigger that response. Perhaps you could try to ask him how he views it, so that it would be easier to understand him. On the same token, try to calmly tell him that it is an emotional topic for you and explain your feelings. Most of all, try to remember that you may not come to see things in the same way, but that you both deserve to have your feelings respected instead of dismissed or discouraged.

angelmj
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:06 PM
No I didn't, I post a picture of him before the surgery... I made that very clear I thought. The picture I'm talking about was of my son with tubes sticking out of his chest filled with some blood and fluids. And tons of wires, anyways he could post any other picture and I would have been just fine. Why would I tell him not to do something I did?


Quoting Kool_Aide:

I don't understand being upset about it being posted on Facebook, but you posted it here on CM in your other post and made it public for the entire world to see. How are you any different if not worse according to your concern?


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Kool_Aide
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:08 PM

It's a picture of your child either way!

Quoting angelmj:

No I didn't, I post a picture of him before the surgery... I made that very clear I thought. The picture I'm talking about was of my son with tubes sticking out of his chest filled with some blood and fluids. And tons of wires, anyways he could post any other picture and I would have been just fine. Why would I tell him not to do something I did?


Quoting Kool_Aide:

I don't understand being upset about it being posted on Facebook, but you posted it here on CM in your other post and made it public for the entire world to see. How are you any different if not worse according to your concern?



angelmj
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:12 PM
Well I'm not uncomfortable with most pictures being put up of our children.


Quoting Kool_Aide:

It's a picture of your child either way!

Quoting angelmj:

No I didn't, I post a picture of him before the surgery... I made that very clear I thought. The picture I'm talking about was of my son with tubes sticking out of his chest filled with some blood and fluids. And tons of wires, anyways he could post any other picture and I would have been just fine. Why would I tell him not to do something I did?





Quoting Kool_Aide:

I don't understand being upset about it being posted on Facebook, but you posted it here on CM in your other post and made it public for the entire world to see. How are you any different if not worse according to your concern?





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RevivingOphelia
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 6:41 PM
For us, it was to capture his journey. Part of his journey was his surgery, and the stay in the hospital. My son had a cranial vault reconstruction, so it's different than the OP. but I'm guessing their thinking was along the same line.


Quoting Celtic_Dragon:

WTF you'd want to take a picture of something like that, I don't know. It's not like you wont always remember the image of your child covered in blood and hooked up to machines. It will always haunt you. So why take a photograph of it? Especially if you have no interest in sharing it to begin with. . .



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angelmj
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:36 PM
Yes exactly, I'm going to make a scrap book of his hospital stay to show him his brave journey and all he had to over come. To help explain how special he is to be here and how important it is that he always love and take care of himself. Be cause he is our hero.


Quoting RevivingOphelia:

For us, it was to capture his journey. Part of his journey was his surgery, and the stay in the hospital. My son had a cranial vault reconstruction, so it's different than the OP. but I'm guessing their thinking was along the same line.




Quoting Celtic_Dragon:

WTF you'd want to take a picture of something like that, I don't know. It's not like you wont always remember the image of your child covered in blood and hooked up to machines. It will always haunt you. So why take a photograph of it? Especially if you have no interest in sharing it to begin with. . .




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