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So what is the big deal? Yes I am a woman who does not ave a job outside of the house. I love my family to death but these conversations that we have had especially my father saying maybe you should go back to school and get back to work and my uncle tells me that I should not have my life revolve around DS only because when he grows up I won't have really done anything for myself, I might lose myself. In the beginning my mother was not thrilled to learn that her only daughter has decided to depend on her DH.

She went back to school while working and graduated with  4.0 and has been the breadwinner in the family when my SD (step-dad) decided that he did not want to be a banker anymore. I know that they are concerned for me and my well being but it can be frustrating to know they think I could be doing more or something else with my life. 

Did anyone oppose your life decisions?

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Replies (71-75):
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:51 PM

Thank you, no one ever flips the situation, we as wives do bring a lot to the table in the relationship if we were to be gone it would be very difficult especially in DH's case because for the past couple of months he has been working 12 hour days and even going in on the weekend (his job is very busy). If I were to God forbid, die tomorrow he would have to cut way back on work to get DH through everything.

Quoting loisl25:

You are accomplishing way more imo than you would in the workforce. Molding a young person is an extremely important job that I don't think SHOULD be outsourced to people who don't love your kid(s). I HAVE had some flak from dh for it. He was a bachelor a loooong time and got rather used to his several hundred dollars every pay period to just blow on stupid stuff, and with me not working, and him suddenly supporting a wife and three kids, now he has only 2 or 3 hundred to blow on stupid stuff every month, lol, (to clarify, I have practically NO fun money). He wants me to work so I can pay some of the bills, but after I made him realize we would NOT be coming out ahead financially with me working, mostly due to the cost of child care, he has come around to the idea of me staying at home for now.

   I think if it's not financially advantagious for both parents to work, or if one partner makes enough to support the whole family, and both don't WANT to work outside the home and be away from their kids, then one parent should stay home, and it doesn't even always have to be the wife.

  As for the 'depending on a man' comment. In our modern, feminist and divorce happy society 'depending on a man' is considered a terrible and stupid thing to do, and yes, it can be difficult if the rug gets pulled out from under you and you split up, BUT think about it, he depends on you as much as you do him. You take care of his kids and his home. How would he managed if you up and died or something? He'd then have to take care of the kid, earn the income, and etc... ALL BY HIMSELF!, and I'm betting it would be too much for him to handle, unless he could afford a really good nanny. That's what I think of all the time. As hard as it would be for me if I suddenly didn't have my dh, it would be harder for him if he didn't have me.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:53 PM

Ok, unless you are a new member, you know people will oppose you. This is just an attention whore post

by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:58 PM

I've been really lucky.  I live in an area that is still really old fashioned and a woman staying at home is still normal here.  I had my family's full support.  I've never been given any issues about it and the only exposure I have to that is what I see online.

by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:32 PM

Actually most of the comments that I read so far are positive and the ladies who have responded thought about their answers unlike you who just wanted to stop by and leave some negativity.

Quoting mamabear55:

Ok, unless you are a new member, you know people will oppose you. This is just an attention whore post

by Mrs. Tennant on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:56 PM

 My in-laws are not entirely thrilled I stay at home but after seeing how happy we are with the situation, they have stopped making comments.

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