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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

would you continue on as planned?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
Df and I have been engaged for a bit more than a year. We've known each other for six. I'm planning a huge wedding, mostly everything is paid for or almost paid for.
Last night we were talking and I asked him when he fell in love with me. He said he's not. He said he loves me and wants to marry me, but he's not in love with me.

Obviously I'm hurt and confused. I've always pictured spending the rest of my life with him. I can't imagine not being with him. Wwyd?
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wkukid
by Ocean Wave on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:33 PM

I wouldn't continue. You are settling if he isn't in love with you.

T-Rentsmommy06
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:34 PM
I couldn't be with someone I wasn't in love with, so my fear would be how long could he be? And do you feel like you deserve someone who isn't in love with you? If those are things you're ok with, then continue on. Me I would break it off and try to get as much money back as I could for the wedding.
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TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:35 PM
2 moms liked this

WHAT?????

Wow.  Well, at least he told you up front.  Move on.  He's told you who he is.  Believe him. 

40sandPreg
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:35 PM
I'd leave. You have more than a right to be hurt.
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malibucj
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:36 PM

Honey, I am not one of those "get out and leave" people. But from personal exprience, my husband said he would always love me, but he was not in love with me. That is nothing but a world of hurt. We are now separated. Tread carefullly.

smushy79
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:37 PM
I wouldn't marry someone who wasn't in love with me.
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bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:38 PM

I don't understand the difference between loving you and in love with you. aren't they the samething?

outtamymynd
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:39 PM
I wouldn't continue.
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Allebas
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:42 PM

Oh man!! I am so, so sorry!!! WHY didn't he tell you sooner? I couldn't imagine how hurt you must feel! :(

If I was in that situation, there is no way I could marry him! I made sure my DH told me before we decided to get married that only does he love me very, very much, but that he is IN LOVE with me very much as well! If he had not told me he was in love with me, or if he had said, "I love you but I am not in love with you." I would have ended everything right then and there! We have been married 20 years and still act like newlyweds b/c we still love each other and are still in love with each other!

Good luck with whatever decision you make-IMO, I don't think it will be a successful marriage unless you can settle for him not being 'in love' with you.  {{HUGS}}

angie944
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:42 PM

Is he saying that he doesnt love you, or he isnt "in love" with you anymore.. how long have you been together?  Maybe he is just saying the intense beginning feelings are gone... you know, that lusty in love feeling... 

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