Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Autism moms! Help me understand!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I room mother for my son's kinder class once a month. He's in a class with 19 other children and six of those children have autism. There is something that I see every time I go that really bothers me.

His teacher will set up an activity, start explaining it and invariably one of the autistic kids will start having a meltdown. The teacher's assistant will go over to help him but within a couple of minutes his meltdown has triggered a meltdown by another autistic boy. By this point you can't hear anything but screaming, the teacher and the TA are both occupied leaving the rest of the class to just talk amongst themselves...which they do, then everyone is getting out of their seats and playing again, no longer remotely interested on the activity. By the time the teacher gets evreryone seated and settled and listening again, a good 20 minutes has passed. I see this situation every time I'm there so I imagine it happens every other day too.

So my question is...wouldn't it be better for the autistic kids to be in their own class together? A smaller class, with more individual attention where they can move at their own pace? Because O honestly don't think it's fair that my son's learning has to fall behind because of a few special students.

Please don't get all bent out of shape. No, I don't have a child with autism and I don't know what its like. That's why I'm asking. If there's a mutual benefit to these students being mainstreamed like these then please educate me.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:52 PM
Replies (101-110):
bxmom2580
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:48 PM
It doesn't work like that in NYC. From the time a child is in early intervention and is 2 years old, they are put in special school/ center based programs where they receive intensive therapy and are constantly being evaluated. By the time they are three, they automatically go into pre-k in special schools set up for autistic/ disabled kids. The board of education and the parents handle this according to the child's level of functioning. An autistic child who is not ready to be in regular Ed won't be. Every special education student has an ID code in the system. There are kids though that unfortunately do fall through the cracks here due to overcrowding and wait lists for certain schools/ programs, but the parents have to be active in there child education, like I was, that's why my kids are in a good public school for autistic kids.


Quoting svolkov:

Yes but you chose that route...if you had gone with a reg school they would have mostly been integrated depending on their abilities




Quoting bxmom2580:

Here in NYC, we have public schools that have special programs that cater to autistic children. My oldest, who is now 16, is in a special high school just for the disabled, and it is a public school. There they give them the therapy they need and if they are high functioning enough, they put them in part time or full time work experience programs, and they teach them how to use public transportation, my 2 youngest sons are also in a public school that caters to autistic kids. They too get all therapy in school. They also have yoga and dance classes. They are all taught with smart boards, iPods, and iPads. My children entered this school being nonverbal 3 years ago. Now they can read and write at age level. Yeah, NYC is very expensive to live, but with these services, IMO, it's worth it


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:49 PM
Whatever. That is your problem.

Quoting AylinsMom:

NOPE sorry, I call B.S. ! I can read and that IS EXACTLY what you meant ! YOU need to explain what you mean by "lowest common denominator" Can you explain it rather  than covering it up ? LOL



Quoting Anonymous:

I absolutely did not call an autistic kid that. I said that is who our public schools cater to. I sincerely doubt that those are the autistic kids.



Quoting AylinsMom:

Actually, to correct you: Private schools don't have the funds to help with autistic children. Wow...calling an autistic child "the lowest common denominator" is WOW unbelieveable...you're pathetic !




Quoting Anonymous:

Put your kids in private school. Public schools cater to the lowest common denominator.








thatgirl70
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm going to explain our situation, though it's really hard for me to give a clear cut opinion on the matter. 

My son has dyspraxia, possibly ADHD (they don't diagnose that until age 6, so sometime this year) and he has been diagnosed with ASD (but the diagnosis keeps flip-flopping--one of these days I'm going to have neurological testing done on him).

Anyway, last year, he was in PPCD (preschool program for children with diabilities). One teacher, two aides, 10 kids. He also had some inclusion in the pre-k class which was around 18 kids. I sat in observance a few times, he could be easily distracted, it was very difficult for him to sit still. He had the same issues back when he was in Head Start (that is what made us work on getting him tested).

