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2 weeks since my failed suicide attempt

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Two weeks ago at this time I was writing letters to my family and friend.  I had taken loads of tranqualisers to help keep myself calm.  Unfortunately I took them too early and must have run out of strength because when I slit my throat with a scalpel and lay down to die, I didn't...

Now I am trying to find out how to go on living, how to WANT TO go on living.  I am seeing a psychiatrist once a week.  He has put me on medication to help me sleep, stay calm, etc, but I feel dead inside and wish I had done the job properly the first time.

Does anyone have a clue what I should do next?  I dont even want to go back to work next week.  I dont want to cook, or clean or do anything at all. 

I have read hundreds of self-help articles and books over the years but still I am just hollow and empty inside.  Nothing seems to work.  I dont know how to make anything work anymore. 

If anyone has any ideas, please help.  I dont know where to go from here.  I know the psychiatrist will help over time, but how do I get through today???

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:38 AM
Replies (61-70):
Beenhereforever
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Speaking from experience ( my mom shot herself right infront of me and faild also. Worst thing I ever saw her go through, well that an the death of my brother.

Now, after that... My mom had to do the same things you described. It's a day by day process.

For me, the worst thing I went through aside from my brother molesting me and noone ever finding out was the death of my baby. I wanted to kill myself. Everyday I was trying to get the courage up. It took me years before I started to feel again. To want to smile. To live. It has been 18 years. I now have a (what I call) happy life. I laugh, joke and smile everyday. I thank god that I am here.

I don't know how to make you want to live again. Just know that someday a spark ( a little spark) will happen. It will just continue to get brighter and better from there. Right now what I'm saying makes no sense. Hopefully one day you will see what I am talking about.
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Iron_Beauty
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:03 PM

I love how you make assumptions about those of us who commented on this thread. Thanks so much for  making an ass out of yourself.

Quoting Mocking.Jay:

I love how you women who've NEVER been truly depressed believe its so easy to look at your children and snap out of it. Depression is a mental illness and anyone suffering with it cannot snap out of an episode by taking a look at their loved ones.

Quoting Anonymous:

Look at your children, and think about them before thinking of yourself.  thats really the only advice I can give you...


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:04 PM
My last suicide attempt was August 2010. I was very close to being dead.

There's jot much I can say to help you. You take one day at a time. Write your feelings, worries, memories down in a book. You can try to make dates for the future. Spend time with family.

The first thing you need to understand is why you want to kill yourself. Do you have memories that haunt you? Talk about them. Get through them. Its hard, but its something you have to do.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:04 PM

depression support group go now !!! they helped me . therapy as well

Mocking.Jay
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:04 PM
I love how you try to appear semi sympathetic but fail at it.

Quoting Iron_Beauty:

I love how you make assumptions about those of us who commented on this thread. Thanks so much for  making an ass out of yourself.

Quoting Mocking.Jay:

I love how you women who've NEVER been truly depressed believe its so easy to look at your children and snap out of it. Depression is a mental illness and anyone suffering with it cannot snap out of an episode by taking a look at their loved ones.



Quoting Anonymous:

Look at your children, and think about them before thinking of yourself.  thats really the only advice I can give you...


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Iron_Beauty
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:06 PM

Its not semi-sympathetic. Truthfully, its up to her to pull through it. Nothing I nor anyone else has to say is going to change her mind. 

I've hit rock bottom a few times, and there is NOTHING anyone else can do to pull you out of it besides be there for you. So i'm sorry if I don't give a shit about some random person I've never met.  What she needs is support from family and loved ones, not a bunch of judgemental bitches on the internet.

Quoting Mocking.Jay:

I love how you try to appear semi sympathetic but fail at it.

Quoting Iron_Beauty:

I love how you make assumptions about those of us who commented on this thread. Thanks so much for  making an ass out of yourself.

Quoting Mocking.Jay:

I love how you women who've NEVER been truly depressed believe its so easy to look at your children and snap out of it. Depression is a mental illness and anyone suffering with it cannot snap out of an episode by taking a look at their loved ones.



Quoting Anonymous:

Look at your children, and think about them before thinking of yourself.  thats really the only advice I can give you...



dudestfd
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:11 PM

None of that will work until you want it too. The only thing that gets you out of that slump is your own will to live. I have been there and it took me 6 yrs to say fuck it I am doing this for me and no one else. (This was before my dd was born) It is not easy and I have more bad days than good but the little things like my daughter giving me random hugs and kisses to her copying everything I do is what gets me through it. 

Mocking.Jay
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:12 PM
I can't disagree with you on your last part.

Quoting Iron_Beauty:

Its not semi-sympathetic. Truthfully, its up to her to pull through it. Nothing I nor anyone else has to say is going to change her mind. 

I've hit rock bottom a few times, and there is NOTHING anyone else can do to pull you out of it besides be there for you. So i'm sorry if I don't give a shit about some random person I've never met.  What she needs is support from family and loved ones, not a bunch of judgemental bitches on the internet.

Quoting Mocking.Jay:

I love how you try to appear semi sympathetic but fail at it.



Quoting Iron_Beauty:

I love how you make assumptions about those of us who commented on this thread. Thanks so much for  making an ass out of yourself.

Quoting Mocking.Jay:

I love how you women who've NEVER been truly depressed believe its so easy to look at your children and snap out of it. Depression is a mental illness and anyone suffering with it cannot snap out of an episode by taking a look at their loved ones.





Quoting Anonymous:

Look at your children, and think about them before thinking of yourself.  thats really the only advice I can give you...



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a_and_j_momma
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:20 PM
I am sorry about your dad too


Quoting piratehooker:

Im sorry about your mom. I lost my dad in August to suicide. It really sucks.



OP go to a treatment center please.




Quoting a_and_j_momma:

My mom committed suicide in July and I can assure you she felt she was doing what was best for everyone. She didn't do it to be selfish. Depression is an illness and people take it too lightly.





A person should want to live for themselves, not other people. Period






Quoting AmyL3469:

Lol! Okay. You should be ashamed if you do something like this them broadcast it. She should have gotten help before trying to end her life if she knows she has problems.

Anyway, she said she has no want to go on living, so my comment, aren't her kids enough came into play. Why would you not want to live? Why do you want your kids to suffer? 

Quoting Lydlou02:

Fuck off! Suicidal Depression is an illness! No one in their right mind would do such a think, that's the problem she ISN'T in her right mind and she KNOWS it. It's ppl like you that make ppl ashamed to get help for their depression.







Quoting AmyL3469:

Trying to be as nice as possible because I think this is the most selfish, disgusting thing one could possibly do. Assuming you're a mom since you're on this website. Aren't your kids enough to get you through anything you face? 





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proudmommy690
by Ruby Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:23 PM
Im so sorry. I wish I knew what to say to help. Big hugs.
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