I'm a SAHM; DH wants me to work. **Edit/Update**
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I've never made much money. DH wants me to make at least $40,000 a year because he says that a "decent supplemental income."
I've only made up to $24,000 a year, and he said he doesn't want me to work jobs like that again because they are "low-class."
We tried in Fall of 2011 having me go back to school, and I was honestly relieved when my ex-husband made it impossible for me to continue going to school or work, because that "bought me time." But we appealed the decision, and once this school year is up, I should easily be able to work or go to school again.
I was failing out of my classes when I was back in school. I was just doing horrible. DH doesn't know that. He thinks I'm smart. He's told me that I'm smarter than him. But I don't think I have what it takes to "do school" well.
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UPDATE! We had a long talk last night!
It's not about the money. He makes $43,500 more now than he did when he first gave me the opportunity to stay home. And I offered to go back to work at the restaurant I worked at, so that's not the problem. I talked to him more last night. He says waitressing is okay if you're just graduated from high school, or don't have other options. He'd rather I not work at all than waitress.
As we talked more, it became obvious that money isn't the issue to him. If I made very little, working as a social worker, a public school teacher, or as some kind of nutrition service worker (like a Certified Diabetes Educator) then it would mean I had a career that I needed an education to pursue, I had work he could be proud of, etc. He said that he did not want to tell people that his wife was a waitress, worked in a grocery store, sold shoes at Dillards, etc. He did not feel this way when we married, but his opinions have evolved. And he admitted that he cares about what other people think more than his dad. Because when we met, he'd only graduated the year before, and his mom, who's a full-time homemaker, had gotten a job stocking shelves at ABC Liquor to pay for his apartment while he was in school. And his dad makes more than my husband, but he was proud of his wife for doing her part to contribute to their son's education, even though some of my husband's friends made fun of him for having a mom who worked there.
I think the other moms here who have said he wants me to have ambitions are right. It's a little frustrating, because I made it really clear to him that I did not want a career before we even started dating. I did not mind waitressing. My idea of "moving up" is getting trained to be a bartender, or managing a restaurant. =/ So I guess I have to change?
wow.
I work 32 hours a week, have a bachelors of social work, and bring home below his "low class" income level
I made that money waitressing. I'm sure it I had a "karma job" like social work, he might be able to be okay with that, because then he could tell people his wife is a social worker, she doesn't make much, but she helps a lot of people, so on and so on.
Quoting peanutsmommy1:wow.
I work 32 hours a week, have a bachelors of social work, and bring home below his "low class" income level
40K is a basic entry level salaried position in almost any company. That's not that hard to get.
Quoting Anonymous:How do you get a $40,000 a year job???
Quoting Anonymous:
Well if your husband said so I think you better do what he ses!
I think you should fess up....I told my dh right from the get go that while I have aspirations to open my own restaurant/cooking business eventually............ I fully intended to be a sahm until all my children were in school. No if ands or buts......we could be financially strapped but I would still stay at home as long as possible and cut corners to hell and back before Id let someone else raise my children.
What were you struggling with the most?
That's the ugliest name everrrr!!!