Through the ARD meeting we had before the end of the last school year, they felt he was ready to move to the regular Kindergarten classroom (for the following school year), because academically he was outperforming in the PPCD class. The Kindergarten class would have been one teacher, no aides, probably around 20-something kids. DH and I did not feel he was ready for that, so we chose to homeschool and spend this school year focusing on his therapies (he was getting some at school, but not often enough to be of any help) so that he CAN function in a regular classroom--because frankly, I'm not cut out for homeschooling (I don't have the patience). He has progressed very well with his therapies and I'm confident that by the time the next school year rolls around, he'll be ready.

Is every special needs child capable of functioning in a regular classroom? Probably not. Should every special needs child be automatically excluded? No. I don't know how my son will be when he's back in school, but we will see and we will deal with it.

My only wish is that there could be enough in the budget to provide an aide(s) to help with our kids. With my son, they said their budget did not allow it (they only had enough to provide for the PPCD class). Hopefully by next school year though it won't be an issue anyway.

I can't give you advice about your child. I'm sure you are not the only parent of a NT child who has wondered the same thing. I do sympathize, I know it can be frustrating. We all want what's best for our children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:50 PM
The. Autistic kids at our school have their own class and motorlab.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this
I completely agree.

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Put your kids in private school. Public schools cater to the lowest common denominator.

While I tend to agree with you about public schools catering to lowest common denominator, I don't believe that the "lowest common denominator" means special needs children.


My 5 year old attends a private, CHRISTIAN school and while most of the student body is NT, there are some children who have been diagnosed with autism (they are high functioning), ADHD, and SPD. One boy who was in my son's class last year has autism and his parents are phenomenal. His father's company sponsors the autism walk in the area every year and this child's parents have done everything they could to help him using whatever resources the could find.


He's in kindergarten now and if you observed the class like I did the other day, you would NEVER know this boy had an autism dx.


The school is very popular in my area- so much so that they will be adding a third kindergarten class next year, meaning enrollment is up.


This is a private school that doesn't "throw away" children who are not "cookie cutter" kids or who process information or think differently and I like that about it. I'm glad my own child will grow up knowing that not everyone has to be "the same". I am going to raise a kid that has compassion and empathy.


I had my LO in public school for a year and it was horrible- not because of special needs children, but because of budget cuts, lazy teachers, and a lot of parents who didn't give a crap. No thanks. Never again.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:50 PM

6 out of 19 is NOT an abnormal amount ! I doubt if they are "severly" autistic.


Quoting Matriarch87:

That seems like an abnormal amount of autistic children to be in one class.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:51 PM

THERE ARE 19 KIDS IN THE CLASS AND IT'S KINDERGARTEN !


Quoting FL2AK:

No one has a right to interfere with the education of another regardless of disability or anything else.  6 kids with Autism in one class at such a young age is way too many.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Anonymous:

It doesn't offend me it makes you look like you don't care about other kids or about mothers feelings of kids with autism .



Im just a mom who feels like her child has a right to an education. I believe autistic children deserve the right to an education. But in my son's current situation, his right to an education is being usurped by someone else...in this case it happens to be an autistic child. It's my responsibility to make sure that my child has the best education he possibly can so I am going to make the necessary changes to make sure that happens.

I'm not blaming the autistic children nor their parents nor the teacher who is obviously overwhelmed.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:51 PM
2 moms liked this

Snobby bitch !

MomOfTwins...
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you!!! My more severe son is always being antagonized by other kids. Their favorite thing to do is kick his chair and take his assigned spot at circle time. Even if they are only sitting there momentarily he has already processed the unexpected change in routine, which he struggles to deal with at times.

Quoting Anonymous:

My son has high functioning autism, he does have outbursts, but he's also in the excelerated learning program bc he's highly intelligent. I talk to his teacher often and he has a 504 in place, she told me that a lot of his outbursts are caused by the kids deliberately antagonizing him bc they think it's funny when he has one. Why should my son be in a separate class bc these other kids think it's fun to pick on him?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN