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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

2 weeks since my failed suicide attempt

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 79 Replies

Two weeks ago at this time I was writing letters to my family and friend.  I had taken loads of tranqualisers to help keep myself calm.  Unfortunately I took them too early and must have run out of strength because when I slit my throat with a scalpel and lay down to die, I didn't...

Now I am trying to find out how to go on living, how to WANT TO go on living.  I am seeing a psychiatrist once a week.  He has put me on medication to help me sleep, stay calm, etc, but I feel dead inside and wish I had done the job properly the first time.

Does anyone have a clue what I should do next?  I dont even want to go back to work next week.  I dont want to cook, or clean or do anything at all. 

I have read hundreds of self-help articles and books over the years but still I am just hollow and empty inside.  Nothing seems to work.  I dont know how to make anything work anymore. 

If anyone has any ideas, please help.  I dont know where to go from here.  I know the psychiatrist will help over time, but how do I get through today???

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:40 AM
How do you live through slitting your throat ? and ho to tranquilizers run out of strength?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:40 AM
What are you upset over?
AmyL3469
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:41 AM
7 moms liked this

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 

LoveMyLos
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:41 AM
9 moms liked this

i slept for three days straight. then i got up, sucked it up, and took it one day at a time. 

that was 11 yrs ago.

mommy03021207
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:42 AM
Depends what is going on. If you want to talk pm me.
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mom2the.rescue
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:42 AM

awe honey I don't have any real advice.  It sounds like you're trying to get the help you need.  My best friend's dh killed himself.  He left behind a 4 yr old boy & a 1mo old girl.  It is heartwrenching.  The little boy was sobbing and trying to climb in his casket at the funeral.  He talks about him all the time.  He doesn't know he took his own life...yet.  How many kids do you have?  They will not be better without you.

lamommy23
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:43 AM
Whats making you so upset?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:45 AM

Look at your children, and think about them before thinking of yourself.  thats really the only advice I can give you...

lancet98
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:47 AM
1 mom liked this

If you feel suicidal still, you need to go to emergency and get in a hospital.

As far as the empty feeling, it can take some time for medications to fully work.  Is your psychiatrist giving you an antidepressant?   That can help but it takes time to take effect.

 

weaveress
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I try and find my happy spot. The first time I saw my son's eyes. My daughter doing her sassy frass dance. That's what keeps me here. Not wanting to be without them. 

As far as motivation to actually do anything. Idk still don't have it. Some days I do everything like the energizer bunny and somedays I barely get out of bed, if I didn't have to take my kids to school I probably wouldn't. 

The meds haven't fully kicked in if it's only been two weeks. Give them a bit of time to see how they work. Hopefully the dr can find the correct cocktail for you. That makes gives you optimal existence.  Good Luck!

if you need to vent, ramble, discuss, or just talk PM me.

Kasi Lynn, Calvin David, & Lilith Jade's Mommy
The Work will wait while you show the child the RAINBOW, but the rainbow won't wait while you do your work.

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