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2 weeks since my failed suicide attempt

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Two weeks ago at this time I was writing letters to my family and friend.  I had taken loads of tranqualisers to help keep myself calm.  Unfortunately I took them too early and must have run out of strength because when I slit my throat with a scalpel and lay down to die, I didn't...

Now I am trying to find out how to go on living, how to WANT TO go on living.  I am seeing a psychiatrist once a week.  He has put me on medication to help me sleep, stay calm, etc, but I feel dead inside and wish I had done the job properly the first time.

Does anyone have a clue what I should do next?  I dont even want to go back to work next week.  I dont want to cook, or clean or do anything at all. 

I have read hundreds of self-help articles and books over the years but still I am just hollow and empty inside.  Nothing seems to work.  I dont know how to make anything work anymore. 

If anyone has any ideas, please help.  I dont know where to go from here.  I know the psychiatrist will help over time, but how do I get through today???

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:38 AM
Replies (41-50):
notabosley
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I have bipolar disorder and had several suicide attempts in my 20's, honestly 1 day at a time is all you can do. PM me if you need a boost. Don't get so anxious that your thoughts race out of control, reach out, I would be happy to help. By the looks of other responders, your not alone.
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_AshlynNicole
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:19 AM
I would say go to a rehab place or hospital for however long it takes. Take it one day at a time
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:46 AM
2 moms liked this

 I agree.  I am not in my right mind...  Only someone who has had to deal with depression, anxiety disorder, OCD etc can know what it feels like and understand. 

I am sorry AmyL3469 if my post has upset you.  I don't know what you have been through in your life, but unless you have dealt with depression, you wont be able to understand.  There are times that I dont even understand what I did.


Quoting Lydlou02:

Fuck off! Suicidal Depression is an illness! No one in their right mind would do such a think, that's the problem she ISN'T in her right mind and she KNOWS it. It's ppl like you that make ppl ashamed to get help for their depression.

Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 


 

LectioDivina
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this

And you should be ashamed that when someone came across you asking for advice or help and you were this rude, mean spirited and callous towards her, For no other reason than you felt like it.

Quoting AmyL3469:

Lol! Okay. You should be ashamed if you do something like this them broadcast it. She should have gotten help before trying to end her life if she knows she has problems.

Anyway, she said she has no want to go on living, so my comment, aren't her kids enough came into play. Why would you not want to live? Why do you want your kids to suffer? 

Quoting Lydlou02:

Fuck off! Suicidal Depression is an illness! No one in their right mind would do such a think, that's the problem she ISN'T in her right mind and she KNOWS it. It's ppl like you that make ppl ashamed to get help for their depression.

Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 



catrig
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:52 AM
1 mom liked this

If you are not on meds you need to be.  If you are on meds they may need adjusting.  Try exercising every day.  Eat a healthy diet.  Find some hobbies and people to talk to.  I think there is a depression support group around here somewhere.  Try not to entertain the negative thoughts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:52 AM
Troll.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:57 AM
1 mom liked this

 Thanks for this... I am just trying to find someone who has been in a similar situation, who understands and who can give me an idea of where to/how to go on from here (aside from psychiatry/therapy and meds).

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I think sometimes people just want to seek advice for others who don't know them, or anonymously. It's not up to us to judge all we can do is try and help them when they ask for it.. Nobody knows what this person is going thru, so we should just leave it at that if we have nothing helpful to say !


Quoting Anonymous:

I agree. I also feel like people crying suicide are just starved for attention. If she really wished she did it right, there are plenty of ways to get the job done....posting on cm....not one of them.



If she does want help call your doctor, that's what they are there for they are the professionals and the only ones who need to give you advice on your mental issues. Not a bunch of opinionated women you twit.




Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 




 

blsdbyangel07
by Evil Food Lady on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:57 AM
:(

this post makes me sad.. ive debated suicide so i know the empty hopeless feeling. Im still trying to get better. Taking it one day at a time ya know? Think of your babies :) thats what i try to do *hugs*
19andmomtobe
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:59 AM
1 mom liked this

i took a bunch of pills when i was 17 years old.. wayyy before i was a mom. and i had been put on anti depressants that i shouldnt have been on ... anyways i didnt die but i almost did. it was so stupid. but it was about a week after that i decided that it was time i start dealing with my issues even if my parents werent willing to. and i stopped seeing my therapist. best thing i ever did. i gained so much strength. i finished high school with honors. let go of my past. stopped blaming everyone else. removed everyone bad in my life. found the man of my dreams. had my beautiful baby boy. and as he turns one in a few days ill remember to thank god for giving me a second chance so that i could be part of such an amazing little life

Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:05 AM
I'm sorry you feel the need to be so judgmental but you have no idea what it's like to be in op's shoes. I always felt like suicide is a very selfish thing, I still feel that way. I lost my favorite cousin to suicide and he left 3 kids behind. But you don't know what it feels like. I struggle with it every day. I self harm. I've been doing it for 10 yrs now and I never thought that I would have thoughts of suicide but I have been. It's really hard. It's all I think about. I hate the feeling. There is always that one things that puts you over the edge. So please be kind. Your reply can harm anyone who is in a position like this.


Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 


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