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So what is the big deal? Yes I am a woman who does not ave a job outside of the house. I love my family to death but these conversations that we have had especially my father saying maybe you should go back to school and get back to work and my uncle tells me that I should not have my life revolve around DS only because when he grows up I won't have really done anything for myself, I might lose myself. In the beginning my mother was not thrilled to learn that her only daughter has decided to depend on her DH.

She went back to school while working and graduated with  4.0 and has been the breadwinner in the family when my SD (step-dad) decided that he did not want to be a banker anymore. I know that they are concerned for me and my well being but it can be frustrating to know they think I could be doing more or something else with my life. 

Did anyone oppose your life decisions?

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Replies (41-50):
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:56 PM

They have some very valid points.

I don't think I'd be thrilled if my son's aspirations in life were to be a SAHD.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:57 PM
No, I had full support from my whole family (except for 1 aunt). I was pregnant when I left my last job (we had trouble conceiving, had to see a fertility doctor to get pregnant) so everyone knew I was going to leave so I wouldn't risk my pregnancy. I was a phlebotomist at a plasma center and worked LOOOOOOOOOOONG hours and just couldn't do it anymore so I left. DH wanted me to stay home for a long time because he makes way more than enough for me to be home with our 2 boys. After I had Adam I had an Aunt tell me that she wished that she could stay home like me so she could sit around and do nothing all day and do nothing with her life. Things didnt go to well for her. I quickly reminded her what my daily schedule is and also reminded her that I graduated from college with highest honors WHILE working full time after I had my 1st son. I reminded her that it is MY life and the only person i'm worried about "pleasing" is DH. We don't receive any form of public assistance, everything we have we got on our own. I have been EXTREMELY sick the past year and have had 6 surgeries on the same thing and been in/out of the hospital so it has been impossible to find a job. However, now i'm putting full effort to find a job because I don't want my schooling to go to waste, I also have to recertify every 2 years and I don't want that to slip away either. I've just learned to ignore folks comments because I know I bust my rear end every day so my DH can come home to a clean home, dinner, clean clothes and also so he can have quality "guy" time with our boys! Sorry so long, just kinda got on a roll! LOL
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:57 PM

No one opposed...I couldn't be a SAHM for longer than 4 years, it was too hard on me emotionally. I went back to work right before my son turned 4. I've been sitting in the house the past 3 days off of work and my son is in 1st grade...let me tell you, I am so excited to go back tomorrow. I have never been so bored. lol

by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:58 PM
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:59 PM
My sister thinks I should quit my career and homeschool. She's batshit crazy and I told her so.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:59 PM

If they are, they aren't brave enough to tell me to my face! ; ) Dr. Phil only said one thing that is really accurate: You teach people who to treat you. I taught my family and friends early on that I am an adult and I can make my own choices. That I don't need them to second guess me. If they have questions (in a nice way) or suggestions (because they see me struggling with something and have something constructive to say) then they know they are welcome. But, they know not to criticize. 

And it is "you're". Not your. Your is possesion. You're is the shortened version of "you are". 

by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:02 PM

no all the women in my family are or were sahms. so its something that is accepted and expected when you have kids. 

by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:02 PM

In a way it's freeing but I do feel bad for my husband. We made the decision together, but that's still his mother and it hurts him not to have her involved with our children.

Maybe one day she'll get her head out of her butt, apologize and understand that we know best regarding our children and she has no say in how we parent....doubtful that will ever happen though.

Quoting Anonymous:

Me too!

Quoting Anonymous:

Yup. My mother in law. I don't speak to her anymore.

by Anonymous 10 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this


You know what, they are right. Suppose you wind up divorced or you lose your husband, you need a job and skills to fall back on. You need to create a life for yourself.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:09 PM

I had my 2 oldest boys at a young age I did go to school but even with my schooling i still couldn't get a better job and when i divorced my ex I was a working mother which I was thankful for being one and working my ass off providing for my boys I was glad i had the income. Then i met my DH and he is a great man. I worked for a few years until my youngest was born he was born at 34 wks with a ASD heart defect within those days I felt I don't want to miss a moment of his fighting life and decided I was not going back to work. I'm happy to say he is now a healthy 2 yr old and the ASD heart defect closed and is no longer there. I get crap for some in my family but I tell them if i ask you for money then you can tell me that I should be working until then its my life and I will do what I feel is best for my family. My DH backs me 100%. My 2 older boys are 16 n 15 they love that I'm at home now. I feel guilty sometimes all those years I missed going to have lunch with them or school plays while growing up are years i can never get back.

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