Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What are the duties of a SAHM?

Posted by   + Show Post

I'm married with a 4 month old son. I'm a SAHM and my husband works two jobs. I hate to cook, but the house is clean and clothes are ironed. I'm exhausted from taking care of my baby once my hubby is home and my sex drive is low! He said I need to grow up and handle my responsibilities. I'm so not use to cooking my mom cooks and I will bring food home or we both eat there. My mother said he needs to have a home cooked meal everyday since I'm home. It's a lot with a baby and I'm tired. What do you SAHM do? Are you exhausted, do you cook, how often are you having sex and if so are you intimate when the baby is awake? I don't like having sex or making love if the baby is up is that wrong?

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:08 PM
Replies (71-80):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Your man needs a hot meal when he comes home 4 months old isn't newborn anymore. I agree you need to do everything, cooking, laundry, dishes, housework..

At 26 you should already have this together.

ajrjj05
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:06 PM

well have hubby quit one job, and you get the second job instead of him. Let him deal with the baby while your out at work.. He'll change his mood quickly!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:06 PM
I am a sahm with a 7 4 and 7 month old. My husband works from home but is just getting started and doesn't go much ( it's been like that for 7 months) he cooks and makes a huge mess everywhere it's really annoying! I didn't have any kind of sex drive until recently we hadn't had sex in about 10 months. We wait till everyone is sleeping because he feels weird if they are awake
ChloeDolce1
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:07 PM

My personal feeling is this: My husband works a very high pressure, high stress job with very long hours every single day all to provide for our family.  This affords me the luxury of being able to stay at home with my kids.  That is his responsibility to our family...so there for i feel the need top do my part and fill my responsibility to our family as well.  To me this includes maintaining the home, caring for the kids, running errands, and yes preparing meals.  We both do our part to give eachother and our kids what we need to keep things moving smoothly as we can.  I do own my own small company and my husband fully supports my endevors there but I still put my family first above it. 

As for sex...I don't know I see it as a responsibility or "part of the job" sort to speak.  I shouldn't be a chore....or demanded of you on command....you should both want it.  We happen to have a very strong sexual relationship  and we just always have and I feel lucky there.  BUT I have to say if it changed and I had my husband going without for a few monthes he wouldn't be happy...he would never force me but he wouldnt be happy just as if he did that to me i wouldn't be happy either.  When you love someone that much it's natural to want to be as close to them as you possibly can and share that...physicality is part of the relationship.  It's expected after having a baby that things can change but it seems you both need to compromise and be more understand of eachothers wants and needs. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:08 PM
7 kids.
My duties are to:
1.Stay at home.
2. Be a mom
kate80
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:08 PM
New baby? Two words. Crock pot. Stick it in, turn it on, stir maybe. Ta da! Dinner!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:09 PM
Mom of 3
Wake up cook breakfast
Wake everyone else up
Eat breakfast/ nurse the baby
Put dirty dishes in dushwasher
Get oldest ready for school (5 y/o)
Load kids up take DD to school
Come home strap baby to my back
Start a load of cloth diapers (2 in diapers 6 month old/2 year old)
Clean the kitchen and do lunch prep.
Play with the for a hour or so while I wait for diapers .
Switch diaper laundry.
Make lunch
Clean up lunch
Naps for both ( hour)
Pick up everything from playing Ans watch TV
kids wake up and we make dessert or they play.
Ill clean that mess up
Then go get DD
Homework time
Dinner prep
Dh comes homes to dinner almost done
Dh get tge kids while I fix plates
We eat
I take a bath/shower
Then kids bath.
Dh shower
we all play for 30 minutes
30 minutes of chill out time (not being loud but they play)
Then bed time snack
Teeth get brushed and hair brushed
Bed time story
Bed time
Dh cleans up dinner.
Ill do the laundry from he day and we watch an hour of TV then off to bed.
We have sex 3/4 times a week.

Livv066
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Set a schedule for yourself. You don't need to deep clean every room every day. As long as you straightened the room, & lightly vaccumed you're good. The next day, or day after, deep clean it.

Also cook a big meal, then you have leftovers. On leftover night, you can do more stuff. Use that crock pot. If you find yourself with time to spare, or on leftover night, make a dish that can be frozen. Then when you need it, you have it.
You can do it, it's just takes a little organization. :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:14 PM
1 mom liked this
You're a new mom so cut yourself some slack(tell your DH to as well!!!). Those sahms that make everything look easy and make you think they must be superwoman, I promise that didn't happen overnight.... It takes time but one day you'll be a seasoned pro like the rest of us SAHM's;) Just keep at it and do a little bit each day....good luck!!!
Melbornj
by Platinum Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:17 PM

I cook every night, clean, laundry, bills, run kids everywhere, homework time playing with little ones and the outside chores are all of things on my list.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)