It's been just about 3 months since my nephew was murdered. He was only 5 and his mom's boyfriend is responsible for it and now awaiting trial.
My life has been nothing but sadness since he died. I've been seeing a therapist regularly to help me with my grief and I have a great support group of family and other moms to give me encouraging words. I smile and am grateful for anyone helping but I just don't feel like it helps.
I'll be driving and running errands and out of nowhere, the sadness hits me hard. The tears run down my face even though I try to stop crying and compose myself.
I just can't believe that something so horrific happened to my family. The images of his lifeless body on the hospital bed and him lying in a casket and us not being able to recognize him (from the injuries) haunts me even in my sleep. I get headaches and nauseated and I feel like the images come up unprovoked. There have been occasions (although not as many since right after his death) where I have dreams of him standing at the foot of my bed and immediately disappearing without me getting to say goodbye. :'(
I'm dealing with a heartbreak and heartache that can't be fixed. I've been reading, praying, meditating and taking time for myself but I don't feel like anything is helping. The sadness is just unbearable and I don't feel like I'm coping well.