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Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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I'm a teen mom and I need some advice. I've learned responsibility from having a child. I'm noticeably more mature and I love having my baby around. My boyfriend on the other hand has not matured in the slightest and is trying to live life to the fullest before becoming an "adult". He recently told me that I make him want to kill himself. And no he is not joking. His problem with me is that I boss him around trying to get him to help out with the baby. I'm trying to make him responsible. He does not understand the difficulty of taking care of a child alone while at the same time attending school. While I am doing my duties he feels like he can do whatever he likes.

I don't know what to do.
Any advice besides leaving him?
And I don't want to hear bashing on why this is why teens shouldn't be having kids.
My baby has everything he needs and is well taken care of.
Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:23 AM
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you do what you do and leave him to do what he will because as you can see, it isnt make his life any easier and what is the result of you trying to force him to be a daddy he isnt ready to be beyond pushing him away completely?  As long as your baby has everything he needs, dont force or expect the dad to be a part of his life until he is ready because yes, you are just teens.  Maybe try taking turns with childcare on the weekends so that one weekend he watches the baby mainly, the next you watch the baby mainly and the next you watch the baby together.  Good luck!

You can make a guy a daddy but it takes a lot to make him a FATHER.  Men mature a lot slower than women and we are more focussed on the nurturing than men overall.  We are biologically programmed to react to the very sound of the baby and men jusrt arent.  They focus more on providing, so if he refuses to give him time then at least get the diapers, baby food, clothes, etc.

babyboy117
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:27 AM
Offer to get counseling with him. Look for parenting classes that you two can take together. It might make him relize how much work really goes into caring for a child.
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melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:30 AM
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Not being mean but try to not be so bossy.  I had a similar problem when my daughter was a baby 11 years ago.  My husband got tired of me telling him what to do but that is the only way I could get him to do anything.  I think the problem was he honestly did not know what to do.  Maybe see what he knows how to do and have him do that.  My husband was a pro by the time my son came along.  I got out of the shower one night he he was rocking our son in the rocking chair, he woke up and my husband got him back to sleep.  You have to remember that women (not all) have motherly instincts and not all men have fatherly instincts.  Try asking him to do things instead of demanding.  Try being a little patient with him.  He will get it in time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:31 AM
well teens shouldn't have kids. regardless if. they r well taken care of
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:33 AM

BUMP!!!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:35 AM
2 moms liked this

Get the hell off this post if you aren't going to contribute any useful info. 

Quoting Anonymous:

well teens shouldn't have kids. regardless if. they r well taken care of


MPH_2010
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:35 AM
3 moms liked this

This isn't just teen behavior at all a lot of men (boys) at any age will act the same way. It happens and I'm sorry but I don't see that changing any time soon , if ever. You need to just focus on living life just you and your baby. Be a strong , independent single mom for now.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:55 AM
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You make an excellent point.. Teens shouldn't be having sex, nor making babies, when emotionally most of them are just not ready for the responsibility. The baby's teen dad in this case is not ready to be a dad. Too bad baby mama didn't see that when she had sex with him. She had sex with a BOY, not a man.

So to the OP, you are left with all the responsibility. You cannot make someone more responsible. In fact, you can't make someone want to do anything. They have to arrive at that place on their own. I'm sorry, but you are going to have the shoulder the responsibility yourself.

In the future, I advise that you grow up, date, get married, then have sex and make babies with a mature adult man.

Quoting Anonymous:

well teens shouldn't have kids. regardless if. they r well taken care of



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:25 AM
lol. how is that not useful?those are wise words. so wise that if she would have thought twice, she would never have been so hurt, so scared, and feel so stuck. she says she doesn't need anyone telling her teen sex is wrong, or that she should leave him for talking so selfishly. tell me how that sous mature enough foot the decision she made to open her legs and get pregnant. if he's suicidal, the next thing he will be threatening is to kill her too. talk to me then. tuck.


Quoting Anonymous:

Get the hell off this post if you aren't going to contribute any useful info. 

Quoting Anonymous:

well teens shouldn't have kids. regardless if. they r well taken care of



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:36 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry, but teen mother or even if she were 50 years old, nobody can see that this is a dangerous relationship for her? All you read was that she's bossy? not the fact that this boy is telling her if he can't have her he will kill himself? so tbasically if he does kill himself over this then its her fault cuz she was bossy? the fact that he is a teen saying this should be a red flag that the next step will be "if cant have you no one will." and her puts a gun to her head leaving that baby motherless, and then turning it on himself. its a harsh reality, but that's the way of the world theses days regardless of the age. but if her is saying this now, being that he is a teenager, what will he say in five years from now? its controlling, selfish and manipulative. and if she can take such Good Care of this baby without him that's exactly what she needs to do.






Quoting melakay1981:

Not being mean but try to not be so bossy.  I had a similar problem when my daughter was a baby 11 years ago.  My husband got tired of me telling him what to do but that is the only way I could get him to do anything.  I think the problem was he honestly did not know what to do.  Maybe see what he knows how to do and have him do that.  My husband was a pro by the time my son came along.  I got out of the shower one night he he was rocking our son in the rocking chair, he woke up and my husband got him back to sleep.  You have to remember that women (not all) have motherly instincts and not all men have fatherly instincts.  Try asking him to do things instead of demanding.  Try being a little patient with him.  He will get it in time.



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