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I know I'm being childish!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have 2 dauhters, they are 3 years apart and are very close.  We all 3 are close, but I know there is a lot they talk about with each other that they dont' feel comfortable talking to me about.  They are adults.  It makes me feel great knowing they have each other.

My DH has a son that is an adult also, only child, and no friends.  It drives me crazy, I mean like bat shit crazy, that he calls DH 3-6 times a day for anything, everything and nothing.  Oh and add at least 50 texts a day and night!  Every work break, lunch break, he calls his father.  And DH answers no matter what we are doing, because he feels bad.  He never says "I'm busy", or "its a bad time".  Even when sometimes, it really has been.  Lately when I'm in the middle of a conversation and the phone rings, I stop talking, walk away, and I refuse to continue the conversation when he is done talking to him.  I know its childish but it pisses me off. 

My girls have tried to be close to my SS, but he just crawls further up DH 's butt. 

 

 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Replies (11-19):
Oostera
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree. Once the kids are grown, they have their own lives and I have mine. Sure, I will be there for them BUT I reserve the right to continue living. I don't think you are jealous but you so need to have a LOOOOOOONG talk with your DH.


GhettoKoolAide
by Lighthouse Blues on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:46 PM
Your husband needs to man up. Otherwise I don't see the marriage being a happy long lasting one.


Quoting Anonymous:

 




Quoting GhettoKoolAide:

Your husband is being incredibly rude. Seeing as your his wife at some point he needs to cut cord with adult son.



 That is how I feel.  I'm not trying to be rude or sound jealous.  I am close to my SS.  He calls me mom and we get along great.  But he has friends, a girlfriend.  I know my husband gets frustrated sometimes, when the phone rings, he looks down and yells obcenities, (because he had already talked to him 5 times that day) but he wont' say anything to his son about it. 


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:50 PM
Just because kids become adults does not mean they are not suppose to call home. You should kinda bitchy. I understand what you are saying but if were to step out and take a look at what you are saying then maybe you would realize how much of a bitch you sound.
mommamaggi
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:50 PM

I can see your point, and I think your feelings are justified to a point. I don't think it's jealousy as much as it just frustration with never being able to enjoy time with your husband because his adult child is constantly interrupting.

More than that understanding though, I am leaning towards being concerned for his son. If he's that dependant on his father's attention and friendship then something is really missing in his life; that's what I would feel compelled to address first. 

What else can you tell us about him? Is he an outcast, like the bullied kid in school would grow up to be? Is he a "geek", like really smart but socially awkward? Is he a gamer? Each of those social demographics communicate and socialize differently, so I actually may have some advice to help him make some friends other than his father if I know what group(s) he would fall into.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:51 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting Oostera:

I agree. Once the kids are grown, they have their own lives and I have mine. Sure, I will be there for them BUT I reserve the right to continue living. I don't think you are jealous but you so need to have a LOOOOOOONG talk with your DH.


 I'm going to this weekend.  I hit my boiling point 2 nights ago, I had just fallen asleep and next to me, DH is texting SS, at 11pm.  I was so angry I couldn't get back to sleep.  When I said something, he put the phone on vibrate.  Hello, doesn't solve the issue. 

Matriarch87
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:52 PM

Damn...you's a bitch.  

I HOPE & PRAY my son wants to me to be that involved with him when he is an adult. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:53 PM

 


Quoting mommamaggi:

I can see your point, and I think your feelings are justified to a point. I don't think it's jealousy as much as it just frustration with never being able to enjoy time with your husband because his adult child is constantly interrupting.

More than that understanding though, I am leaning towards being concerned for his son. If he's that dependant on his father's attention and friendship then something is really missing in his life; that's what I would feel compelled to address first. 

What else can you tell us about him? Is he an outcast, like the bullied kid in school would grow up to be? Is he a "geek", like really smart but socially awkward? Is he a gamer? Each of those social demographics communicate and socialize differently, so I actually may have some advice to help him make some friends other than his father if I know what group(s) he would fall into.

He was bullied, he still does not have any friends, and he is 22 and just now has his first girlfriend.  He isn't ugly, but very awkward and socially backwards.  DH apparently has always been his only friend.  My girls and I have tried very hard to help him with his social skills and they have gotten better but he has said many times, that he isn't interested in having friends. 

 

mommamaggi
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:23 PM

Okay, a lot of people are going to bash this suggestion, but I know it works because it worked for my cousin. He was bullied relentlessly in school because he was just awkward and when he grew up he decided having friends wasn't worth the rejection that comes with trying to make friends. So we got him into video games online.

At first he liked it because it was his perfect fantasyland; he was the hero, he got to save the day and create this whole world where he didn't have to worry about rejection and being picked on, but after a while it became a place for him to meet people just like him; guys who had been picked on and fucked with to the point that they gave up on making friends. They form these alliances or clans in the games and working together to achieve a common goal helps them build these friendships; strong bonds like you or I would have formed in high school. He now meets up with these guys for live gaming sessions, they go out to bars and dinner and their lives are much fuller. 


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting mommamaggi:

I can see your point, and I think your feelings are justified to a point. I don't think it's jealousy as much as it just frustration with never being able to enjoy time with your husband because his adult child is constantly interrupting.

More than that understanding though, I am leaning towards being concerned for his son. If he's that dependant on his father's attention and friendship then something is really missing in his life; that's what I would feel compelled to address first. 

What else can you tell us about him? Is he an outcast, like the bullied kid in school would grow up to be? Is he a "geek", like really smart but socially awkward? Is he a gamer? Each of those social demographics communicate and socialize differently, so I actually may have some advice to help him make some friends other than his father if I know what group(s) he would fall into.

He was bullied, he still does not have any friends, and he is 22 and just now has his first girlfriend.  He isn't ugly, but very awkward and socially backwards.  DH apparently has always been his only friend.  My girls and I have tried very hard to help him with his social skills and they have gotten better but he has said many times, that he isn't interested in having friends. 




GhettoKoolAide
by Lighthouse Blues on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:25 PM
How does she sound like a bitch? She sounds like she wants some respect and attention. If his adult son can't wait until they are down then he's helped raised an entitled brat. Five or six times a day or nothing is excessive.


Quoting Anonymous:

Just because kids become adults does not mean they are not suppose to call home. You should kinda bitchy. I understand what you are saying but if were to step out and take a look at what you are saying then maybe you would realize how much of a bitch you sound.

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