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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

For those of you who are unhappily married.......why do you stay??

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: This question is for anyone who is UNhappily married!! What is the reason(s) why you stay?? Select more than one answer if it will allow you.

Options:

a) for money/financial security

b) for the kids - don't want to break up the home

c) because you are afraid to be alone

d) you still kinda love him and hope that things will change for the better

e) because of your religious beliefs (don't believe in divorce)

f) you have serious health issues

g) several of the above


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 93

View Results

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:47 PM
Replies (51-60):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this
BUMP
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:09 AM

 

Quoting Daveson:

I dont love my husband. We made an arragement almost 8 yrs. He will provide for us, I am able to stay with the kids. He can do what and who he likes. I have never worked so getting a job where I could support myself and my kids are slim to none. I try not to think about love and happiness. This is a business arrangement and nothing more. Love is something I do not belive it and wont ever happen for me. I make my kids the happiest home I can.

 Wow, I don't know if I could have tolerated that kind of arrangement, but I understand why you do!!  How long were you married before you agreed to this?  How many kids do you have?  Isn't there any chance at all when your kids are in school that you could find work or go back to college, even a community college would be a good place to start?  What happens if your husband finds a woman who wants him for herself and he falls in love?  Then he may leave you for good.  Have you considered that?  It's best to find a way to try and earn money for yourself!!  But I am not judging your decision, if it works for the both of you, then stick with it.  Just know that the day may come when it doesn't work anymore for one of you!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:10 AM
1 mom liked this

A & B

If I got a divorce, I'd have to stop being a SAHM and would have to pay child care.

Once my kids are old enough to stay home alone all day, I'll break things off.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this

I wish I'd done something like this.

Quoting Daveson:

I dont love my husband. We made an arragement almost 8 yrs. He will provide for us, I am able to stay with the kids. He can do what and who he likes. I have never worked so getting a job where I could support myself and my kids are slim to none. I try not to think about love and happiness. This is a business arrangement and nothing more. Love is something I do not belive it and wont ever happen for me. I make my kids the happiest home I can.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:13 AM
1 mom liked this

 I stayed mostly for the kids and for religious reasons.  I hated the idea of giving my children the legacy of divorce and having a "broken home".  After 11 yrs though I left.  Couldn't take the emotional abuse and control anymore.  Now 2 yrs later, I don't regret leaving at all, never once.  But it is hard seeing my kids go through the struggles :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I would do this, but I'd have to wait 12 yrs. I can't imagine that torture.

Quoting Anonymous:

A & B

If I got a divorce, I'd have to stop being a SAHM and would have to pay child care.

Once my kids are old enough to stay home alone all day, I'll break things off.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:15 AM

 Oh my goodness!!!  Why did you have so many kids when you are not happy with your husband?  It almost seems like you trapped yourself or he did!!!  I am not judging, please know that.  I am just baffled why.  I hate to say it, but you really sound stuck.  I am so sorry!!!  If you can get help with babysitting, I would highly recommend you start that radiology program!!!  The sooner, the better.  Can you parents or other family help watch the kids while you are in school?  Maybe wait till the little one is a year or so.  And I can't imagine how much it would even cost to fuel up the Suburban.........damn those vehicles are BIG!!!!  lol  And I would think that they suck the gas down too.

Quoting mommy2lexinmark:

Well, I have 5 kids and I'm pregnant with #6.
We have a suburban that is in my dhs name, that I need to use everyday to fit all of the kids in.
I have bad credit at the moment, and am working on fixing it.
I working on going back to school to do radiology and would never be able to do this w/o help.
I'm a sahm, I have no income but dhs, and I could never get approved for even an apartment right now, even though that wouldn't be big enough for all of us!
I have no family that could help me, my parents live in a tiny condo, and I would NEVER be able to live with my mom again anyway!

I definitely want to eventually be able to be in a position that if I had to leave, or wanted to, I could! Working on going to school, and being able to get a job while my kids are in school, will help me get there!

Ok, I do have some money in my own bank account, but it still wouldn't be enough currently for me to be on my own with the kids!


Quoting choaspartyof4:

 Why couldnt't u leave even if u wanted to? Just curious


 


Quoting mommy2lexinmark:

I couldn't leave of I wanted to
None of these reasons
But I don't want to

 


 

 

CM_Junkie
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this
None of the above fit me since this is just a rut we are in. I'm not unhappily married in the always aspect I'm unhappy with where we are in our marriage. Wish I could honestly vote one of them so I could see the numbers on the poll
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:17 AM
1 mom liked this
It depends on the reason they are unhappy. Im sure as shit not happy right now but I know that all marriages have their up and down moments and I feel like that is what a marriage is supposed to be. Rolling with the punches, realizing its not always peaches and cream, and accepting those changes while learning to love eachother through them.
Hot_Badonkadonk
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I think when you marry someone and plan on staying with them forever, then it is realistic to know things aren't always going to be bliss.

My husband and I are just getting out of a major funk and I'm sure it wont be our last. 

Unless he cheats on me or suddenly becomes abusive to me or our kids, then I will never leave that man. I will stay and fight for my marriage even if I want to strangle him for days on end, lol! 

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