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For those of you who are unhappily married.......why do you stay??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: This question is for anyone who is UNhappily married!! What is the reason(s) why you stay?? Select more than one answer if it will allow you.

Options:

a) for money/financial security

b) for the kids - don't want to break up the home

c) because you are afraid to be alone

d) you still kinda love him and hope that things will change for the better

e) because of your religious beliefs (don't believe in divorce)

f) you have serious health issues

g) several of the above


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 93

View Results

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:47 PM
Replies (41-50):
ksueditz
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:43 PM
1 mom liked this
We've hit a rough patch, w/ dh's illness and hospital stay, my mom's illness, financial issues, dh's hoarding, my oldest son's car accident and my youngest son moving back home w/ us. 2012 was a tumultuous year. The fact that we ARE still hanging in there, even if it's by a thread, makes me think there's still a chance.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommy2lexinmark
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:57 AM
1 mom liked this
Well, I have 5 kids and I'm pregnant with #6.
We have a suburban that is in my dhs name, that I need to use everyday to fit all of the kids in.
I have bad credit at the moment, and am working on fixing it.
I working on going back to school to do radiology and would never be able to do this w/o help.
I'm a sahm, I have no income but dhs, and I could never get approved for even an apartment right now, even though that wouldn't be big enough for all of us!
I have no family that could help me, my parents live in a tiny condo, and I would NEVER be able to live with my mom again anyway!

I definitely want to eventually be able to be in a position that if I had to leave, or wanted to, I could! Working on going to school, and being able to get a job while my kids are in school, will help me get there!

Ok, I do have some money in my own bank account, but it still wouldn't be enough currently for me to be on my own with the kids!


Quoting choaspartyof4:

 Why couldnt't u leave even if u wanted to? Just curious




Quoting mommy2lexinmark:

I couldn't leave of I wanted to
None of these reasons
But I don't want to



 

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choaspartyof4
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:30 AM
1 mom liked this

 Well I can definitely see how that would be hard! Especially with 6 kiddos. I have 2 and I understand what you mean. I have been a stay at home mom for 9 years and I'm planning on going back to work when my youngest goes to school too. Good luck to you with school! I hope it all works out the way you want it to!


Quoting mommy2lexinmark:

Well, I have 5 kids and I'm pregnant with #6.
We have a suburban that is in my dhs name, that I need to use everyday to fit all of the kids in.
I have bad credit at the moment, and am working on fixing it.
I working on going back to school to do radiology and would never be able to do this w/o help.
I'm a sahm, I have no income but dhs, and I could never get approved for even an apartment right now, even though that wouldn't be big enough for all of us!
I have no family that could help me, my parents live in a tiny condo, and I would NEVER be able to live with my mom again anyway!

I definitely want to eventually be able to be in a position that if I had to leave, or wanted to, I could! Working on going to school, and being able to get a job while my kids are in school, will help me get there!

Ok, I do have some money in my own bank account, but it still wouldn't be enough currently for me to be on my own with the kids!


Quoting choaspartyof4:

 Why couldnt't u leave even if u wanted to? Just curious


 


Quoting mommy2lexinmark:

I couldn't leave of I wanted to
None of these reasons
But I don't want to

 


 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm with him for the money, I can't support 4 kids on my own. 

mom2the.rescue
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Even though I'm in a happy marriage now, there have been times that lasted for years where it was unhappy.  I stayed for G: lots of reasons- money, kids, and the hope that things would get better.  And voila: we have more money, the kids are happy, and things are wayyyyy better.  Boy am I glad I stayed; now I can spend the rest of my life with a man I love deeply-the only man I've married & had kids with. 

mom2the.rescue
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:36 AM
2 moms liked this

Hang in there...at least you see it's a rough patch...I'm sure things will get better...even with all your crappy problems, you sound like an optimist!


Quoting ksueditz:

We've hit a rough patch, w/ dh's illness and hospital stay, my mom's illness, financial issues, dh's hoarding, my oldest son's car accident and my youngest son moving back home w/ us. 2012 was a tumultuous year. The fact that we ARE still hanging in there, even if it's by a thread, makes me think there's still a chance.


 

ksueditz
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:51 AM
1 mom liked this
My heart breaks for you. I'm sure you are doing what you feel is right for your family. But I think you are missing out on so much. ((Hugs))


Quoting Daveson:

I dont love my husband. We made an arragement almost 8 yrs. He will provide for us, I am able to stay with the kids. He can do what and who he likes. I have never worked so getting a job where I could support myself and my kids are slim to none. I try not to think about love and happiness. This is a business arrangement and nothing more. Love is something I do not belive it and wont ever happen for me. I make my kids the happiest home I can.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Other is my answer. I'm going to collage and take care of not only my own kids but his as well. I will do what I have to do when the time comes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:00 AM

 

Quoting Anonymous:

For me its A and B.. I haven't been able to work for almost 2 years cuz of kids.. and he has made it so I can't leave now cuz I have nothing but my kids.. which really all I want our my kids.. I want to leave so bad...

 Aww, that's sad!!!  Hang in there hon!!  And maybe work part-time if you can (consider babysitting in your home if you need to be with your kids) and then bank that money for a rainy day!!  But honestly, you have to do something if you ever want to break free!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:03 AM

 

Quoting mom2the.rescue:

Even though I'm in a happy marriage now, there have been times that lasted for years where it was unhappy.  I stayed for G: lots of reasons- money, kids, and the hope that things would get better.  And voila: we have more money, the kids are happy, and things are wayyyyy better.  Boy am I glad I stayed; now I can spend the rest of my life with a man I love deeply-the only man I've married & had kids with. 

 I am glad that things turned around for you!!!

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