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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

For those of you who are unhappily married.......why do you stay??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: This question is for anyone who is UNhappily married!! What is the reason(s) why you stay?? Select more than one answer if it will allow you.

Options:

a) for money/financial security

b) for the kids - don't want to break up the home

c) because you are afraid to be alone

d) you still kinda love him and hope that things will change for the better

e) because of your religious beliefs (don't believe in divorce)

f) you have serious health issues

g) several of the above


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 93

View Results

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:47 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:55 PM

 

Quoting neecie85257:

because its the lesser of two evils living with dh i can do whatever i want and if i left i would be living with my mom and she treats me like im 12. 

 

 OMG, I know what you mean!!  lol  My father is like this and I am 42!!  Pathetic.  He has always been very controlling and in us kids' business all the time.  Drives me crazy at times!!  I could never, never live with him.  Not to mention that he has an alcohol problem too.  And my mom is a complete slob.  If I left, I would have to be on my own or find a roommate to help me split the bills.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I stayed for financial support. Then I finally got a decent paying job and left.

neecie85257
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:57 PM
1 mom liked this


I am 42 also but i would have to live with my mom till i found a job then i would move out on my own. 

my mom is a slob also 


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting neecie85257:

because its the lesser of two evils living with dh i can do whatever i want and if i left i would be living with my mom and she treats me like im 12. 


 OMG, I know what you mean!!  lol  My father is like this and I am 42!!  Pathetic.  He has always been very controlling and in us kids' business all the time.  Drives me crazy at times!!  I could never, never live with him.  Not to mention that he has an alcohol problem too.  And my mom is a complete slob.  If I left, I would have to be on my own or find a roommate to help me split the bills.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:59 PM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I stayed for financial support. Then I finally got a decent paying job and left.

 Are you glad that you did it?  What were your reasons for leaving, if you don't mind me asking??

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes I was very glad I did it. He not only cheated but had a long term relationship with a girlfriend. once she saw that I didn't care and I was moving on with my life is when she dumped him.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

I stayed for financial support. Then I finally got a decent paying job and left.

 Are you glad that you did it?  What were your reasons for leaving, if you don't mind me asking??


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 He is and has been verbally abusive, much more so in the past, not much in the last few years.  He is better but the worry is still always there.  He gets so mad when things don't go his way.  We have been seperated in the past but I went back because I just wanted to finish school and figured I could deal with it.  He is not home much so it helps.  He tries and he does good for a while then slips back into old habits, though I have gotten to the point where when he yells it just is annoying more than hurtful.  He can be very sweet and loving so I find myself hoping that he will decide to change for good instead of the back and forth crap.  I know it is wrong for him to treat me like he has, that is why I have this plan.  I know that even with all of my faults and mistakes that I don't deserve that.  It is sad that I even have to have these thoughts.  I should not have to deal with that I know.  I should be with someone that I know will be forever without having to question if we will last or not.  We have been together for 15 years.  i have put so much time and effort into this so I can at least say that I am not just throwing in the towel at the first sign of trouble.  I guess the other reason why I hesitate to leave is this is my second marriage.  I got married the first time when I was 19 and we were just way too young.  I think I just never wanted to have another failed marriage, it sucks.

Quoting Anonymous:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I stay because I am trying to finish school so I can survive on my own.  Also I keep hoping that somehow he will change.  He makes an effort for a while and then he is back acting like an ass again.  It makes me sad.  Honestly unless he really truly commits to change and sticks with it I don't think we will last.  He makes a good living and works out of state so it makes it a little easier to stay while I am in school.  I hate even writing this, it makes my heart hurt because I do love him.  I just get sick of worrying about whether or not he is going to yell at me over something stupid or blame me for things not going his way even when it has nothing to do with me I am still somehow to blame according to him, that is tough to take.

 You are smart for waiting until you are finished school and in a job!!  It sounds like he may be somewhat verbally abusive to you.......that's not fair or right for him to treat you like that!!!

 

mcclainprincess
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:22 PM
Awww.. Its sad to see so many women staying in a horrible marriage.. :-(
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:31 PM
Other~ because I've tried leaving before & he literally makes my life a living hell. He has told me that he refuses to live in a world where I sleep with another man. He either threatens suicide & attempts it, or threatens to kill me. At least if I stay, he is tolerable & sane. He has never been physically abusive, just mentally controlling. I'm convinced that my only option is to either stay with him & live a semi-normal life, or leave & fear every second that I will get a phone call that he's dead & it's my fault or wait til he finally snaps & kills me.
choaspartyof4
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:34 PM

 Why couldnt't u leave even if u wanted to? Just curious


Quoting mommy2lexinmark:

I couldn't leave of I wanted to
None of these reasons
But I don't want to


 

Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:35 PM

I figured it out. He won't leave. 

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