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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

For those of you who are unhappily married.......why do you stay??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: This question is for anyone who is UNhappily married!! What is the reason(s) why you stay?? Select more than one answer if it will allow you.

Options:

a) for money/financial security

b) for the kids - don't want to break up the home

c) because you are afraid to be alone

d) you still kinda love him and hope that things will change for the better

e) because of your religious beliefs (don't believe in divorce)

f) you have serious health issues

g) several of the above


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 93

View Results

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:47 PM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:55 PM

 

Quoting LovelyMommy24:

I'm not but bump for answers, I'm very curious to see the results and can understand all of them. 

 Thanks, that's why I wrote this post!!  I was curious.  Sooo many people stay together and are miserable.  I would think that it would have to be one or more of the above reasons.  Did I leave something else out as an option?  Those were the main ones that came to mind!  lol

christyg
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:57 PM
2 moms liked this

I have been married for 24 years also :) ~ Some have been good and some have been bad. I always stayed because when I made the promise "for better or for worse", I knew that there would be times of both. If he was cheating or abusive, then it would be a different story. Life gets stressful and we tend to not treat our spouse the way that we should. Its easy to take advantage of the one who is always there, without intending to. 

My advice: ACTIIVELY love your spouse. Go out of your way to do/say nice things that you know he will appreciate. And make sure that you get alone time together. You have made it through the rough part, its just about to get good with the kids gone. At least give it a chance to get to know each other all over again before you throw in the towel. 

LovelyMommy24
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:01 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting LovelyMommy24:

I'm not but bump for answers, I'm very curious to see the results and can understand all of them. 

 Thanks, that's why I wrote this post!!  I was curious.  Sooo many people stay together and are miserable.  I would think that it would have to be one or more of the above reasons.  Did I leave something else out as an option?  Those were the main ones that came to mind!  lol

You're welcome - I'm glad you made it! That's very true, I was actually one of those women once. I was miserable but luckily enough he changed (Couple's therapy) and here we are happily today. I would add something about the abused women. When you're abused it's so hard to get out and break free. Other than that, I'm pretty sure you got them all! :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

It took a long time for us to throw in the towel.

We both had two marriages under our belts when we made the commitment. I refer to him as my EX-. The first one was my starter marriage (no kids) and the second is my Idiot EX-

The kind of EX- who, because his wages are garnished pays CS on a regular basis. But the kids and I would give up the money in a heart beat if he would interact with them.

The third, My EX- is a good man. How do I know this? Because he is a damn good father. Two of my kids aren't even his and he insists he gets them at least two times a month, holidays and summers.


We were both realy sad when we realized our mariage wouldn't work out. And it took 3 years and several BF/ GF to finally get a divorce.

Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:04 PM

IDK!  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I stay because I am trying to finish school so I can survive on my own.  Also I keep hoping that somehow he will change.  He makes an effort for a while and then he is back acting like an ass again.  It makes me sad.  Honestly unless he really truly commits to change and sticks with it I don't think we will last.  He makes a good living and works out of state so it makes it a little easier to stay while I am in school.  I hate even writing this, it makes my heart hurt because I do love him.  I just get sick of worrying about whether or not he is going to yell at me over something stupid or blame me for things not going his way even when it has nothing to do with me I am still somehow to blame according to him, that is tough to take.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:41 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I stay because I am trying to finish school so I can survive on my own.  Also I keep hoping that somehow he will change.  He makes an effort for a while and then he is back acting like an ass again.  It makes me sad.  Honestly unless he really truly commits to change and sticks with it I don't think we will last.  He makes a good living and works out of state so it makes it a little easier to stay while I am in school.  I hate even writing this, it makes my heart hurt because I do love him.  I just get sick of worrying about whether or not he is going to yell at me over something stupid or blame me for things not going his way even when it has nothing to do with me I am still somehow to blame according to him, that is tough to take.

 You are smart for waiting until you are finished school and in a job!!  It sounds like he may be somewhat verbally abusive to you.......that's not fair or right for him to treat you like that!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:42 PM
1 mom liked this
b,d,and e.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:44 PM
1 mom liked this

A & E

neecie85257
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this

because its the lesser of two evils living with dh i can do whatever i want and if i left i would be living with my mom and she treats me like im 12. 


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