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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Poor people get married too!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this

I wish people wouldn't bash couples that don't earn enough money at their jobs or have debt or have children and still need public assistance. There's more to it than meets the eye. I have a co worker, he's 29 yrs old and has 2 kids age 2 and 4 and another on the way. Him and his wife own only one car, he doesn't have a license. Why? I never asked. She picks him up from work whenever she can but if not he either gets a ride home from a co worker who is a friend of his, or walks home. The day the tempertaure was 16 degrees, he walked home. He doesn't live far, only walks a mile and along the highway. You have people, brave and have good enough hearts that don't let debt or other financial issues stop them from being with the person they love and committing to them. Why should a person wait 7-10 years til they have a clean credit in order to get married and live the real American way of accomplishing your goals, whether it's graduating from college and getting a high paying job (which is scarce these days at least in my town since some say college is a scam)  or after earning enough raises at your job to provide for a husband/wife/children? No! If we have debt or one has it we can take care of that and get rid of it together and still have a loving marriage and provide for our children. And if we need public assistance on the side for help if we have family members who don't give a shit about our problems, then that's what we have to do.

 

I married my dh knowing he has poor credit and thanks to his ex wife. I married him knowing he had to pay alimony and child support(which lasted 2 years the child was close to 18) and we have a baby of our own. Why wait? Life is too short. We can make the best of what we have. He has a poor credit because his vehicle was repossessed because of the support payments taking a big chunk out of his paycheck it was either loose the vehicle or loose the apartment. His ex wife refused to sign off her name from the vehicle so he could trade it in or sell it back to the bank, plus he was court ordered to not do neither, so he had not choice but to call up the bank and say 'come pick it up.' He now drives a beater that he bought from our neighbor but it gets you from point A to point B which is all that matters. There's no buses to his job it;s an 1.45 minutes away and cabs, forget it. Having no loans are great. I have debt from medical bills and bill me later as does he and a couple credit cards (those were marital debt but he was court ordered to take care of those). I make $20,000 a year dh makes $9600. But we will be spending our whole tax refund on paying off those bills.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:16 AM
1 mom liked this

mattiehatter
by Mary on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:17 AM

That is really difficult to read because of the block of small text. I agree with you though for the most part.

AmyL3469
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:18 AM

My husband and I aren't exactly poor, but we were together for 5 years with 2 kids before we got married because we couldn't afford the marriage license. We were making ends meet, barely, but that 45 bucks seemed unecessary at the time. We got married just over a year ago now, we spent not even 100 total on our wedding. Weddings don't have to be expensive, I don't understand what the big deal is about marriage and the poor? We have one car too, maybe this guy's wife brings him to work so she can have the car for the kids. I'd do that if I lived closed to where my husband works. We also have another baby on the way, so we'll have 3 kids. We pay our bills and keep our kids fed even though we can't afford all the extra things. I'd rather be broke and happy then rich and miserable. I'm also in college and working towards my masters degree to turn things around. The point is, you have to stick together even when things are tough. We've been through a lot together and wouldn't want anyone else by my side through all we've been through.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:27 AM
1 mom liked this

People have to realize that not everyone is going to live the sweet apple pie life. Thats not the way it works.  Just like every country we have our different class of people.  Nothing is going to change that.n  But everyone has the right to a family, and see their legacy.  Now I don't agree with having a bunch of kids while on welfare.. but just because someone cant afford the luxuries in life, it doesn't make it right to tell them they don't have the right to have a family of their own.  

As for families on welfare, a lot of people were not at that point in life when they planned their family.  Shit happens.  So leave them alone.  If you don't like it, there are far more countries that like your communist ideas .. try dictating them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:28 AM

 

Quoting mattiehatter:

That is really difficult to read because of the block of small text. I agree with you though for the most part.

 I just re edited it now sorry

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:30 AM

 

Quoting AmyL3469:

My husband and I aren't exactly poor, but we were together for 5 years with 2 kids before we got married because we couldn't afford the marriage license. We were making ends meet, barely, but that 45 bucks seemed unecessary at the time. We got married just over a year ago now, we spent not even 100 total on our wedding. Weddings don't have to be expensive, I don't understand what the big deal is about marriage and the poor? We have one car too, maybe this guy's wife brings him to work so she can have the car for the kids. I'd do that if I lived closed to where my husband works. We also have another baby on the way, so we'll have 3 kids. We pay our bills and keep our kids fed even though we can't afford all the extra things. I'd rather be broke and happy then rich and miserable. I'm also in college and working towards my masters degree to turn things around. The point is, you have to stick together even when things are tough. We've been through a lot together and wouldn't want anyone else by my side through all we've been through.

 Exactly!

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:36 AM

I am a taxpayer in a higher income bracket, I don't mind that my money goes to help people who are trying to help themselves. I DO mind though when they don't work or keep having babies they can't afford.

AmyL3469
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:37 AM

I just realized that was all jumbled together lol. That's what I get for writing at 5 am... but anyway, my husband and I had a fire in our house 2 years ago. I almost died with our oldest daughter in her bed... which is what I mean when we've been through a lot. I had ptsd from it, panic attacks, anxiety, we both were extremely depressed. Our cats I had had for 12 years died in the fire which was the worst part. We lost everything. We're still recovering financially and rebuying our things, but that's okay. We're all fine. We all got out.  

i know couples have been through worse together, but I think this was really trying on our relationship, as it probably would have been on anyone's. It's still hard to look at any pictures or anything from before the fire.

The one thing I did get out of the fire after was my box of old pictures, at least some of them. Tough to see our old stuff, the cats, that apartment in general... 

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting AmyL3469:

My husband and I aren't exactly poor, but we were together for 5 years with 2 kids before we got married because we couldn't afford the marriage license. We were making ends meet, barely, but that 45 bucks seemed unecessary at the time. We got married just over a year ago now, we spent not even 100 total on our wedding. Weddings don't have to be expensive, I don't understand what the big deal is about marriage and the poor? We have one car too, maybe this guy's wife brings him to work so she can have the car for the kids. I'd do that if I lived closed to where my husband works. We also have another baby on the way, so we'll have 3 kids. We pay our bills and keep our kids fed even though we can't afford all the extra things. I'd rather be broke and happy then rich and miserable. I'm also in college and working towards my masters degree to turn things around. The point is, you have to stick together even when things are tough. We've been through a lot together and wouldn't want anyone else by my side through all we've been through.

 Exactly!


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:01 AM
if people waited til they were financially set to get married or have kids no one would be married or have kids. Few people ever feel like they will actually have enough money all the time to not stress.
SunshineBird
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:19 AM

There is no "right" time to have children and I wouldn't ever feel like I had the right to tell someone whether or not their timing or financial situation sucked too much to have kids. I grew up with very little money but we always had food, shelter and clothing (and no PA that I can remember). 

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