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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

should i just let it go? semi-long...*eta*2n edit- talked to principal

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:16 AM
  • 57 Replies
1 mom liked this
Little back story.


I have 3 kids with my xh. He gets every tues & thurs visitation, plus every other weekend.


This is about our oldest son, 'V'.


He goes to public school. They get a packet of homework each monday, that is due each friday. In the school there are 2 teachers who like to check the students' hw every day. V got one of those teachers.


Xh works full time, night shift, and goes to school full time earning a bachelors degree. On his visitation days, sometimes he has hw of his own to do. Things get frazzled when he is in the process of watching 3kids, doing his hw, and getting ready for work each evening. The school aged kids do hw at my house because of this:


The few times they've done it at his house, it manages to come home not corrected, or not come home at all. It gets left in his car, or lost somewhere in his house. We both agreed that I am just better suited, as a SAHM to have their hw be my responsibility.


Vs teacher made an agreement with me at the beginning of the year, that as long as V is taking notes, and not disrupting class, that he would be exempt from bringing his hw to be checked each day, as long as I corrected it all by friday.


V has held up to his end of the bargain. His conduct grade is an A-, (report card came home yesterday) and he gets straigh As except in reading comp, which is a B+.


All of a sudden, after a few months, the teacher started getting snarky, AND ADMITTED TO IT BTW. "Okay class, get out your work, except for V, he doesnt have to follow rules." Ive spoken to the teacher, who admitted it and said she simply decided it wasnt fair to the class. The principal basically ignored my concerns.


Teacher sent home a note today, stating that V is being unfair to the class, and will need to bring his hw each day to be corrected.


If this happens, he will fail every day after his dad's visitation.


I want him out of her class, his dad & my s/o agree with me.





But am I overreacting? Should I just let it go?


I do not feel that my request is unreasonable, and I do not feel she has a right to call him out in front of the class like she admitted she does.


What do you think?



*eta*

V is in 4th grade

School policy says hw is due friday

Hw isnt my real issue, its her treatment of V

If she wanted to work something else out, she should have contacted me, not called V out in front of the class off and on for 2.5 months
2nd edit-
Talked to the principal face to face this morning
Aparently the teacher is is violation of DISTRICT POLICY.
They have a policy in place, that states that accomidations will be made for families with a court order for visitation. The rules are that they HAVE to work with the custodial parent if the parent has legal & physical custody, which I do. The school policy is also that if the teachers class rules interfere with school/district policy, and a conflict arises, the teacher is to adhere to school/district policy.
So I was well within my rights to ask for the accomidation to begin with.
The principal moved V to another class, AND filed a formal complaint with the district without me asking her to. I even told her as long as he was in a different class, then there was no need for complaint. But the principal felt that the teacher's breaking of policy & treatment of V warranted a complaint.
So its handled now, and I'm glad for it.
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by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
the4mutts
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:22 AM
Oh, btw, this isnt something I feel the need to argue, or debate. I just really need some 3rd party viewpoints from people who arent emotionally invested in our son.
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the4mutts
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:24 AM
Bump!
I want to talk to the school tomorrow, to try & get this settled. Help? :( im so frustrated.
I know my commenting on my own posts sound desperate, but i feel conflicted. I just want my son to have a good education, and a good learning environment. I dont want to over, or under react, and make it worse.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:25 AM
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I'd be upset too.  If she agreed to this arrangement, it's unfair to change it halfway through the year.  And calling a child out like that is inappropriate. 

the4mutts
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:30 AM
Thank you for your reply. Im glad you agree. But even if you didnt, im just glad to have someone listening.
I think it bothers me most, because out of my 4 kids, he is just the BEST behaved, the most considerate, and just an all around sweet kid. (All my kids are great in my eyes, dont get me wrong) but the way he acts compared to other 9y/o boys, just amazes me.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'd be upset too.  If she agreed to this arrangement, it's unfair to change it halfway through the year.  And calling a child out like that is inappropriate. 


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:34 AM

It's not the schools responsibility to have special rules for special people.  They have a policy that has been clearly stated that they expect to review it each day.  I would say you should find a way to comply like all the other children in the class.

Jamabot5
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:34 AM

I would talk to the teacher again, and make it clear you will also be speaking with the principal.  Does she check his hw on the other days, after you have him? 

Litlmama87
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:36 AM
Calling my child out...she'd regret that, her issue is with me.

As far as the HW thing, my first thought was to have him finish the packet in a day or two, so it's done by Friday, & it doesn't get ignored or left behind at his dad's.

Yeah she agreed to it, but if I was a teacher, it probably would irk me as well to be going over answers while there is a child in the classroom who hasn't even done the homework yet.

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the4mutts
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:37 AM
The SCHOOL policy, is that its due on friday. She is one of only 2 teachers in the whole school who do this, and the other teacher said if i put him her class, she would be more than happy to work with me.


Quoting Anonymous:

It's not the schools responsibility to have special rules for special people.  They have a policy that has been clearly stated that they expect to review it each day.  I would say you should find a way to comply like all the other children in the class.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:38 AM

I feel like he should have to follow the same rules as all of the kids....How old is your son? because depending on his age he should be held accountable for his hw and accountable for making sure it gets complete and brought back home to you....Or you could do Monday and Tuesday's home work on Monday and Wednesday and thursdays home work on wednesday and have it all complete to be handed back each day.....Just because your exDH can't be responsible enough to make sure it gets complete does not mean your child should be exempt from getting it complete and on time....Why can't he sit at a table with his son and both work on HW together?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:39 AM


She is your son's teacher, right?  She is asking the same of all students in the class, right?  I mean this isn't picking on your child alone by the sounds of it.  It is that class policy.  Everyone else in that class is expected to follow the same policy.  Stop making it a dig against you, because it's not.  It's making a consistent policy in the class that all students follow equally.

Quoting the4mutts:

The SCHOOL policy, is that its due on friday. She is one of only 2 teachers in the whole school who do this, and the other teacher said if i put him her class, she would be more than happy to work with me.


Quoting Anonymous:

It's not the schools responsibility to have special rules for special people.  They have a policy that has been clearly stated that they expect to review it each day.  I would say you should find a way to comply like all the other children in the class.




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