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2 weeks since my failed suicide attempt

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Two weeks ago at this time I was writing letters to my family and friend.  I had taken loads of tranqualisers to help keep myself calm.  Unfortunately I took them too early and must have run out of strength because when I slit my throat with a scalpel and lay down to die, I didn't...

Now I am trying to find out how to go on living, how to WANT TO go on living.  I am seeing a psychiatrist once a week.  He has put me on medication to help me sleep, stay calm, etc, but I feel dead inside and wish I had done the job properly the first time.

Does anyone have a clue what I should do next?  I dont even want to go back to work next week.  I dont want to cook, or clean or do anything at all. 

I have read hundreds of self-help articles and books over the years but still I am just hollow and empty inside.  Nothing seems to work.  I dont know how to make anything work anymore. 

If anyone has any ideas, please help.  I dont know where to go from here.  I know the psychiatrist will help over time, but how do I get through today???

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:38 AM
Replies (51-60):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:08 AM

Talk to your dr.  You prob need intense therapy inside a hospital.

Mocking.Jay
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this
I love how you women who've NEVER been truly depressed believe its so easy to look at your children and snap out of it. Depression is a mental illness and anyone suffering with it cannot snap out of an episode by taking a look at their loved ones.

Quoting Anonymous:

Look at your children, and think about them before thinking of yourself.  thats really the only advice I can give you...

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AmyL3469
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:12 AM

If it can harm, she shouldn't post it around other people. She should get help. And I don't know what it's like to be so down? As I've stated, I've been down. I almost died holding my daughter in a fire. I have ptsd and panic attacks from dealing with it. How am I being judgmental anyway? it is selfish and a disgusting act. But you're right, I don't understand what drives someone to hate themselves and loved ones so much to feel so compelled to do this. You need to seek help to heal and get better, not go after others online for their beliefs. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry you feel the need to be so judgmental but you have no idea what it's like to be in op's shoes. I always felt like suicide is a very selfish thing, I still feel that way. I lost my favorite cousin to suicide and he left 3 kids behind. But you don't know what it feels like. I struggle with it every day. I self harm. I've been doing it for 10 yrs now and I never thought that I would have thoughts of suicide but I have been. It's really hard. It's all I think about. I hate the feeling. There is always that one things that puts you over the edge. So please be kind. Your reply can harm anyone who is in a position like this.


Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 



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AmyL3469
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:15 AM

i'm not ashamed of my beliefs. She should be asking doctors or professionals for help, not people on CM where not everyone has to be so kind.  I don't understand how my first comment was so rude and hateful.

Quoting LectioDivina:

And you should be ashamed that when someone came across you asking for advice or help and you were this rude, mean spirited and callous towards her, For no other reason than you felt like it.

Quoting AmyL3469:

Lol! Okay. You should be ashamed if you do something like this them broadcast it. She should have gotten help before trying to end her life if she knows she has problems.

Anyway, she said she has no want to go on living, so my comment, aren't her kids enough came into play. Why would you not want to live? Why do you want your kids to suffer? 

Quoting Lydlou02:

Fuck off! Suicidal Depression is an illness! No one in their right mind would do such a think, that's the problem she ISN'T in her right mind and she KNOWS it. It's ppl like you that make ppl ashamed to get help for their depression.

Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 




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a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:55 AM
My mom committed suicide in July and I can assure you she felt she was doing what was best for everyone. She didn't do it to be selfish. Depression is an illness and people take it too lightly.

A person should want to live for themselves, not other people. Period


Quoting AmyL3469:

Lol! Okay. You should be ashamed if you do something like this them broadcast it. She should have gotten help before trying to end her life if she knows she has problems.

Anyway, she said she has no want to go on living, so my comment, aren't her kids enough came into play. Why would you not want to live? Why do you want your kids to suffer? 

Quoting Lydlou02:

Fuck off! Suicidal Depression is an illness! No one in their right mind would do such a think, that's the problem she ISN'T in her right mind and she KNOWS it. It's ppl like you that make ppl ashamed to get help for their depression.



Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 



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Mocking.Jay
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:56 AM
And before the crabby anons start coming out of their holes, I was never depressed. Anyone who's taken a psychology class will know this.

Quoting Mocking.Jay:

I love how you women who've NEVER been truly depressed believe its so easy to look at your children and snap out of it. Depression is a mental illness and anyone suffering with it cannot snap out of an episode by taking a look at their loved ones.



Quoting Anonymous:

Look at your children, and think about them before thinking of yourself.  thats really the only advice I can give you...

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:57 AM
God is the answer.
Mocking.Jay
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:57 AM
1 mom liked this
People in here don't give a fuck. I'm starting to think that maybe they suffer from learning disabilities lol.

Quoting a_and_j_momma:

My mom committed suicide in July and I can assure you she felt she was doing what was best for everyone. She didn't do it to be selfish. Depression is an illness and people take it too lightly.



A person should want to live for themselves, not other people. Period




Quoting AmyL3469:

Lol! Okay. You should be ashamed if you do something like this them broadcast it. She should have gotten help before trying to end her life if she knows she has problems.

Anyway, she said she has no want to go on living, so my comment, aren't her kids enough came into play. Why would you not want to live? Why do you want your kids to suffer? 

Quoting Lydlou02:

Fuck off! Suicidal Depression is an illness! No one in their right mind would do such a think, that's the problem she ISN'T in her right mind and she KNOWS it. It's ppl like you that make ppl ashamed to get help for their depression.





Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you need inpatient care and may have been release too soon. Ask for help and let them know you still feel like you are a danger to yourself.  You may need different meds. Everyone's body reacts differently. Perhaps you need to be admitted until they find the right balance of meds.

Remember you are not a person like any other person and thatis key.  Just keep asking for help and dont give up.

piratehooker
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:00 PM
Im sorry about your mom. I lost my dad in August to suicide. It really sucks.

OP go to a treatment center please.


Quoting a_and_j_momma:

My mom committed suicide in July and I can assure you she felt she was doing what was best for everyone. She didn't do it to be selfish. Depression is an illness and people take it too lightly.



A person should want to live for themselves, not other people. Period




Quoting AmyL3469:

Lol! Okay. You should be ashamed if you do something like this them broadcast it. She should have gotten help before trying to end her life if she knows she has problems.

Anyway, she said she has no want to go on living, so my comment, aren't her kids enough came into play. Why would you not want to live? Why do you want your kids to suffer? 

Quoting Lydlou02:

Fuck off! Suicidal Depression is an illness! No one in their right mind would do such a think, that's the problem she ISN'T in her right mind and she KNOWS it. It's ppl like you that make ppl ashamed to get help for their depression.





Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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